


Always Meant To Be (Just Friends)

by HookedonCS



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Term Relationship(s), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2016-06-07
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:11:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 82,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4448747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HookedonCS/pseuds/HookedonCS
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"Have you ever heard of those people who make those stupid pacts?"<i> The connection that Emma Swan and Killian Jones have transcends the 14 years they spend apart. As teenagers, neither realize what their bond truly means. When they are reunited, the truth is undeniable. But... they try to tamper those feelings for as long as possible, without ruining a lifelong friendship.</i></i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story is a combination of many thoughts that have been going on in my mind. Maybe even a mesh of a few tropes. If you think it's one thing, it may veer as the story goes along. This is definitely a shorter story. One not filled with angst, because I know I can get angst. So just enjoy something fluffier from me, without the fear of tears and heartache.

"Wait a second, okay?" Emma Swan pressed a hand and all of her weight into her best friend's back, using him to lean against. The other hand immediately fell down as her high-heeled foot came up to meet it. "These shoes are killing me."

"You're the one who wanted to get all fancy for a dance you barely wanted to even attend."

Killian Jones' murmur held a tinge of playfulness to it. His gaze slid down over hers, watching the way she slipped her foot from out of its prison.

"Hey, I doll myself up for you and that's the response that I get?" Emma couldn't hide the smile on her face at even her own sarcasm. She leaned even farther against him as she rotated her now bare ankle just off the ground.

"For me? I think it was more about overall pleasing parents, Emma."

He was right, of course. Because, for their own singular reasons, school dances hadn't mattered to either one of them. It hadn't been a surprise then that they had both been ready to ditch the party not even an hour into it. Now, it was all about finding a way to get off the premises undetected and without a thousand questions being fired their way.

"Okay, I'm ready." Emma rolled her eyes, keeping the sigh in, as she slipped the heel back onto her foot.

Killian was quick to take hold of her now free hand, pulling her closer to him. His steps were once again speedy as before she'd stopped them.

"What's the rush though?" Emma frowned as she kept up at his speed. "Liam said it was going to take at least ten minutes to get here."

"I'm trying not to get caught is all." Killian stopped abruptly, almost causing her to slam right into him, and turned back to face her. "How are your feet?"

"I'm fine."

His smile was small. Genuine.

"I… feel like… I should apologize. I'm not… good with people." Killian's eyes danced across her face. "All those people in there? It was beginning to make me feel a little claustrophobic."

Her best friend. That's what he was always going to be. So she understood the… issues that he dealt with. She knew his insecurities and how his shyness sometimes got the best of him.

"Well, I was tired of all the fakeness," she assured him, lifting her chin (and maybe her nose) into the air. "You may think you're not good with people, but I can't deal with people who have to play some role. And our school is full of those people."

Killian offered her another smile. He was silent for just a moment more. Then, giving her hand another gentle tug, he began moving again.

"So we're going to just sit out here in the parking lot until Liam gets here?" she asked with a frown.

"He'll be here soon enough."

Emma let her eyes travel across the half-empty parking lot. There was a sigh on her lips as they continued on to some quiet and hidden spot on the lot, waiting for a familiar car to pull up.

"This was an all-around bad idea anyway. I know that. You know that."

She came in contact with his back.

"How is that? Don't dances and after-school activities solve all teenager's issues? Anyway, you're supposed to be the one to crack this shell, you know?" Killian turned his smirk on her. "They seem to be hoping, at least." It was more than just the smirk this time. There was even a little sadness in his eyes.

"Well, I'm doing my best." Her aching feet didn't stop her from pulling ahead so that she could take her place beside him. "Are they looking for miracles?"

"Hey! Am I that much of a project?"

His offense to the question made the corners of her mouth turn up. "I was thinking more of… my…"

"Your parents, Emma?" That question was soft, and maybe a little too insightful.

When was she going to ever be used to those words to describe them? Wasn't taking their name and agreeing to turn foster care into an adoption enough?

"That's parents for you."

"I'm not the best one to have an opinion on that, I guess."

She'd spent nearly her entire life in the system. Even the two plus years with the Swans didn't automatically prepare her to be all-knowing of what family dynamics were supposed to consist of.

"It is though: parents for you."

Killian made her smile again.

His hand slipped from hers just as he feet paused. Her eyes swept across the lot as a sigh left here lips. Looking back at him, she didn't ask the question of why they stopped there, amidst all the parked vehicles.. She figured that he and Liam had made it their designated spot for pickup.

"Sometimes… I wonder though…"

Emma watched as Killian leaned into the car parked in front of them, not hesitating or worrying about a possible issue that might cause.

"What?" It was the way he leaned there, her best friend…

He didn't look at her. It was either his feet or the ground that held his attention.

"Why… this isn't good enough." His fingers laced together, the hold looking tight. "You know?"

"Like… why they push us to influence each other?" Emma raised an eyebrow that he didn't see. "Like… why do they think you need it?"

Killian looked up at her then. There were stains of coloring in his cheeks as his clear blue eyes gazed upon her.

Emma took a step towards him, bringing her right back next to him.

"I like the shy side of you, Killian." It was a whispered confession as she shook her head. "It means that when you share something it is important to you. That it's not for everyone."

He leaned even farther against the side-panel of the car.

"And I like that you are a little spitfire, Emma." A shoulder lifted in a shrug. "I like that you are tough and that it takes something to get you to open up. Trust even."

"That's only because I did it with you," she whispered, knowing it was the truth.

Killian's lips tremored into a smile. "Aye, maybe so."

Emma smiled back. It was for many reasons. Most of them had to do with Killian Jones. It had to do with her best friend of over a year. Two very different kids, but two kids that had found something within the other that was… possibly needed. Possibly… even missing. Until…

He probably thought that her life wasn't as hard as she made it out to be. He probably believed that she added drama to her life that didn't need to be there. But… it wasn't like she didn't see the dream life that he had. Successful parents who loved him. An older brother in which to idolize. But… then again… moving to a new country at the tender age of fourteen couldn't have been the easiest thing. (It was still probably a lot easier than living in the foster care system for the first thirteen years of life before finding… stability.) The fact that they'd both saw something in the other one, the fact that they'd both- rather quickly- let the other one in the way they did…

"You're my constant, Killian." Emma folded her arms over her chest as she fell against the car beside him. "Since day one." She was slow to look up at him. Maybe it was because she didn't know what she would find on his face. But as her constant, she should have known…

Another twist of his lips. Blue eyes watching her sincerely.

"Since the moment you came to my aid."

"Day one…" She didn't let her mind drift too far back on that day. Not just then…

"You're my constant as well, Emma."

It was sort of… nice? More than nice. When the days were bad… When the days weren't what she wanted them to be, Killian was still…. Killian.

Emma felt herself swallow. "You'll always be there for me, Killian? No matter what happens?"

She wanted to blame it on the orphan thing. She would blame it on the orphan thing…

"No matter what." His own folded arm bumped against her, his smile small.

She is an orphan (it would always be present, never only past), and that could mean that she would have to leave. A lot. Or that others leave her.

"We'll always have one another," she murmured softly, not knowing why she'd turned reflective in that moment. She didn't know what drove her to need the confirmation of them.

"You'll never be alone again, Emma." His eyes blinked at her.

"And you'll never have to be worried that you're not good enough." It was a two-way street. "I will always like you for you, Killian. And never need you to change."

"And I… you."

Trust. She trusted his words. She knew that, even at their age, she could believe him to be true. Her best friend. Her shy and reserved friend. But, even with his gentility, she did see more. Because he let her see more. Chalk it up to the orphan thing again, Emma didn't mind. She didn't want to know a life without him being a part of it.

Killian turned his gaze back down to the ground in front of him. His fingers tangled with each other, a sign of nervous tension.

She…

Emma blinked her eyes down to the ground, her thoughts running.

"Have you ever heard of those people who make those stupid pacts?" She shrugged as her face pinched at just the thought.

"Pacts? Like what?"

"Like when they promise to one another that… if things don't work out in their lives… then they'd just… you know, be together. They'd marry each other?" She looked up just in time to see the corners up his mouth lift in a smile.

"Like…" His own shoulders hunched over in a sort of shrug. "If we're both single at the age of thirty-"

"Oh, God! Thirty!"

"Thirty isn't… ancient, Ems," Killian murmured, barely keeping from rolling his eyes.

"It doesn't sound like it to you?"

He was slow to shake his head, his smile growing.

"If the world keeps treating us the way it has since we were kids…." Emma turned her eyes directly on his. "Then we'll say, 'Screw the world.'"

"And turn back to the one person who has always been there for us?" It was soft as his eyes trekked a path over her face.

Emma lifted one shoulder in a shrug. "'Remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at thirty we'd marry each other? Well, guess whose birthday it is!'"

"Something like that, huh?"

"What do you think?" She was more than a little serious. Life before Killian Jones was…. Life without Killian Jones in it? What was that?

"I think… that it's possible that you'd still be the only one who gets me at thirty."

His words made her turn towards him, into him.

Why didn't most people see beyond the quietness and the shyness? Why was he left to believe that his awkwardness made him a less valuable member of the Jones' family? Because he was valuable. To them. And to her.

Then again, she was sure he would have similar questions for her: Why, after two years, did she still feel like the orphan girl? Why did she mistrust those in her life as well as those on the outside of her life?

Which was why…

"I think it's possible that no one would understand me either. Not really."

"Then…"

An engine and headlights turned her attention away from him and their conversation.

"Is that…"

"It's Liam. And he's early." Killian was already looking in the same direction of the incoming car.

Emma slumped against the car, her hand already moving to her shoe again. This time, it came off and stayed off. So did its match.

"Did you want to come over to my house? Maybe my parents would expect the early return more than yours." His hand came out, waiting for her to pass him the shoes.

Emma's smile was only an outer indicator of how she felt completely about him.

"Definitely."

A sweep of his free hand crossed over his ear, his smirk brightening his entire face.

Her best friend. The relatively new transplant from parts of England who was trying really hard to relate to American culture. Best friends with the orphan girl who had her own problems to deal with. But… yeah…

The car pulled up to them just then, a little less than quietly.

There was a bond there that she knew she never wanted to lose. Not at any cost.


	2. Chapter 1

**Fourteen years later…**

****

****

Emma looked at the bottom right corner of her laptop. It was nearly six o'clock already. She should have been home, at the very least, an hour ago. Six o'clock in Boston meant eleven o'clock in London. That realization made her face pinch in regret. He'd be tired.

Earlier that morning she had warned Killian that it was probably going to be a long day, that it would be late before she could Skype him. His voice in her ear told her that he didn't mind, that he would wait for her. When she suggested they just talk over the phone on her way to work, he refused. _No… no. I don't want to have this conversation over the phone. I would much rather Skype with you._

__

__

The thought of his voice and his words…. Emma sighed as her eyes fell on that clock again. Eight in the morning- well, her morning- was one window of time that usually worked for her, but that hadn't been the case this morning. August had needed her, calling her in for duty earlier than usual.

"August." Emma looked up at her brother, sitting across from her in the chair, from her seat on the couch.

"What are you doing?" His voice sounded wary with that question.

She saw the careful widening of his eyes and shift of his chin as her hand came to close the laptop.

"Are you ready to leave?" He said it as if it was the most bizarre concept she could have ever come up with.

Emma smiled, her own eyes drifting off to the side. "I have to get home, August. I've been at this all day."

She loved her brother, but she didn't have time for the puppy dog eyes he set on her. She didn't have time for him to drag her into another hour of detailed editing of another chapter of his book.

"Deadlines are coming up, Emma," he reminded her with those same sad eyes. "I have to get these chapters completed in time."

His pleas made her blink at him.

"What if I promise to work on it when I get home?" She could only offer him a smile.

August shook his head slowly, his own eyes blinking at her.

"I'm overthinking this, aren't I?"

Would it be wrong to agree with him? Was he too overworked to hear the words?

"Yes, you're overthinking this," she finally said. "Everything is going great!"

She understood though. It wasn't that this was his first book that he was ever trying to get published. He had two very successful books that had come out within the last five years. That didn't change that he was in a competitive world when it came to writing and getting quality backing for those stories.

Emma had been at his side the entire time. The five-year age difference had not lessened their bond in the least bit. It could have been a factor, but… it had not been.

When Emma entered the home of William and Bethany Swan, she was thirteen. She wasn't their first shot at the foster care thing. She wasn't the first adopted child to grace their lives. No, that had been August.

He was eighteen when she was supposed to begin calling their house home. A high school senior. One that had used his weird sense of humor and unique outlook on life to get her to open up.

August had been the easiest of the three to get to know. There had been a bond that formed between them. _Sister _had been a hell of a lot easier to mentally accept than _daughter, _not to mention physically and emotionally. It had become a bond that had followed her into adulthood. A bond that had changed and shaped her life. Her career. It was all August. She was grateful for that and for him. But now- right now- home was calling her.____

"You're right, Emma." The words didn't come easily out of his mouth. A hand came up to rub roughly over his beard. "You're right."

She couldn't help the twinkle of her eyes as she watched him shake his head. He was trying. Trying to believe what she knew for sure.

"Not only did you spend the majority of your work day solely focused on me, you also came over here and helped some more." He dragged two hands through the slightly curling brown hair atop his head.

This time, Emma smiled. "It was no problem, August." Turning her attention to the coffee table in front of her, she started to gather up all of her materials. Her bag was beside her and she was soon stuffing everything inside of it.

"So, I'll just see you tomorrow?" he asked.

She looked up to see August standing up from his seat.

"Will you be at the office bright and early?" It was meant to be only slightly taunting as she kept the smile to herself.

"I'll be there bright and early." Those hands were back, fingers scrubbing through the hair at the back of his head this time.

"Seriously, I will look at these when I make it home."

Happy and grateful that August seemed more willing to let her go, Emma was quick to finish packing up the rest of her things. Her hands moved fast, shoving the bag closed and reaching for her jacket.

"Ah…"

Emma's eyes turned up towards him just as she began to stand up, grabbing the bag along with her.

"What?" she asked, seeing the slow steps he took away from his prior seat. "What?"

"Emma, don't worry about it." August shook his head. "Tomorrow will be soon enough."

It made her raise an eyebrow. "Are you telling me that I get the night off?"

It wasn't a smile on his face, it was more like a smirk. As he walked over to her, his chin turning down this time, his eyes narrowed on her.

"How about you just tell Killian I said hi?"

Emma felt the instant purse of her lips. He wasn't the only reason she had to leave. There was a bravado in the way August had asked the question. A bravado and knowledge of what he deemed to be true.

"Um… thanks to you, by the time I get home, it will be after midnight in London."

"Oh, you are so good with time zones!" He was enjoying this. The fully-taunting smile spoke to that. "I mean, right off the top of your head… I don't think I would be able to recall that so easily, myself."

His smugness almost- almost- had her laughing.

"I do have a life beyond my editorial career and Killian Jones," she reminded him, narrowing her eyes and trying to keep the smile at a minimum. "Sometimes that means, you know, doing stuff for me."

"Well now I'm convinced."

As she watched him begin to move ahead of her, she was wary of that being the end of it.

"But if you do. Talk to him?" He was quick to turn back towards her, shrugging. "Well… you know."

Emma rolled her eyes, giving up. "I will do that."

"Do you need help getting to the car?"

Emma shook her head. "No, I'm okay."

He nodded. "Okay then. I will see you tomorrow, Emma."

She pulled her bag closer to her as she began to follow him towards the door.

"Hey, don't forget!"

She didn't know if it was his sudden words or if it was the way he pointed a finger out towards her. Either way...

"Go ahead and mention that I miss him while you're at it." This time, there was a grin splitting across his face.

Maybe Emma had been wrong… That grin made her roll her eyes and turn back around.

"Goodbye, August."

"Bye bye, Emma."

****

**6:33pm**

**  
**

_**I'm sorry. Are you still awake?** _

_**  
** _

Emma sighed as she tossed the phone down on the bed. If he was still awake, when it was nearly midnight, then she wanted to Skype on her laptop. Not the phone.

The computer was pulled out of the bag. Dropping down on the bed herself, she was quick to open it up and log in.

It was difficult having her best friend so far away from her. Or was it just ridiculous that she was best friends with a man who had nearly always lived an ocean away from her? No… No, it wasn't ridiculous… She wouldn't have wanted to give him up for anything in the world.

Emma's eyes darted across the screen as her fingers nimbly ran across the mouse and the keyboard. It was at record speed (thank God for high-speed internet) that she opened and logged into Skype.

The smile was instant when she saw that he was already online. She was already typing in a message when the video call came in…

"I'm still awake."

Her smile crumbled as she tried to keep it from being too big, too wide, too… much. She enveloped part of her bottom lip into her mouth, her teeth gnashing softly at it.

It must have been the totality of… him. Not just the messy hair that was a little bit too long in the front. Not just the scruffy beard that was in need of a quick trim. Not even the bluest of blue eyes that looked at her warily. Nope… It was everything.

"Hi."

Sometimes… sometimes it was hard to believe that this was what their relationship- friendship- had been reduced to. Text messages, phone calls, Skyping… But, then again, except for the few and far between vacations, this was what it had primarily been. Being eighteen was… years ago. More than a decade. So… wasn't she used to it?

Killian rubbed both hands over his face, a guttural sound rising from his throat at the same time. Then, suddenly, both hands were removed. He turned those blue eyes on her. The accompanying smile was bright.

"Hi, Emma."

How did he do it? There was something about the combination of his voice, soft and sleepy, and the way he looked just then that made her chest tighten. It never got old, her friendship with him. It always felt good, almost too good, almost painfully good, when they connected.

There was a moment, a substantial moment, where they were both silent. She had her reasons. She was sure that he had his own.

"August."

"Hm?" Killian peered closer into the screen. "I get it, Emma. Deadlines and such."

"He sends his love," Emma assured him with only the tiniest of smiles.

"Right back at him." This time, his smile was almost nonexistent.

"What's wrong?" It was time to pull best friend duty. It was time to be that virtual shoulder to lean on.

Killian took in a deep breath and held it while he leaned back from the camera. He was slow to shake his head as his gaze fell off of her.

"I don't know, Emma." It was a murmur that spoke of his confusion. "He… is pushing and prodding for me to take on more of a leadership role here. I'm… not Liam. Emma… I'm not Liam."

The hurt in his voice was almost too much for her. Especially from across networks and cameras. Especially when she couldn't be there to comfort him by placing her arms around him in a hug. She knew how he felt about his father. It wasn't necessarily a bad relationship. They were just two different men. The elder had tried to leave his mark on the younger one. Had tried to groom him to be the man he believed he should be. It was those differences that made him hard to connect with.

"He knows that you're not Liam." It was soft, almost quiet.

"Does he?" His eyes were on her again, the frown tugging at his eyebrows.

"He does." Emma blinked her eyes on him, forcing herself to not turn away.

She couldn't find real fault in Donovan Jones or the business he kept. It was because of him and that business that she'd ever came in contact with Killian.

English Multimodal International Deliveries had not meant anything to her. That was… until it brought the Jones' family from London, England to Boston, Massachusetts some fifteen years prior. Who knew that then what effect international shipping would have on her life? It had given her her best friend…

"Then why can't he see that my name will never be one of those at the top?"

The visible swallow of the man in front of her only spoke more of the hurt. Hurt that she couldn't fix.

"He wants me to strive to be business-minded like him. Like Liam," Killian continued, the sadness only growing. "But I am never going to head up an entire branch of a multi-million pound company."

"Liam doesn't head up the entire branch, Killian."

"You think that he won't one day, Emma?" Those eyebrows lifted in question as he stared right at her. "As the years pass, he will get there. He's only thirty-three. That's why."

"And you're only twenty-nine."

"I'm also the one that's here, every day, with him," Killian reminded her. "Not Liam." Just then, he leaned back into the camera, peering at her once more. "Don't you know that my father would love it if he had both sons running branches of the company he dedicated his life to?"

"I think that he'd love, just as equally, if his two sons were successful in the things that make them happy."

Her words drove Killian into silence. He watched her as closely as he could. The look on his face changed into something softer, into something that wasn't hurt over his father and his working conditions.

"I miss you, Emma." He'd said it with such earnest and with such sincerity.

Sometimes…

Emma took in a deep and steadying breath. "I miss you, too, Killian."

It was in that moment… where Skype wasn't enough. It was moments, like this one, where the distance really got to her. It was when she became that eighteen-year-old high school graduate all over again, having to say goodbye to her friend for who knew how long.

"Bloody hell," Killian muttered, his head turning at the same time.

She saw the agitation in his movements and the way he half stood up from his seat.

"What's got you going all British on me, Killian?" Emma asked softly, trying to catch anything behind him that might clue her in.

The computer was set down, taking him completely out of view for that moment.

Emma thought she heard something, but she wasn't sure what it was. Another… voice? Was it…?

When Killian finally came back, he wasn't alone. Emma could make out part of a fingernail-polished and manicured hand. It would have been only one woman who would feel so comfortable at being in Killian's personal space that way. It would have been only one woman who would have been there.

"Emma, I'm going to go ahead and get off of here." He was looking her over, a frown once again lacing those brows.

"Elizabeth?"

Nearly midnight… Her heart didn't sink in her chest at the thought of her being there or the actual time of day that she was visiting. Nope, not in the least. Why would that happen? Why would she have any reaction towards the woman in his life.

Hearing her name, the pretty brunette brought her face into the camera.

"Hello, Emma," she greeted with a much thicker English accent than Killian's.

"Hi, Elizabeth."

She disappeared from view just in time for Emma to be able to get a clear view of the nervous habit of Killian's fingers dipping just behind his ear.

"I'm just going to tell her goodnight. I'll be right there."

The faint _okay _could be heard, along with her footsteps that signaled their once-again privacy.__

"Back _on _again, I see," Emma murmured. It was supposed to be light, easy.__

What wasn't there to love about Elizabeth Bancroft? Well, maybe Emma could think of a few things at the moment… But, when Emma made herself be honest (and sometimes she had to _make _herself be honest), she could admit that she was a really good woman who had good intentions towards her best friend. So how could she find fault in her? She… couldn't.__

Killian smiled ruefully. "On again."

"And here I thought that my rushing home wasn't in vain because you were up waiting for _me, _" Emma said just as lightly.__

His lips pursed for the briefest of moments. "I was waiting for _you _. I… needed to hear _your _voice, Emma. I needed… you to hear about _my _day. Because that's what we do… for one another."______

The need was back. He'd brought that need back into her heart and her soul. A need that had to be tampered. Extinguished.

"Well, since I'm not there to put my arms around you, I guess Elizabeth will do all the comforting."

Killian was quick to look away, his attention turning for a second.

"I'd much rather it be my best friend." He looked back at her then. "I love you, Emma."

Sometimes… Most of the time, the purity of their love was better than anything else that could be between them…

"I love you, too, Killian." Emma nodded her head, trying not to yearn too much for the friend that she missed. "I'll talk to you later."

"Eight o'clock slash one o'clock sound good to you?" His eyebrow lifted in question as well. "Then I won't lobby all the time on just my issues."

"Eight slash one," Emma agreed softly. "Bye, Killian."

"Bye, Emma. I love you."

"I love you, too."

With a final smile, it was Killian who disconnected the call.

Leaving Emma…

She felt the set of her mouth, her lips forming a single line. Grabbing at the laptop with both hands, she swung it down on the bed beside her.

It might have been nearly midnight in London, and Killian might have his on again/off again girlfriend with him, but… It was nearly seven o'clock in Boston. Nowhere near time for bed. No. There was other things that Emma Swan could do, or would have to do, to keep her occupied.


	3. Chapter 2

_Boys could be jerks._

__

__

_Emma watched with only a faint interest at the table in front of her. That wasn't even Brian Dennison's lunch table. So why were he, and the rest of his crappy group of friends, sitting there? The answer to that question was an easy one. It was a table that was usually sparse. It was a table where individuals who were not a part of any particular group sat and that included the new kid._

__

__

_As freshman themselves, it wasn't too long ago that they were the new kids in the high school. So really, they should have remembered what that felt like and they shouldn't have picked on the new foreign kid just because they were bored._

__

__

_He was in a few of her classes, she'd noticed. He'd been here a week, maybe a little longer than that…_

__

__

_His name escaped her because… he was a quiet kid. Although, she had heard him speak before. He was a transplant. Not from Boston. Not from Massachusetts. Not from America. Some part of England, if she had to guess. He had one of those proper British accents. Although she had only caught a hint of it…._

__

__

_Picking at the banana that was a part of her lunch, she watched as the shoulders of Brian and the rest of his group seemed to hunch over. They were surrounding the kid. And what was he doing?_

__

__

_Emma smiled as she could barely make out the way he tried to ignore them._

__

__

_Quiet kid. Not up to garnering attention. Especially from the group that seemed so interested in getting him to talk._

__

__

_It wasn't her business. It wasn't supposed to be her business. Didn't she get into enough trouble on her own without having to add someone else's troubles to it? Wouldn't William and Bethany just love that?_

__

__

_But it was the further taunting… Even over the countless conversations going on in the spacious lunch room, Emma could still make out the taunting voices. So when the kid's hand went up, his fingers curling and timidly moving behind his ear to lightly stroke... When Brian's hand was instantly there to flick away…._

__

__

_Emma rolled her eyes and at the same moment she found herself pushing herself up to a standing position._

__

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_Oh, yes! Will and Beth were just going to love this!_

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_They were only a table away…_

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_Emma watched as the kid pushed himself away from Brian, only to find himself shoulder to shoulder with just another troublemaker to his right._

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_"Hey!"_

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_Brian's head turned up at her voice._

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_"What?" Those eyes narrowed on her._

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_She'd known him for two years. She'd known him since moving into the Swans' home had put her in this school district. She never liked him, probably never would._

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_"Move." Emma's voice was firm as she placed a hand to his shoulder. Helping him with her command, she gave him a shove._

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_"This isn't your table, Emma."_

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_"This isn't your table," she reminded him, her face scrunching at his ridiculous statement._

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_She saw the reluctance and resistance in giving in. It took another second before he finally pushed himself not over, but up._

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_Emma ignored whatever was going over her head. She heard, rather than saw, how the rest of Brian's little group began to follow his lead. Her eyes, instead, slid over to look at the new kid._

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_She came in contact with his profile. He was looking down at the lunch tray and whatever was on it. It almost made her smile, because the quiet act wasn't going to get him far not here._

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_"So you've made a friend now?"_

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_Brian's taunting voice came close to her ear. Was that supposed to be a shot at her or the boy who sat next to her?_

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_"It's none of your business." She threw her eyes up to meet his. "Why don't you stop being a jerk? Or, at least, go be a jerk somewhere else."_

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_Again, she turned back to see the quiet kid. Was that… a hint of an upturned lip she could make out?_

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_Emma ignored the words slipping out of any of the jerks' mouths. She was only appreciative that they all began to slip away._

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_A minute. Maybe she'd sit there for about a minute. He was quiet, the transplant. She was still in the mood for her banana that was a table behind her…_

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_"Don't pay attention to them." Her attempt at encouragement fell flat, even to herself. Ignoring them was exactly what he'd been doing. "At least, don't let them start harassing you." She turned back to look at him and got that profile again._

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_"No worries." It came on the heels of him clearing his throat. Followed by… He looked up at her and she was met with somber and deep blue eyes._

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_She'd never… been this close to him. There was something about those eyes. Something about that face._

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_Emma's eyes blinked on him._

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_"It's a part of being the new guy… the new kid. All of that."_

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_She liked his accent. She liked that… he was… different. Although being different wasn't always an easy thing. She could attest to that._

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_"I get it." Emma shrugged at the thought of just how much she got it. "I've been there. Too many times to count."_

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_He returned that blink, once, twice, three times. She was also able to catch the hint of reddening in his cheeks and neck. Then he turned, his attention falling back on the table._

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_He was shy. That was interesting! It wasn't only the thought of being ambushed by the group of guys whose intentions could only be bad. He didn't seem to be willing to say much to even her. He could even be… a challenge._

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_"We… have some classes together," Emma told him quickly._

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_His shoulder lifted the merest of inches._

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_"I'm Emma." She tried again. To engage him. This shy guy. Her own life story had made her choose loner status. She wondered what his story was that had made him quite shy._

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_He was slower to tilt his head back towards her. His eyes, wide open, searched her face._

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_"I'm… Killian," he finally answered quietly. Admitting it, telling her his name, seemed to be the catalyst for the tips of his ears to turn red._

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_Emma almost laughed at that fact, but she didn't. Instead, she focused on what he'd shared with her._

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_"Killian." She tilted her head, her eyes trying to keep hold on his without him turning away. "Well, it's nice to meet you."_

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_His lips pursed together and he lifted that same shoulder._

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_"It's… nice to meet… you, too. And…" Those eyes rose, searching across the span of the cafeteria. "Thanks for the help."_

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****

The ship, departing for America, would be leaving port within the next half hour. As far as Killian was able to discern, from the mounds of paperwork, it would be one more voyage that went off without a hitch.

Boston was going to be one of the last stops that the ship would be making. An exchange of the final load of exports would be replaced with the imports that would make their way back to London.

Killian felt the set of his jaw as he looked out across the open water. There was a strong pull about seeing the massive and industrialized ships in wait of another trip to somewhere far far away. The cargo always varied. The destination could be practically anywhere in the world. What a thought! What a… dream it must be to be on that end of things. Not that he knew much of it. No... His eyes went on a search across the dock and toward the horizon. His eyes settled on what was beyond the here and now.

He loved the scent that perfumed the air. It was quite different on this side than it was on the top floor of English Multimodal International Deliveries. There was a bite and a freshness in the air that couldn't compare to any single room of any building that was held as an office for the company. Yet, the positions held by the laborers garnered none of the prestige that other positions had. At least, it didn't seem that way.

"Killian! Oi! Killian!"

He heard his name over the white noise of shipping. He was quick to turn around, searching out the familiar voice.

Bobby Emerson's steps were nimble as he seemed to bound over towards him. There was a raise of his brow that could be seen disappearing under the mop of brown curls hanging over his forehead. The young lad looked harried, rushing towards him.

"I've been looking all over for you, mate."

Bobby's confession made him swallow hard. There would be only one reason that he would be there looking for him.

"Donovan's been trying to ring you, Killian." His eyes traveled down the length of Killian as he stood in front of him. "Why… haven't you answered his calls?"

Killian's hands opened wide as they went to pat down the pockets of his pants. He hit gold with his back pocket, pulling the mobile from his pocket.

"He's been trying to call me?" The question was innocent enough as he looked at the darkened screen. Turning the mobile over in his hand, he began to shake his head. "Looks to have lost all its life." He looked up just in time to see Bobby's hand thrusting out in front of him, the mobile looking insistent of being taken.

"No matter. He's still needs to talk to you." Bobby lifted his shoulder in a quick shrug. "He is insisting on seeing you, to be frank with you, Killian."

The grimace was so second-nature that he couldn't contain it. Clenching his jaw, he held out his hand for the mobile while simultaneously slipping his own back into his pocket.

"Is that what he's going to say?" His eyes fell on Bobby's. "To get my arse to his office for another… business meeting?"

Those eyebrows lifted again. "Or something close to that effect."

Killian felt the hard swallow as he shook his head. It took everything within him to not thrust his fingers through his hair in frustration. All he needed was a break. He wasn't even asking for time away from the business, but time away from the office. He needed a break from everything that his father represented, as far as EMID.

"How about you let him know that I'm on my way?" Without even glancing down at the mobile, he pressed it back into the young lad's own hand. There was no point in talking to his father on the phone. Not when Donovan had a meeting already set in motion.

He saw the shock in his wide eyes and the sudden slack of his jaw.

"You… you want….me to-"

"I'll be no longer than a half hour," Killian murmured, cutting off the blubbering. "I only need to finish with the invoices. Then… then I'll be right over to his office."

"But-"

"Right over." Lifting his own brow, Killian took a step back.

He appreciated the look of despair on Bobby's face only because it was accompanied with silent approval. The fear of failing to deliver on his boss' orders could be seen in the young man's face. Failing Donovan? That was never something that went over well for anyone who worked under Donovan Jones. No matter what the outcome would be for Bobby, Killian's decision wasn't going to be changed.

"I'll see you later." With a final nod, Killian turned on his heel and began to walk away.

With every passing second, his feet fell all the quicker over the pavement. Thirty minutes. He'd given himself a half hour to prepare himself for another face-to-face with his father on the topic of business. Well…

The horizon drew his attention again. A beautiful skyline as the backdrop to the open water. Then again, how was that supposed to compare to multi-level buildings that housed the business end that made this all possible?

Killian threw a quick look over his shoulder. Bobby had shuffled back from the direction he'd come from. He would go and deliver the message that Killian had sent him with.

He took in a deep and steadying breath, finally letting his steps slow down in pace. His hand fell to his back pocket, grabbing the mobile once again. He found the power button and pressed it before it even reached around to the front.

An impromptu meeting with his father. Killian stared down at the darkened screen. Of course he had known he wouldn't be able to avoid him for the entire day. He just wished that he'd made it a little longer. It shouldn't have come to him as such a surprise that his father had tracked him down. It was the reason for it that made Killian begin to doubt the next half hour.

Thoughts of the meeting sent a need coursing through his body. There was one voice he wanted to hear, one voice that would ease the anxiety that also ran through him. That voice belonged to his best friend. Hearing her voice now would be able to tame the increasing ache that settled in his chest. It was a task that she had handled well since they were just kids.

The mobile came to life in his hands, buzzing and vibrating the entire time. Its life also signified the connection he could now possibly have with his father again. Well, he couldn't shut him off for the entire work day, now could he? When the home screen finally appeared, it informed him of the time. It also informed him that Emma wouldn't quite be up at the moment.

Bloody time zones…

The minutes were going to tick away though, leaving her closer. Leaving his father closer as well.

Killian's eyes darted across the screen, his finger sliding across until he reached her text history. A smile finally came to him as he typed in a new message. In less than an hour, she would be waking up.

****

He tried not to slouch in the seat. He tried to give as much respect as he was given. It -didn't make the ill at ease feeling go away.

Donovan Jones was an unlikable man. Killian would never go so far as to even think that because he loved his father. Then why the cantankerous relationship between father and son when it came to business? Maybe that was a better question.

He was also a good father. A father who took stock in his two sons, but that hadn't stopped him from needing to have them follow in his footsteps. It hadn't stopped the need to drive them both to the top of success. So, what happens when one son isn't as passionate about the ideas of business ventures? What happens when one son takes a little longer to blossom and grow under the thumb of such persistence and high expectations?

What happens is that one son tries his damndest to not close in on himself. He tries as hard as possible to be, at least, the fraction of the man he was supposed to be.

Trying to come up with a reason for his resistance wasn't an easy thing to do. Perhaps it was because business had been so ingrained into all of their lives. It wasn't a business that Donovan had begun with his own two hands. It was a business that he'd found his place during the earlier part of its conception. He'd dedicated so much of his life to it, it was a natural progression that he'd brought his sons aboard as well. No matter what outside interest they may have had. Perhaps that's why Killian rebelled, even on such a small scale. He was here, he was good at his job, and he worked to successful in it. It just would never be his passion. It would always be… just a job.

Killian noticed the path his thoughts were on traveling down. He turned his gaze up at his father. A phone call was holding Donovan's attention, his chair turned askew from the desk. The conversation was clearly a business call. The realization made him want to twist in his own seat. Why had he been summoned?

His eyes turned towards the window that took up practically an entire wall. The city would soon be cast under a dreary and raining sky. He wondered if he should take that as a warning.

Before he had time to stop it, a sigh fell from his lips. The sound was followed by the squeal of his father's chair, twisting back to the front. Killian turned his eyes back to the older man to find that he was already looking at him.

He sat up in his seat, raising an eyebrow at him.

Donovan raised one finger.

"Listen, Meyers, Killian is here." His father sat up a bit straighter himself. "I will have to finish this with you at a later time."

Killian watched with faint interest as the conversation came to a close. It meant that it was almost time. Time to find out just what was it that his father needed to say to him.

The goodbyes were brief. He left the receiver fall softly from his fingertips and onto the hook. Then, blue eyes met the matching pair from the other side of the desk.

"You wanted to talk to me, Dad?"

He tipped his chin up and those eyes held firm. "I think it's a conversation that has sorely been needed, Killian." His voice matched the sternness of his posture as he sat very straight and still.

It wasn't always like this. Their relationship wasn't always full of turmoil and misunderstanding. It was the business end of things. The issue with that was… business took up a lot of their lives.

Donovan Jones may not have been owner and proprietor of the business he'd dedicated his life to. That didn't matter, though, because he had climbed the ladder of success all the way to the top. He had also secured his sons' futures by leading them both down that same path.

Killian didn't give in to the need to swallow. Instead, his eyes widened on the man across from him.

"What is it that you'd like to discuss?"

"Your future, Killian."

Those words made him want to give in to the worry. He didn't want to have the conversation that lead his father into telling him that it was time to take his own place in a higher position in the company. He didn't want to hear that he was wasting all of his talents and that he was spending too much time on the wrong end of the line. He didn't want to hear that he was not putting all those years of education, not to mention grooming, to better use.

"What about my…" It was the change in those eyes that were staring at him expectantly that made Killian pause. It was the look of business and no room for utter BS that made him go silent.

"Where have you been the majority of today?" Donovan asked quietly.

It was willpower that made his gaze not stray.

"For the majority of the day… I've been tending to business down at the dock," he answered firmly.

"Then you haven't been here?"

How long would his willpower sustain him? "No, sir."

There was now a careful gaze shared between the two. A moment of silence where he knew his father's mind was twisting and turning. A moment where he worried about the consequences of those thoughts.

"There's been a strong need for some guidance at another branch of the company," Donovan finally began again. "Guidance that your education would be valuable in its use."

Numbers and calculations and the such….

"Another branch?" Because that was the real key to what he'd said. There were branches and ports in and around the whole of England. EMID was transcontinental, and only growing. So…

"Are you telling me that you want to… transfer me out of the place where I not only began, but where you also got your start?"

"It's not about that." It was almost a grumble as the older man flicked his wrist out in the air. "It's about what's best for you and where you can get your feet wet."

Killian felt his eyes widen on him again. "And where would that be, Father?" His shoulder lifted in a shrug. "Where is my expertise needed, if not here at your side?"

"If only, Killian…."

Was he that big of a disappointment in his father's eyes?

"I want you to head to America...:"

"America?" _America. ___

"I want you to go to Boston and work under your brother."

America. Boston. Liam… and Emma.

His smile was quick and sudden, unable to be contained.

"How does that sound to you?" Donovan asked, his voice a deep grumble. "Liam is poised to take a higher position in the company down in that branch. He could use someone with your skills at his side to improve a few different areas on the business end over there."

Why though? What was the reason why he wanted to send him away?

It didn't matter. Not really. Not when his father was offering him a fresh start. A fresh start that was also familiar.

"How long before this is to take place?" he asked quietly, now holding in a frown.

Donovan's chin lifted the merest fraction. "Hopefully, within a month's time."

Killian was slow to nod, his mind already racing. His ties to London were, for all intents and purposes, solely his job and his parents. He had not made any other connections that would stop him from going back. In all honesty, even Elizabeth and the relationship they sometimes had would not be a factor in leaving.

America- Boston- had been his home for the very formative years of fourteen to eighteen He had experienced what American high school had been. That had been a stark contrast to the education he'd received here. College would have been an interesting venture as well. It hadn't come to that, because business had called them back home at that time.

Only four years there. Yet it had made a lasting impression on him. It had changed his being. She… Emma had changed his being.

"A month's time?" His eyes clashed with his father's again.

There was a single nod that came from the older man. "One month."

One month. That was all the time his father was giving him to separate themselves from one another. Some thirty days before that bond would be forever changed.

Killian returned the nod as he tried not to dissect the reason for it. "Fine. I'll go back to America."

****

She'd sent her reply message within minutes of waking up.

**1:07 p.m.**

****

****

_I'm wondering if this is going to be one of those wine over Skype deals._

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She made him smile. She did that a lot. Had been doing that a lot over the last fifteen years.

Taking into account the current time, he knew that she was at work. He would hold off on the interesting news until he was able to really talk to her. That wouldn't be for some hours…

In those hours, he had a lot of business to take care of. A month was only thirty days. Thirty days wasn't a lot when speaking of a life-changing decision. Emma would have to wait. There were other pressing matters to attend to.


	4. Chapter 3

_The sound of her flipping through the pages of the textbook drew Killian's attention. Emma held her chin in one hand as she turned the pages. The look on her face was hard to read._

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_"I think I'm going to make you regret ever partnering up with me on this project." It was then that her eyes lifted from the book to meet his gaze, her hand lying still against the pages._

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_Killian almost smiled. "Why?"_

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_He'd known her just over three weeks. That was really only some twenty days or so, if he actually thought about it. It was odd having her sit there at his dining room table in his new house, in his new country. A country that he still found so confusing._

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_"You'll soon learn that I'm not the best when it comes to history," Emma told him with a sigh. "It's a subject that I don't seem to care much about. So this is probably one of those assignments that I would likely blow off."_

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_Killian raised an eyebrow to that. "Not much that could be done about it even if you had told me."_

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_Emma sat up straight in her chair, turning around to fully face him._

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_"It's the loner thing, huh?"_

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_He did smile then. Emma Swan was a loner. Is that what drew her to him?_

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_"Or…" A smile spread across her face as she lifted her own eyebrow. "Is it the shy guy thing?"_

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_Killian shook his head, his attention falling back down on his own book in front of him._

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_"No one else…."_

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_"Okay, we'll stick with the loner deal." The teasing could be heard in her voice. "Which, I really don't mind. I understand."_

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_Killian didn't look back at her. His focus stayed on that book, on getting through the reading that was going to help with the impending project. He didn't look at her, but it was difficult to not think about their similarities. At least in the school setting…_

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_Even in the few weeks that they'd known each other, she was able to share a few things about herself. Like the fact that she was a fairly recently adopted. That was an interesting bit of information. It would be hard not to see how that affected the person that she was. There was a bit of a tough outer shell. But how could he ever feel negatively about that? After how they met, there wasn't a possibility for that._

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_Maybe it was that tough outer shell that had made her come to his rescue that first day. Not that he would have ever admitted to needing the help._

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_Had he needed help? Well, it had only been a week… It wasn't surprising that his quiet nature had caught the attention of those boys. No, it wasn't a surprise at all._

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_Killian looked back up at the girl who had come to his rescue. Emma's attention was back on her own book. This time, she actually seemed to be reading a passage._

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_"I'm…" He didn't mean to pause, didn't mean to take a moment to clear his throat._

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_Emma's glance up was quick and sudden. It made him feel as if the 'shy' attribute would be far better than 'loner' attribute._

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_"What?" Her smile was small, her green eyes curious._

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_Killian shrugged. "I'm glad we are-"_

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_It was the sound of tapping shoes that gave him pause. It was his turn to lift his eyes, being guided towards the sound that was coming from the direction of the living room. He noticed her first. It didn't stop his mother from reacting first._

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_"Killian?" She stopped where she stood the moment he and Emma came into view, no doubt._

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_His gaze slid back over to Emma's just in time to see her fully turn around in her chair._

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_"Who is-"_

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_It was the surprise in his mum's voice and the hint of a smile on her face that made nervousness creep throughout his body._

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_"Oh, that's right!" Her hands came together as she split her bright gaze on the pair of them._

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_"Mum, this is Emma," he cut in before she had the chance to say whatever she was about to say._

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_"Mum…"_

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_He ignored Emma's whispered mock impression from beside him and continued speaking to his mum. "I told you that-"_

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_Her shoulder went up in a nonchalant shrug. "Well, you actually said-"_

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_"Hi, Mrs. Jones." It was a bubbly and bright greeting that came from beside him._

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_Killian felt himself turning a bright red. It was inescapable, the feeling of embarrassment that was washing over him._

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_"Hello!" She said it too sweetly. The smile on her face was too bright. The happiness radiating from her all too apparent._

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_The embarrassment wasn't going anywhere anytime soon…_

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_"You didn't say..." His mum turned those bright eyes on him. "Killian."_

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_"Mum?"_

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_"Mum…"_

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_Killian wanted to bury himself under every single one of those books that were lying on the table behind him._

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_"History project, yes?" Her eyes blinked at them both. "I see that you have everything about and are preparing for it."_

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_Emma was one person. But she was also the only person his mum had seen him share any kind of conversation with or… or anything at all, in the entire time that they'd stepped foot on American soil. So…. so Killian got it. It didn't make the matter at hand any less embarrassing._

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_"Yes," he finally answered after a short pause. He looked up at her pleadingly, hoping for the awkward encounter to just be over and done with._

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_"Then I'll leave you to it." Her voice was soft, but the smile spoke more of her current state. "Emma?"_

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_Maybe hiding under the table would do…_

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_"Yeah, Mrs. Jones?"_

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_Killian refused to look at the exchange._

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_"It's really nice to meet a new friend of Killian's. Maybe… maybe you can join us for dinner, if you are still here?"_

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_"Um… thanks. Thank you, Mrs. Jones."_

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_Killian could feel the heat warming his cheeks and his neck._

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_"That sounds lovely." Still too sweet. "Killian?"_

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_He sighed inwardly as he finally looked back at her._

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_"Yes… yes?" Emma would not snicker at him this time._

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_"Let me know if you need anything at all," she told him with a stiff nod. "I'll be around if you need me."_

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_Killian answer came in the form of a bob of his head. As he listened to her exit from the dining room, all taps from her heels, he finally turned back around to the table._

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_"What are you…" He stopped himself from asking the question. It was going to be something smart coming from her mouth, he knew it instinctively. "I know you're going…"_

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_"Your mom seems really nice, Killian."_

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_His eyes focused on hers. The sincerity? He hadn't expected the sincerity that he found there. And then it dawned on him: orphan. Family would be something different, wouldn't it?_

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_"She's nice," Killian whispered. His gaze fell back on the book in front of him._

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_History. Homework. Project. Partners._

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_"Her accent is just as adorable as yours, too!" Emma gushed._

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_Adorable? His accent was adorable?_

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_Killian threw her a side-glance and no words to go along with it. Utter silence. It didn't stop her giggle though. Her fit of giggles. At his expense._

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Red. His hand clawed at his neck, knowing. Red.

_  
_

****

"What is a month, Killian?"

He didn't absolutely love confrontation. This was one of those moments where he could have done without it completely.

Killian blinked his eyes as he ignored Elizabeth's face, knowing exactly what he would find there. It would be a look of utter disbelief. It would be a look of anger, towards him, because of what he'd just told her. Instead of looking at her, he continued to move about the living room. There was much to do and he didn't have that much time.

It should have been Emma first…

No…. No, it should have been Elizabeth.

The text that he'd sent Emma must not have been seen yet, because he was sure she would have texted him right back. He'd sent it over an hour ago. That would have made it three o'clock her time. She was still working and unavailable. Unless she had seen it and had wanted to wait to contact him when she had more free time to grill him. That thought put a smile…

"How can he just decide this for you? Decide that you have to uproot everything in your life and move to a whole other continent?"

Elizabeth's question jolted him back into the firestorm. His eyes slanted down to find her feet. He held that gaze for only a moment before he moved towards the couch. The laptop sat on one of the cushions, all ready for his use.

"Maybe it's a good decision for me, Elizabeth." Killian forced his eyes up to meet hers.

She was only some feet away from him. Her arms crossed over her chest and her own blue eyes struck down on his. Her almost too thick and too wild brown curls framed her face, gently swaying as she shook her head.

"So… what about us, Killian?" The anger was soon replaced with sadness in those eyes.

He… understood. He truly did.

"If we were married, would Donovan still feel the need to do what he is doing?"

That question called for him to hold in a multitude of physical reactions that he could have had. Married?

They were about as on-again, off-again as any two people could be. The fact that she had brought up marriage was such an odd and surprising occurrence. There wasn't any one answer he could give that could explain why their relationship was the way it was. It wasn't as if he didn't have love for her, and hadn't had love for her over the last four years. It wasn't that in the least.

Maybe it was…. something that was fundamentally missing. He couldn't define it. He couldn't say what it was. But…

"Elizabeth, we're… not." Killian shook his head slowly. "We've never talked about anything… like that."

"So…" Her eyes widened on him, her hands slipping down to her sides. "So you have no qualms about leaving?" Her stance hardened, leaning forward and placing all her weight on one foot. "You want to leave, without me at your side?"

It wasn't just the way her voice broke at certain parts of that question. It wasn't just the visible effort to keep from showing too many of her thoughts and feelings. It was the totality of everything that was Elizabeth while she was in front of him.

Killian's mouth opened involuntarily, because…. what was he supposed to say to that?

"You wanted to come with me?" His eyes blinked up at her, amazed by where the conversation was leading.

"The question is if you want me to." There was now a frown covering her face. "We've been dating for years now. Has it never crossed…?"

It was the ring of his phone that made her pause. It was the ring of his phone that made him slip his hand into his pants pocket.

The text was from Emma. It was difficult to hold in the smile, but he understood propriety.

"Sorry about that, love." The apology was muttered as he tried to not put too much stock in Emma's _What the hell is going on, Killian? Are you serious? _He tried not to be impatient about getting to actually talk to her. Instead, he began to type.__

"Emma?"

He was supposed to look up from the phone. He knew that as well…

**_I will text you as soon as I can!_ **

**__**

**__**

"It's Emma, isn't it?" Her voice was marked with accusation.

"I'm sorry." Killian did look back up at her then, coming in contact with the lowered eyelashes, pursed lips, and the tilt of her head. He slipped the phone back into his pocket as his mind began to run. "Elizabeth?"

"Are you ending things between us, Killian?" Her voice was soft, but strong. "Has it seriously never crossed your mind that one of these days you would get down on one knee and ask me to marry you?"

The attack was warranted. It didn't make it easy though.

"Four years!" The disbelief in her eyes accompanied those firm steps she took towards him. "You're nearly thirty years old, and it never entered your mind that this would be our next step?"

_Thirty years old and not yet married…._

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It should not have conjured up thoughts of two young teenagers and their silly pact. What it should have done was brought the memories of an up and down, on and off, relationship between him and the woman in front of him.

Killian felt the need to swallow and did so. He was slow to get to his feet, standing tall.

"I'm sure it has crossed my mind," he murmured thickly.

"Just… not enough for you to go through with it?" Her eyes stared at him imploringly. Waiting…

"Elizabeth…"

He didn't know when it had turned into this type of conversation. He didn't know when it had become so hostile. But… he understood. Was he supposed to want all the things that she now apparently wanted? After all this time, was he supposed to now want the happily ever after with her?

"My father is sending me to Boston." His voice was quiet, yet firm. "I am leaving because…. You know, don't you?" The question made him frown. It was a question to the woman who was questioning him about his desires to spend a lifetime together. So…. she should know.

Maybe the pain was too fresh, the idea of losing each other…

"Killian…"

"He wants things from me and he is pushing me towards them." Killian shook his head. "Staying here, under his thumb, is only hurting my relationship with him. I have known that for a long time, but never knew what to do about it." His hand came up to slowly rub his suddenly tense jaw. "Taking business out of the equation, we have a fairly good relationship. But… here…. here, the business will always be between us."

It wasn't that the four years hadn't meant anything. It had. It did. But…

Killian's eyes roamed over the figure of the woman who had played a part in his adult life.

He didn't want to be married to her. He loved her, but…

Maybe she saw it in the exact second that he did. Maybe that was why she shook her head, the loose curls covering parts of her face.

"So you're leaving," she concluded softly. "That is… without me. And… this is… now finally over. For good."

She wasn't supposed to be some weight that he'd been holding up. So why did it feel as if there was some sort of pressure alleviating itself from his body?

"Elizabeth-"

"Four. Years. Killian." Where he'd felt the lift of weight from his body, it looked as if all that weight fell upon her now instead.

"Should I apologize?"

"You don't think that you have any obligations to do even that at least?"

Her eyes…

"I apologize for hurting you due to the fact that I have to do something for my own sanity." It was a whisper that was accompanied by a stark and clear stare.

He watched as her mouth moved about in silence. She shook her head, her eyelashes fluttering.

"I'm sure that it was made in the most sincerest of ways, Killian." She shook her head again, this time turning. "I'll come back for my belongings at another time." Her head tilted back in his direction. "It seems as if I have a month to do so."

Killian held his breath as he watched her walk towards his door. It wasn't supposed to end that way. But… there was nothing else that could have happened.

Elizabeth Bancroft wasn't the one. She wasn't going to change the fact that he would not be married at the age of thirty.

****

"This is…" He could clearly hear the stark awe in amazement in her voice. "This is unbelievable."

"It's a bit surprising, to say the least." Killian couldn't contain the smile from lighting up his face. His back fell into the couch, bringing the rest of his body to lay flat against the length of it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Emma's voice was soft in his ear over the phone.

The question made him pause for just a moment. He'd had nearly a whole day to think it all over.

"I'm sure that I want to do this," he finally murmured into the phone.

He could only imagine her face. He could only imagine what was going on inside her head.

"It's been a long time, Killian." Her voice stayed soft as she spoke to him. "High school graduation was a long time ago."

"Being on the same continent as my brother and my best friend for an extended period of time has been a long time coming."

"Being out from under Donovan has been even longer," Emma remarked.

Killian smiled. It didn't make him feel attacked. It wasn't meant to be snide. She said it because… she knew him. She had always known him.

"Well, that was a driving force." His eyes planted on some indistinguishable spot of the ceiling above him. "For me, as well as him I would imagine."

For a moment, the line went silent. But it was a comfortable silence. A quietness that probably had that both in deep thought.

America meant… many opportunities. Already knowing that there was a time frame in which he could see the light at the end of the tunnel made breathing a little easier. America meant a fresh start. He hadn't realized how much he wanted that until it was in his grasp.

"I feel like I should ask." The softness of Emma's voice was also laced with care this time.

"Go ahead." He wondered if he already knew what she was going to say...

Her sigh was soft. "Elizabeth?"

So he did know what she was going to ask…

Killian closed his eyes and held his breath for just a second. "Off again." He could barely make out the hmm from her end. "She... hinted around to some things."

"Four years?"

"Something like that." The way she said it was completely different than the way Elizabeth had said it earlier. Somehow… it made him smile again.

There was another pause. There was just a moment where they were both equally quiet. So what was she thinking this time?

"Is it going to be worth it, Killian?" Emma sighed with that. "You're gaining a lot, but aren't you losing some things as well?"

His eyes opened back onto the ceiling.

"The winnings outweigh the losses, I'm positive," he murmured in answer. It was true. He had not looked forward to anything as much as he did this move.

"Then I guess it's okay for me to be pretty excited." The slight giddiness in her voice was easily detected.

"I'm excited." Killian's shoulder lifted in a shrug. "Can't possibly go wrong with one time zone."

"Skype can take a break when you take me out for a beer."

It all sounded… really good.

"One month."

"It'll go really fast, Killian."

"I'm looking forward to the day."


	5. Chapter 4

_"Someone's on the porch."_

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_"It looks like…"_

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_Emma tore her eyes from the new magazine that she'd just gotten so that she could see what had gotten the Swans' attention. Out of her window in the backseat of the car, she strained her eyes to see who it could be through the rain._

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_Her smile was small as she made out the figure. It was raining cats and dogs outside and Killian Jones stood on her front porch, seemingly waiting… for her._

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_"It's for you, Emma."_

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_She turned her attention to the front seat in time to see Bethany twist around from the passenger seat. She was all smiles herself. Of course she was._

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_"He said he would help me with this math thing."_

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_"Oh." Bethany's eyebrows lifted in what could be considered as surprise._

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_Oh… God, perhaps…. Emma contained the need to roll her eyes. Instead, she turned her attention back to her window. Back to him._

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_He was just a little early. She had told him two o'clock because she knew that the Swans were going to want her to go grocery shopping with them. So…. two o'clock. Not a quarter to two._

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_Emma threw the magazine down on the seat beside her. With a swift turn, she placed both hands on the door handle, gripping at it as William swung the car into the driveway._

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_"He's the sweetest boy I've ever met."_

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_That did it. Emma rolled her eyes at the way Bethany gushed over him. He was just a boy. Another boy. A boy who happened to be her best friend._

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_The car finally came to a complete stop. She listened to the way William shifted the gear into park, and, thankfully, pulled at the door handle._

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_The rain was pouring down in a steady rhythm. Only offering Killian the briefest of smiles, her fingertips grasped at her hood from behind her._

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_The pop of the trunk sounded as it popped open._

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_She watched as, hoodless himself, Killian climbed down the steps of the porch. He would be drenched, but she knew exactly what brought him forward._

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_"Hey." His smile was slightly larger than her own as he walked passed her._

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_He was followed by Bethany, who had slipped out of the car on the passenger's side, just like Emma._

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_"Oh, Killian, you really don't have to help with the bags." She offered Emma a smile of her own, her hand slipping over Emma's and holding there for a moment._

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_"No worries, Mrs. Swan." Three of the bags were hanging from his hands. "I'm glad to be of any help."_

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_Of course he was happy to help…_

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_Emma looked down at the hands covering her own just before Bethany had slipped away, moving closer to the trunk. Bethany's eyes were practically glowing with happiness as she looked at her._

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_It was an odd occurrence. One that Emma hadn't really expected. There was such ease and teasing that her… her mother was exhibiting. It was all because of… Well, Emma knew why._

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_She turned her head towards a moving Killian. His hands were full of bags as he came to stand next to her._

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_His eyes squinted- actually squinted- on her. "Are you going to help as well?"_

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_"With family duties?" Emma lifted her chin just slightly as she pushed at his arm, moving him on his way. "Of course I am."_

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_This time, he grinned. "Okay then." With a nod of his ever-dampening head, he continued back on his way towards the house._

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_"The sweetest ever…"_

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_It was said in Bethany's sing-song voice. When Emma turned back towards the trunk, where both of her... her parents stood, she saw the aloofness on her face._

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_"You should tell him," Emma said, looking up at her. "I love when he goes all red with embarrassment. Now that's cute."_

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_Bethany only smiled wider and came even closer to Emma._

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_"I bet it's the cutest thing in the world."_

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_Emma should have expected that. She really should have._

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_It was so easy to see that they both thought that Killian had been a good influence on her. It was easy to see that they thought she had picked a good kid as her best friend. The fact that she had a boy as a best friend had never come up. Nor did they ever try to keep them apart. Quite the opposite, really…._

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_Emma reached out her hand to take the bags that Bethany now held. She accepted them without a problem, happy to escape from the too-happy faces._

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_"Okay, up to the house, Emma. It's pouring out here." Another gentle hand came to guide her around, pointing her towards the path._

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_It was something else that she was fine with. Anyway, Killian was on the porch. Waiting for her._

_  
_

****

"Why do I get the impression that this is going to immobilize any of what little free time you actually have?"

Emma looked over at her friend, Ruby, to see that her gaze was transfixed on the rack on zero to three months baby clothes. She felt her eyebrow go up in stark surprise.

"Um… I think my free time has been the least immobilized out of the three of us," she reminded her best friend. "Mary Margaret is going to have a baby in six months. How much free time do you see her having?"

Ruby was quick to turn around to her, a smile lighting her face. "Well, we still have a few months before that happens."

"And what about you? Married life seems to agree with you, as well." Emma moved then, away from one rack of tiny things to one that had slightly less tiny things on it. "I don't want to complain or anything, but… if someone gets to, I think it would be me." She kept her smile in as she looked back at her friend.

College had been a stark contrast to high school- or all those years before even that. In college, Emma had flourished. She had become the person that…. that Killian always said she could be. It had been easier to make friends. It had been easier to open herself up to other people. She had never been the girl who got along well with other girls. That had changed with Ruby and Mary Margaret.

It had been a blow to see Killian leave after graduation. It had been hard to let go of her best friend. But she had made other connections that proved to be invaluable. She had her girls.

They were both two years older than Emma. They were both ahead of Emma when it came to most things. But it hadn't stopped the instant connection they shared.

Then they went ahead and grew up. College boyfriends had turned into husbands, eventually. And how could she not mention the reason they were in the store just now? Mary Margaret was pregnant with her first child. So… just how long was it going to be before Ruby was on that same path?

"We are not growing apart, are we?" Ruby asked teasingly.

"No." Emma shook her head. "You guys are just continuing that trend of leaving me behind."

Ruby's mouth fell open at Emma's teasing back. With bright eyes, she moved away from the clothes and over towards Emma.

"Oh, Emma."

It made her laugh, but she went willingly into the outstretched arms of her friend.

"Maybe it's a good thing that Killian is on his way back then. He can pick up the slack that your girlfriends are leaving."

He was coming back…

She didn't even mind the butterflies that the thought gave her. Killian was coming back. More than a decade had passed since their best friend status had them so close together. Ruby and Mary Margaret were her best friends, but… her friendship with Killian was something else. Something quite special.

"Maybe he can."

Was it silly to be this excited? There were circumstances that was bringing him back to Boston. It was not so much his initial decision as much as it was his father's. The fact that he'd agreed to it so easily...

But he seemed happy. Even when he was giving up so much, he had seemed happy at the prospect of coming back. So… so maybe it was okay to be really happy about it.

"Hm, that smile…."

Emma looked up at Ruby, her eyes imploring at the mischievous look that crossed her face. Her fingers came up to press against her lips, feeling the upturn of her lips that was there.

"How long has it been since he's been to visit?" Ruby's question was quiet as she went back to gloss over baby things. "I know it's been years."

Vacations had been few and far between…

"More than four years. Probably… closer to five."

Ruby's gaze fell back on hers. "That is amazing." She was quick to shake her head. "Your friendship is amazing. To have kept in contact through on phone calls, text messages, and video chatting."

"Skype has been a wonderful thing," Emma murmured, remembering the dark days before video chatting. Seeing him, visibly seeing him, had helped a lot over the years. "I couldn't see my life without Killian. That's why… I am thrilled to have him come back." Her eyes connected with Ruby's. "To stay. Not just a short visit, but to stay." It did make her a bit giddy. But how could it not? Friendships that withstood the test of time should make one giddy.

"I'm happy for the both of you." There was still a hint of teasing in Ruby's voice. But…

There was a sense of happiness that was already filling Emma up. The closer it came to the date of his flight, the happier she became.

"How about this," Ruby gushed.

Emma looked up to see the the gush was warranted. Her smile spread as she caught sight of the overalls that doubled as particular adorable chef monkey.

"Maybe unisex would be best," she suggested with a shrug. "We don't even know what she's having yet."

"Oh, Mary Margaret will have a boy." Ruby's confidence is what made her sling the outfit over her arm.

Emma held in her sigh as she watched her friend move on to another rack of clothes. It was something to see, something to behold. Happiness was all around her. Growth was all around her. The world was changing right in front of her. And she….

She couldn't complain about her own life in the least bit. She was happy as well. She had wonderful lifelong friends, she had a wonderful family, she had an amazing career that she was blossoming in. And she was getting Killian back. So… No, she wasn't jealous of the marriages and the babies that were also happening around her. Not in the least,because they were only enriching her own life.

"Well, just in case…" Emma sighed as she began to move towards more practical baby items other than clothes. "I think I will try to stock her up on the essentials."

****

**Boston, 12:03 a.m.**

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****

**London, 5:03 a.m.**

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_**Which one of us is the craziest?** _

_****_

_****_

_You_

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_**It's 5am there!** _

_****_

_****_

_It's midnight there._

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_You're coming off a long day._

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_**I want to disagree, but I can't.** _

_****_

_****_

_I'm keeping you up._

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_**In more ways than one. I'm excited.** _

_****_

_****_

_I'm excited, too, Emma._

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_**Nervous?** _

_****_

_****_

_A bit._

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_But I think I need this._

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_Anyway, the important elements are the same. The job. I know the city well enough. Liam is there. You._

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_**Well, no pressure there.** _

_****_

_****_

_I'm looking forward to it all. I hope that the elusiveness part of our friendship being over doesn't ruin your ability to endure me._

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_**We aren't a novelty thing.** _

_****_

_****_

_Two weeks_

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_**I can't wait** _

_****_

_****_

_Are you falling asleep on me?_

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_**Maybe a little…** _

_****_

_****_

_**Are you falling asleep on me?** _

_****_

_****_

_Perhaps…._

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_**Ok.** _

_****_

_****_

_**Skype me in my morning!** _

_****_

_****_

_I will._

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_Good night_

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_**Good morning…** _

_**  
** _

Emma tossed the phone down on the empty pillow on the other side of the bed, not even willing herself to place it on the charger. She rolled back over again, bringing the covers with her.

Her eyes closed instantly, feeling comfortable and tired all at the same time. It was easy falling asleep, a smile tugging on her lips as she drifted.


	6. Chapter 5

_Goodbye, London, England._

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It was the thought that crossed him mind as he pressed his hand over the window near his seat on the plane. It had been home. It had always been home, save those four years. And now…

There was a break in the clouds, he could see. The ocean looked rather gorgeous from underneath him. Ripples of gentle waves crashed against one another. It had been years since he had seen the world from this view. Nearly… nearly five. Almost five years since he'd been across the pond. This time… he was leaving for good.

Three faces came to his mind's eye suddenly. Killian pulled his gaze away from the window and settled for the view of the back of the seat that was in front of him. Of the three faces, it was the softness of his mother's that made his heart ache the most, the one that made his heart ache at all. He knew that she understood why his father had put his plan into action. She also understood why he had agreed to it. It didn't lessen the sadness when it came to actually saying goodbye. Killian was sure it wasn't easy to lose a second son to another country, but… She'd held him by the cheeks, looking him straight in the eyes. She'd smiled and told him that she loved him. She told him to look after his brother and to not worry because she had already told Liam to do the same. She had kissed him goodbye and hugged him tight before she whispered I love you one more time.

It warmed Killian's heart and made it ache equally as much in the same space of time. Killian would miss his mother. He would miss her… very much. His father… He would miss his father as well. That realization forced his head into his linked hands, lying close to his lap.

There was too much there for him to appreciate the true reasons behind his father's decision to have Killian leave for America. Even though he knew himself that a break was needed between them, it was still a decision that Donovan had made on his own. There was no need, in Donovan's mind, to even consult Killian. It hadn't been too difficult to let go of his one remaining son. No, it hadn't been difficult at all, had it? He didn't know how long it would be this back and forth thing with him. Perhaps once he was home in America, he would be able to let go of the pain of not living up to his father's expectations for him. Perhaps the business could truly be taken out of the equation and their relationship could blossom from thousands of miles apart from one another.

He was quick to lean back in his seat, the breath he had been holding was released. Killian glanced once again out the window of the plane.

Killian hadn't just left his parents behind, he remembered. It was one more person as well. He really didn't want his mind to go there. He refused to let his mind go back to Elizabeth. Except for… the way she looked when she left his flat just one last time. Her back was stiff, held up with a pride that she wouldn't lose. Everything that was part her had been packed up and shipped to her car. There was no last hug that day. No last kiss. There was just a stiff back walking out of his door. That was the way he chose to remember her. More importantly, it was the way she had chosen to remember him.

Kilian turned his entire body towards the window, peering out over the ocean once more. England was slowly escaping from view. His fingers fell over his mouth. His thoughts needed to turn away from his past and move on to his future. It was no longer time to contemplate those things that were now behind. Especially when there was so much ahead of him to look forward to.

****

The minutes were ticking by, adding up to hours and making the passing time count. Killian became even more grateful for how he'd planned the trip.

It had been about a fifty percent increase in price, but it was proving to be worth it. The thoughts of adjusting to a new time zone were difficult enough, but having to increase the time it would take to get from London to Boston by enduring layovers was just something he chose not to put himself through. So any amount of money was worth taking the nonstop flight.

The plane had taken off from the Heathrow just five minutes after six. A little more than a seven-hour ride would put him in an airport in Boston around eight thirty. That was eight thirty at night, when it would feel like one thirty in the morning.

Killian dragged a hand down the front of his face, an anxious feeling settled in his body. Speaking to Emma would have calmed some of it, but that would be impossible for some time yet. Over the past few hours, he'd tried to tamper down all the mixed feelings he'd gotten about leaving London. He didn't dwell over the need to speak to her though. In all honesty, the moment he was able to speak to her, it would be done in person or, at least, very close to it.

That wouldn't be until the morning, at the very least. That was Boston-time morning because he wouldn't be any good to her the moment he got off that plane. No. He would let Liam take him to his place. He would catch up with his brother and let him fill him in for what was in store for him.

Luckily, he wasn't expected to report for work until Monday. That meant he would have three full days and the night of his arrival to get settled in. That meant that he could get situated in the apartment Liam had already began the process of getting his belongings set up in. It also meant that…he'd be able to spend some time with Emma.

The thought put a smile on his face. The thought made the still three-plus hour plane ride bearable. It had been… years, literally years, since they were face to face. It had been years since he'd had his arms around her in a hug. She was his best friend, the best virtual friend he could have ever had. Now… it wouldn't be virtual anymore.

In all honesty, he couldn't wait for that moment to be a reality. Killian looked forward to the ease between them. Sometimes he wondered if that could truly be their reality. He wondered if he was supposed to be more nervous about reuniting with her, especially when there was no need to mark the calendar of one of their impending departures. He would be there to stay. They would have their best friend physically in their lives again.

Killian's smile was replaced suddenly by a yawn that cracked his jaw and had come out of nowhere. He brought both hands up to cover not only his mouth, but the rest of his face as well.

Soon enough, his those thoughts that were keeping him awake would hold some validity. He'd be home. He'd be starting a new chapter in his life, and it would be soon enough.

****

The first step off the airplane, the first inhalation of American air… He hadn't felt so free in a very long time.

"Killian!"

Even with the P.A. system booming over his head somewhere, Liam's voice was distinctive. It had him turning swiftly around, searching out the voice that belonged to a person he had not seen in for far too long.

"Killian." His brother's voice sounded closer this time, making him twist around in the opposite direction.

Before he was able to turn once more toward the familiar voice, Killian felt the clasp of the hand falling down on his shoulder.

"Liam." Killian's sudden smile was the most real reaction he could have had. It was his brother standing there before him.

The carry-on bag fell to the floor at his feet at the sight of Liam. It was immediate that they took each in an embrace, arms clasping around shoulders and holding tight.

If he had thought that the scent of air filling his lungs had made him feel as if he was home, it failed to compare to the feeling of being with his brother.

"I can't… God, Killian."

Hearing his voice made him smile. It was the mixture of his accent. Over the years, over the different stints and periods in which he'd lived here or there, had colored the actual accent.

"How was the flight?" Liam pulled back then, his eyes falling over every inch of his brother.

The need to do the same was too much. Killian had always looked up to his brother. There was a reason Liam was the prodigal son in their father's eyes. Liam had worked to make sure it had happened, to make sure he was successful in every task he undertook... even when it came to his younger brother. He had always been there for Killian. If anyone was there to lean on and learn from in their family, it was Liam.

"The flight?" He shook his head as he looked at the bright smile and eyes. He looked the same. After all the years apart, he still looked the same. "The flight was long."

Liam's eyebrow raised. "I hope not too tiresome?" He leaned down then, grabbing at the carry-on bag and slinging it over his shoulder.

"Pretty tiresome," Killian confessed easily.

Liam's smile grew as his hand clapped his brother's shoulder once more.

"Well, I wanted to make a stop before we make our way home. I'm hoping that you'll enjoy it."

It hadn't been the easiest thing to do, staying up for nearly the entire flight. Home sounded a lot better, but the sheer excitement that was exuding from Liam was a bit infectious. It gave Killian a moment (and he was sure it was going to only be a short moment) of boosted energy.

"I make no promises on how well I'll live up to your expectations, but fine."

The sudden attack of older brother onto younger brother was a bit surprising. Liam wrapped an arm around Killian's shoulder, pulling him immediately into him. He grabbed the back of Killian's head, bringing it down to crash into his shoulder.

"Good." The excitement was easily spotted in Liam's voice and in the way he held Killian. "Let's get your luggage so that we can be on our way."

****

"A bar?"

At least the sleepiness was wearing off, even if just a bit. Still...

"Your return to America seemed to call for something other than a sit-down quiet meal, brother." It came out as a sigh. There was also something about the ever-present twinkle. "Besides, I'm not the only one who wanted to greet you on your return."

Killian's eyes focused on Liam for just a moment, his thoughts already running away from him. "What do you mean?"

The twinkle was now accompanied by a grin splitting Liam's face.

Killian turned his gaze away from him this time, his eyes scanning the crowded bar. He felt the quickened heartbeat thumping away in his chest as he tried to make out any familiar faces at all. He also caught himself hoping beyond hope that it was Emma that had his brother happily bringing them there for the night. It had to have been the lack of sleep and the excitement of where he was that had made that thought come to mind. It wouldn't be Emma. It wouldn't...

Liam's hand fell to his arm, turning to steer him into a singular direction. He watched as his other hand went out to point towards the back of the bar, towards the table-lined wall.

"Some people came out to see you." There was a smile in his voice. That hand gave a small shove, pushing him on his way.

Killian's eyes squinted as he tried to make out any familiar faces and also not stumble over his own feet. He wasn't sure exactly which table was supposed to garner his attention.

Was it… Getting closer, he saw how one couple stood up from their table and turn towards the brothers.

"Robin?"

The beer in his hand was placed down on the table and he offered up a grin.

"It's been a long time." A friend of Liam's, but a good friend of Killian's as well.

"Killian!"

Her voice stopped him from moving closer to Robin.

"Didn't expect to see her, huh?" Liam murmured from behind him.

Killian froze where he stood, looking at the beautiful blonde for the first time in years was almost too much for him. She was a sight for sore eyes, already filling him with a need to wrap her up in a hug.

Killian dipped his head down in the direction of his brother.

"You didn't tell me." He turned back just in time to see her arms coming to embrace him. "Elsa."

They didn't come sweeter than her. They didn't come more genuine or have hearts as pure as Elsa did.

Killian hugged her tight in his arms, loving the sight of another familiar face in a land that he was eager to get reacquainted with again.

"Ah, let the man go," Robin grumble from beside them. "Sit down and have a beer."

Her embrace only tightened for a moment longer. Then, slipping away, she placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

"I can't believe you're actually here," she said with a shake of her head. It was her eyes. The purity and joy that he found there. Already it was feeling more and more like the right decision.

"It feels quite amazing, actually." Killian smiled as he moved over to the small table. Taking a seat next to Robin, the remaining seats were filled by Liam and Elsa.

He saw the look that passed between the pair as they sat. He could see the warmth that radiated from her face as she shared a smile with Liam. He could see the scrunch of Liam's eyes as he returned the smile.

When would the day come? They must have been dancing around the issue for as long as they'd known each other. Huh…

"So, are you ready to get down to business?" Robin asked as he slid a bottle Killian's way. "Are you ready to start answering to your big brother for a change?"

The bottle was cold under his hand as he lifted it from the table.

"It'll be a change from working for my father, I'm sure." His hand involuntarily tightened around the bottle as he lifted it to his lips.

"I'm glad to have you, Killian."

Liam's assuredness was comforting. It was easy to see that it was the truth.

"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Liam's nod was short, but full of understanding.

"Is that what you're most excited about, Killian?" Elsa asked, her hand coming to cup her chin. Her eyes were only on him now, awaiting his response.

"I think… I'm excited about… many things." Speaking of…

His hand slipped into his pocket, feeling his phone that lay just there.

She should have been his first call. Well, she would still be his first call. He should have at least texted her when he and Liam were on their way. It was still early enough. He still could have seen her. But, no…

Having Liam drag him out had only proven that the jet lag was beginning to set in. So… tomorrow would have to do. He would see her tomorrow.

Killian slipped his hand back out from his pocket, focusing his attention back to the people around him.

"So was this your decision or was it Donovan's?"

Killian turned his head towards Robin at that question.

"Let's just say that… it was his ingenious notion." He was quick to tip his bottle towards his friend before lifting it to his lips again. "But like I said, I'm happy to be here."

"You look tired." Elsa slipped closer to Liam, her hand finding his arm on the table.

Liam's eyes rose from the screen of his phone as he looked up at her. "You should have taken him home, don't you think?"

Liam's smile was small as his eyes searched over hers.

"I'm fine," Killian spoke up. "Time to adjust to the time change anyway."

Liam's phone was silent, and yet it was calling him to attention once again.

"Killian's right." His fingers were swiping across the screen. "I wasn't planning on keeping him out late anyway. Just long enough to get to see you guys. Have a beer. Relax for a while." His eyes fell once again on the phone.

It only made Killian want to grab at his own phone. It made him want to at least check for anything that he may have missed from the car ride over to here in the bar. His fingers dug back into his pocket, palming the phone in his hand.

"It's a major change."

Killian turned towards Robin's voice. It was instinctual, the pulling of his phone from its hiding place.

"You were a kid last time you were here. You've come across the pond on basically a whim." He nodded towards him. "That takes guts, Killian. No matter what it was that drove you to it."

"I guess I don't look at it that way," Killian muttered with a shrug. The phone fell screen up on the table in front of him as he turned away from Robin. "There weren't many other options, to be honest."

"Are you excited to see the apartment?" Elsa asked, her own voice sounding excited.

"Now _that _," he admitted happily to, "I _am _excited to see." He offered her a quick wink and a smile.____

"Your shipment came in last week and I had no issues getting it all to your new place," Liam assured him. The phone slipped back into his pocket, and Liam focused his attention on him. "Whenever you're up to it tomorrow, I'll drive over there with you."

The thought alone of getting up seemed to drain his body of all energy once more.

"Sounds like a plan."

The glow of his phone in front of him caught his attention immediately. His hand slipped over the vibration of it so that he could pick it up. And...

_Hey_

__

__

The small smile gracing his lips was instantaneous.

"It's Emma."

"Is it now?" Liam's voice held a curious note of query to it.

Dragging his eyes away from the phone for all of three seconds, he saw that the tone was matched by the look on his brother's face. Liam lifted his chin in the air just as he grabbed for the beer in front of him.

It was Emma who deserved his attention at the moment though. His gaze fell back on the text, ready to respond.

_**I was going to call you.** _

_****_

_****_

_I wanted to check in. See how your flight was._

__

__

"So what did she say, Killian?" Elsa's voice was soft and as innocent as the doe eyes she gave him. There seemed to be more, but Killian didn't have time to dissect the shared look between her and Liam.

"She hasn't said much yet." Killian raised from his seat immediately. "I'm going to call her. I'll be right back."

"Okay." The affirmation came from the entire trio, with smiles coming from everywhere around that table.

He only spared them a quick nod before moving away from the table. At the same time, he pressed the call button at the top of their thread.

She picked up on the first ring.

She was close by... They were in the same city... It had been quite a long time since that was a reality.

"It was okay, for a seven-hour ride," Killian breathed out, pausing right where he stood. "Hello."

"Hello." There was a smile in her voice. "Does Liam have you living it up on your first night… home? All I hear is noise."

Killian's eyes ran across the length of the crowded bar. The music streaming from the speakers and the conversation made a terrible combination for phone conversations.

"He brought me to a bar, to meet up with some old friends." His feet began to move again. "Hold on."

"I should just call you in the morning then," Emma murmured. "If you're up in the morning."

"No, I'm heading towards the door." His steps became even quicker. "I want to at least talk to you before I drop dead from exhaustion."

He heard her laughter and it made him smile. He couldn't have made it to the door soon enough.

"How do you feel?"

"Besides tired?" Killian threw his back against the door, flinging it open. "I feel great. It feels good to be here." The coolness of the air hit him, and it was… familiar. Even after all this time, it was familiar. "I mean… Liam. It's been too long since I've been with my brother. And…" His pause was accompanied by the blink of his eyes, his thoughts turning towards her. "It's been too long since I've seen you."

"I know the feeling." It was just as soft as everything else she'd said. Still….

"You feel so close, Emma." He shook his head at that thought. "It's more than just the reception." His smile was tiny again. "I can't wait to see you. You should… you should come with me to see my apartment tomorrow."

"Killian?" This time, there was surprise in her voice. "Is that…"

"What?" A frown tugged at his eyebrows as he waited for her answer.

"Hold on… a second."

His head dipped down in a single nod. "Okay."

She had pulled the phone away from her ear, he knew. He wondered what drew her attention away, but…he was talking to her in the same time zone. It was great knowing that it was only miles that separated them instead of continents. He couldn't wait.

The feel of fingers clutching at the back of his jacket was surprising, making him turn swiftly around to see…

"Bloody hell," Killian breathed out, his breath being taken away by her at once. He almost felt the need to take a step back as well, the sheer surprise of having her in front of him being almost too much. But there was something much more prevalent racing through him, making his heart pick up speed as well.

His eyes darted across her face, taking her all in.

She stood before him, green eyes wide open and framed by long lashes. Her blonde hair flowed over her left shoulder in soft curls. Her peach-painted lips didn't form quite a smile. Instead, her lips were parted. In surprise as well.

"Hi." It was a whispered greeting as she opened her arms and moved slowly into him.

"Hi." The one syllable was all he could muster up in that moment.

The feel of her…

Killian closed his arms around her, holding her tight against him. His eyes fell closed as he breathed her in. It had been…

It brought back memories of his childhood, hugging Emma Swan. It conjured up memories of the girl who had taken him under her wing and had accepted him for who he was and what he was. It brought back memories of feelings that he held at bay throughout such a long separation.

Killian's arms tightened around her, feeling the twitch of his lip in reaction.

"What are you…"

There was a part of him that wanted to pull back, to look at her again. There was a stronger need to just hold her…

It was she who moved first, sliding out of his grasp on her.

Emma Swan. His best friend for nearly half of his life. Nothing had ever changed that. Not thousands of miles of separation, bodies of water, or continents. Not people who had come in and out of their lives. It took everything in him to not pull her right back into his arms to hold her even tighter than before.

Beautiful green eyes framed in those long eyelashes blinked innocently up at him. Her smile spread slowly across her face. It was easy to see that even though she had the advantage over him in this situation, the moment and the significance of the moment wasn't lost on her.

Her shoulder lifted up in a barely there shrug as her mouth dropped open.

"Surprise."

Surprise indeed… Killian choked back a laugh, grabbing Emma's arm and pulling her back into him.

"Bloody hell, Emma," he swore softly, tightening his hold on her once more.

"Welcome home, Killian." It was a quiet murmur laced with emotion. Her lips found his cheek, placing a soft kiss there.

Holding her in his arms, feeling her against him… For the first time since he'd stepped foot back in America, it felt like he was really home.


	7. Chapter 6

"I think I'm going to fall asleep on you," Killian murmured quietly, his voice thick with sleep.

Lying on a bed together shouldn't have brought up memories of their past, but it did. Neither set of parents had ever worried about them around each other. Neither set had ever tried to pry them apart. They were best friends and it was accepted wholeheartedly.

"Well, as long as you don't fall asleep on me, I think I'll be okay with that," Emma assured him easily.

That earned her a sleepy smile. Killian's eyes were already half closed as he laid on the bed. His head rested on his pillow as those eyes peeked up at her. She understood. In fact, she was amazed by his willingness to stay up for as long as he had already.

It may have been nine thirty, but he was still on London time. That meant two thirty in the morning.

"Don't think you have to stay up to entertain me," she murmured. Emma smiled as she stretched her entire body out on the bed next to him. "I'll just see you tomorrow."

"I'm happy you came out to surprise me, Emma." His eyes blinked at hers, the smile still sleepy.

"I couldn't pass up another moment to see you again." There was a quiet sincerity that she'd heard in her own voice. Her head tilted involuntarily as her own smile lifted the corners of her mouth.

"Good." Kilian's fingers swept over the small space between them, almost connecting with her hand. Their gazes didn't adhere to any guidelines, meeting and holding strong.

Emma had spoken the truth. The surprise hadn't been just for him either. There had been something quite… quite surprising when she set eyes on him.

She hadn't tried to lure him outside of the club. It just worked out that way. Which was a good thing because she hadn't expected for him to end their text session by calling her instead. So when she saw him, head dipped down and talking to her on the phone from just feet away… she couldn't believe it. But it was when he turned around to face her…

Technology in the form of Skype hadn't prepared her for the real thing. It hadn't prepared her for her friend who she hadn't seen in person for years. Five years was a long time to not have seen him. Some things had changed. Here was the man who she shared a deep love with. A love that was based on truth, honesty, and a once in a lifetime love. It was a love that, as a teenager, had been hard to define passed a best friend kind of love. As time and distance kept them apart, she'd often wondered about the true deepness of that love. The question as to what she truly felt for him constantly straining her thoughts and her heart. The moment that she'd never thought of was him moving back to stay. Yet here he was, and her imagination running wild behind him.

High school had been over a decade. Graduation had been a little closer. The years that had passed had solidified that… they were the best of friends. That they would always be the best of friends. Yet... She had seen her feelings grow over the years, had felt the change. How that had happened from afar was beyond her. That undefinable love as a teenager had craved definition over the years. Having him home (he was home) was already feeding the craving. The problem was that… she still didn't have an answer for it. She didn't know the right response.

Lying next to an almost dozing Killian Jones, Emma only wanted to concentrate on the fact that they were best friends. Everything else… it would be better to push out of her mind.

Her eyes widened as she looked at him, lying there beside her. He was here and he was beyond tired, she knew. The thought of leaving him was… one she had to entertain. Her sigh was small, just as she began to edge herself off the bed.

"Emma." Killian's eyes opened fully, his hand shot out towards hers and grasped it.

"Go to sleep." She couldn't keep the smile off of her face, even as he began dragging her towards him.

This time, she held her breath, watching him flip from his side and onto his back and bringing her with him. She searched the smiling face, torn over giving in to his playfulness and questioning if that was the right thing to do.

Emma felt the nervous tension coursing through her entire body as he wrapped his arms around her in a hug. Killian was close to her, so close. It had been so long since they were this close and… Her own arms wrapped around his neck and her eyes sunk close, her face falling into the crook of his neck.

The emotional tug was more than she had expected, pulling her into this moment with him. Living in that moment, she breathed him in.

"You smell really good." The honest statement had slipped from her mouth of its own volition. Almost… she was almost afraid of how he would take that.

"Mm," Killian's nose bumped against her cheek, "so do you." The feeling of him nuzzling against her deepened as he held her closer.

Emma eyes opened wide. She stopped herself from inhaling too deeply. She only let herself stay like that for only a second more. Then she was moving, slipping out of his embrace and exhaling slowly.

Killian's hand rose between them, taking a lock of her and gently tugging. "I love you, Emma."

Hearing the words fall from his lips as he laid next to her was… Her smile was tinged by a rare shyness and awkwardness. "I love you, too."

She caught sight of his smile and his dozing eyes just as she began to move again.

This time, he didn't call her back. This time, his eyes stayed closed.

Emma moved across the span of Liam's spare bedroom that had been comfortably set up. Her footsteps were quiet as she reached the door, pulling it open and stepping out into the hallway. It shut behind her softly.

The moment she stepped out, she could hear the voices coming from somewhere on the first floor. Her first guess was that Elsa had made her way over as well.

Her eyes had a way of drawing back to that closed door before she began to move. Not that she had anything to worry about. He was here now. He was here to stay.

Emma folded her arms across her chest as she began to make her way down the hallway and toward the staircase. Each step was taken carefully as she moved about the house, making her way towards the living room and towards where she was sure the voices were coming from.

They sat nestled on the two opposite ends of the couch. It was immediate, though, that she had caught their attention.

She hadn't met Elsa until that night, but she did know a little about her. The long-time friend of Liam's. Killian liked to tease and hint towards what was going on between the pair. It was on more than a few occasions that he'd let it slip that he didn't know what was taking them so long to come clean to him. That night had proven that to Emma as well.

She had always liked Liam. She had always felt him to be akin to a brother to herself. God knew that he had been there for both she and Killian on numerous occasions throughout those formative years. Yeah, like a brother.

Although their interactions were sparse since he'd moved back to Boston from London all those years ago. Sparse, but there were still those times. He was a physical link to Killian after all. She would have never wanted to lose that.

"So I take it that you're done monopolizing all of my brother's time?" Liam teased, his eyebrow raising.

"Is that what I've been doing?" She offered him a smile as her hands fell down to her sides. "He's out for the count."

"Emma, come sit down with us." Elsa was already patting the extra couch cushion that was between them.

"I…" It was on the tip of her tongue to decline the offer. Especially since Liam had his own person to entertain. It was one thing to be holed up in a spare bedroom with Killian. It was something else to invade on their own private time.

"It's still early for you, Emma," he reminded her in a murmur.

"Are you sure, guys?" She couldn't help the squint of her eyes. They may have been on opposite sides of the couch, but it wasn't hard to miss the intimacy from the situation.

"Come on. It's been so long."

Emma felt the twist of her mouth as she contemplated the offer.

"Okay." She moved then, making her way over to the pre-offered seat. Her turn towards Liam was instant. "I do have to thank you again, Liam. I'm happy that I didn't have to wait any longer than that to get to see him."

There was something about the way he looked at her.

"I knew that he would have wanted to see you just as badly to, Emma." That eyebrow went up again. "Best friends and all that."

She felt the involuntary intake of breath as she let that thought ruminate in her mind.

"Yeah," she breathed out quietly. "That's true."

"Liam told me you met as freshmen in high school?"

Emma turned to the inquiring soft voice of Elsa. Her eyes blinked innocently at her. (Of course Liam would attract a sweetheart.)

"Yeah." Emma shrugged. "About a week after he'd- they'd- moved here."

"And you've stayed in close contact after all these years. That's really amazing. It's speaks so much to how much your friendship means to one another."

"I…" Her eyes blinked just then as she clasped her hands together. It wasn't hard to explain, but… maybe it was. Maybe the truth depth of their friendship wasn't so easily explained. "I couldn't see my life without him." Which was a truthful statement if ever there was one.

"I'm glad to have him home again, too." Liam murmured from the other side of her. "I think it'll be a good fit."

"Even with everything he left behind?" It was a question she had asked herself a few times since she had found out about the move.

"Mum? Dad?"

"To state only a couple of things."

Liam shook his head. "From thousands of miles away, I knew my brother was stifling there. Believe it or not, my father knew it as well." His eyes danced across her face. "He sent him here in hopes of Killian having a better quality of life." He nodded this time. "I aim to help him with that."

So they were in on it together…

"I think he can have that here," Emma said with a nod.

"I think he will be able to find something to be happy about." There was only a hint of a smile on his face now. "Don't you agree?"

Emma didn't want to read too much into his statement. She did want to be a part of it though. And she would be. She would always be a part of Killian's life. Just as he would always be a part of hers.

"I do."

His head tilted just slightly. "Time will tell then."

"Emma?" Her voice was soft. "Are you going to go with him to see his apartment in the morning?"

Elsa's question only reminded her that she had invaded in on their evening. She was quick to turn and face the woman.

"Yeah, I am." She couldn't help but slide her eyes back to Liam. "And you guys are right: it's still early. But I think I should get going. There's no reason to keep you guys from your evening,"

"You aren't detaining us from anything. So don't leave on our accord."

"Well, Killian is asleep…" Emma stood up from the couch, pushing herself away from them. "So it isn't as if I'm any use to him right now. I'll just see you tomorrow."

"If you want to stay the night, it's fine by me." Liam looked up at her, his face devoid of anything that would give away the reason for that statement. "He's asleep now…"

"You're saying that I can spend the night?" If she'd expected anything from Liam, it wasn't that.

"I know you two probably have a lot to catch up on. I can read it on your faces. It's been years, Emma. So… if you want to stay."

It was tempting...

Emma felt the quirk of her own head. "You're serious?"

Liam's shoulder went up in another shrug. "It's fine by me." A lift of one corner of his mouth followed. "You've monopolized his evening already. Why not the rest of his night?"

That remark earned him a roll of her eyes. Still...

So very tempting…

"I do have some clothes I guess I could slip on down in the car." And then, immediately, "Liam, are you sure?"

"I'm-"

"Am I taking up too much space already? You haven't seen him in forever either."

"No worries, Emma." The smile was soft. "It's not like I can catch up with him while he's sleeping anyway."

Emma turned her gaze on Elsa then. Her smile was more apparent that Liam's, but the reason for it was a bit of a mystery.

"Okay." It left her mouth carefully, while still trying to digest and comprehend the moment. "Okay."

Liam nodded again. "That's good."

Her steps away from the couch were careful, too.

"I just need to run down to my car then." Was she really…

"And whatever toiletries you'll need in the morning, I am more than able to supply. No worries there either."

It was Emma's turn to nod. "Okay. Thanks…. thank you, Liam."

"Like I said," his head craned over the back of the couch to look at her, "no worries. I'm sure Killian will be happy to have you stay."

She hadn't expected it. Had never had the thought cross her mind…

"I'll be right back." She felt as if she was repeating herself. But…

Emma quickened her pace towards the door. Because if this was a dream, she didn't want to wake up in the middle of it.

****

The room was pitch-black. That wasn't the unnerving bit of it all. Killian remembered where he was. He remembered that he was in Boston and in Liam's house. What he didn't know was why he felt an arm draped over his waist or why his legs were entangled with another pair of legs.

It was her scent that drew him back in. It was the soft snore that made him smile in the dark.

There was a part of him that wanted to pull away, to reach for either his phone or the lamp and illuminate the bed that they both slept in. There was another part of him that didn't need the visual confirmation of what was happening. That part of him said that this was enough.

He stuck with that mindset…

Killian smiled, a small tremor of his lip as he tightened his hold on her legs with his own. The soft snores were close because she had snuggled up under him instead of on her own pillow. It was the scent from the top of her head that had invaded his senses.

He'd never imagined her scent. Nuzzling his nose just right there, he wondered why he had never imagined her scent before.

Killian laid his head back down next to hers. At the slight movement, Emma had slipped even closer against him, her head fitting right underneath his chin.

There was something that drew his lips to a spot on the top of her head. He placed his mouth there, leaving a small kiss.

She'd stayed. For him.

For him?

He felt himself swallow, his mind was already trying to race with many thoughts. They were thoughts of the girl he'd left behind all those years ago and everything that she had meant to him then. They were thoughts of the love he had for her, thoughts of how that love had expanded and grown into so many different layers. But hadn't he buried some of those layers years and years ago? Hadn't he let go of thinking of her on any level that included more than friends even before he'd let them grow too vast? Yes, he had. Only to be stirred up now, as she laid down next to her.

More importantly, more significant in the grand scheme of things, was the fact that they were together. They could be them again.

Killian let his arm fall over her waist and his eyes were slow to close again. The fact that she was there, the fact that she was in his arms, meant more to him than he'd ever realized it could. It also brought up ideas that he wasn't sure he was quite ready to face. But for now…. for now, he would take things at face value. He would appreciate what this moment was as he attempted to fall back asleep.


	8. Chapter 7

It wasn't supposed to be this easy to switch time zones. The clock on his phone read 6:33am. Maybe he shouldn't consider that adjusting after all, being nearly noon in London at the moment. It had been a hell of a long plane ride and, apparently, he had slept some ten hours. And Emma had stayed. She had wrapped herself up in his arms and… she had stayed.

It was high school all over again, in that moment. It was watching his best friend blossom within herself and her desire to take him with her. Blooming had not been Killian's thing at that point. So he had watched from afar as she began to experiencing all those firsts. Like her first real date. He watched as she'd readied herself to go out with Neal Cassidy. They'd gone to the movies and out for ice cream. She had told Killian about how he had first tried to be Mr. Suave, driving up in his father's new car and opening the door for her. She'd told him how, when that role had failed, he had tried to play Mr. Funny, trying to entertain her with some rather silly anecdotes about their teachers and being the prankster.

It was only a couple weeks later when Emma told him about her first kiss…. He almost didn't forgive her for that one. Out of the entire school population, she had chosen Neal Cassidy to kiss for the first time?

Killian's mouth turned up in a smile as he looked at her now. His fingers slipped around strands of her hair as it laid against her arm.

He remembered the first moment when he'd realized…

It was six months before he'd left back for England. He'd been with her for three and a half years, and it only hit him when he'd gone to tell her that he would be leaving for England after graduation. Perhaps that was a good thing though. Killian couldn't imagine how it would have been if he would have realized any sooner.

Best friends. They had always been best friends. Emma had always seen him as that. He had always seen her as that. And their friendship was now fifteen years strong. So it didn't matter that hugging her felt a little bit differently after that day. It didn't matter that looking into her eyes and having her return his smile did little things to his heart that had never happened before.

When he and his family had moved back to London, he'd went off to university, and Emma had started a new part of her life as well. For the first time in four years, for the first time since they had met, they were separated and on their own.

Friendships like theirs wasn't a commonplace occurrence. They hadn't lost that. There still wasn't a day that went by that they didn't connect with one another. The separation hadn't taken away his best friend. What it had done was put everything back into perspective again. It had reminded him that she was his best friend, which she had been for four years already. Best friends, yes. But…

Where in the hell was he letting his thoughts take him? Killian mentally shook his head, attempting to clear his mind. He had taken himself back to the past, but he knew he couldn't stay there. Those silly feelings of something more, those niggling thoughts of what it would be like for him to tell her that his feelings had changed into something else, the thought of her ever loving him in a way that was different from a friendship type of love... he'd just have to let that go.

Their friendship had only gotten stronger over the past decade. His love for her had grown, but... reality was reality. Her life had always been and would always be in Boston. His life was again in and would always be in London. Holding on to those feelings wouldn't be the smartest thing to do. He could have her in his life, as his best friend. And that had been enough. He had loved their friendship. He had needed her friendship. She was his best friend.

So... why did that change the moment he'd seen her standing there outside of the bar? Why had those faint memories...surfaced once more?

Killian pushed his hand carefully through her hair this time, feeling the silkiness as it slipped through his fingers.

Emma. She had stayed the night with him. It hadn't been a play of his imagination when he woke up in the middle of the night. No, she had stayed.

He watched as the caress disturbed her sleep. Her arm tightened her hold on his waist as her head dug deeper into the pillow.

The way she looked…. he held his breath. He pushed back away from her, creating a much needed space between them. It was the way her eyelashes crisscrossed and fell over her cheeks. It was seeing the paleness and milkiness of her cheeks. Whatever little make-up that she'd been wearing last night had been washed off before coming to bed for the night. He'd seen her like that before, plenty of times, during video chats. So why was it having an odd effect on him now?

This was bad. He moved again, putting more space between them. He wasn't that teenager anymore. He wasn't the young lad who had discovered his feelings had grown on another level for Emma Swan. He… wasn't.

Finding himself on the edge of the bed, Killian pulled himself up into a sitting position. He watched as Emma curled herself into a ball underneath the sheets and the way she pulled her pillow closer to her.

The feeling of… comfort washed over him as he looked at her. It was a sense of something being so right about that moment. And for a small moment… he wasn't going to fight it. He wasn't going to question why there was such an ease and enjoyment about being with Emma that he had never known in the four years that he was with Elizabeth.

Killian's mouth twisted. He sucked in his cheek and gnawed softly at it. The inhalation of a deep breath was sudden and surprising.

Now… now wasn't the time to fester in thought about silly ideologies. Now wasn't the time to go back more than a decade and start hoping and wishing, from out of nowhere, about the decisions he'd made.

Lifting his gaze once more of Emma's face, Killian lifted the sheets and slipped out of the bed. Sleep was going to elude him from that moment on. Tiredness from a long plane ride and a night out at a bar with family and friends was over. His mind was on something else now. And even that needed to be cleared.

****

Liam's house was pristine. Killian hadn't had the ability to appreciate what a marvel it was the night before. Walking into the kitchen, he raised an eyebrow and the black, white, and stainless steel that made up the whole of the decor. If there was anyone who lived the life that their parents thought was suited to them, it was Liam.

Liam sat at one end of the kitchen island, laptop out in front of him and browsing some article. Newspaper, most likely. That was until Killian caught his attention.

"Did you sleep well, little brother?"

Killian only spared him the quickest of looks, Liam's dancing eyes were a bit much for him. The smell of coffee drew his attention instead, from across the expanse of the kitchen.

"I slept very well, thank you very much." His smile was only the lift of the corners of his mouth. Stopping in his tracks, Killian glanced back at the kitchen island, the coffee mug sitting beside Liam's own cup catching his attention. "Um… I'm guessing that you slept better than even I did."

"I'm not the one coming off a seven-hour plane ride, so that honor might actually go to you."

"You think so, huh?" Killian let his gaze linger there for a moment longer before continuing on his way. "Where's Elsa?"

"Ah…" Liam lifted the coffee mug up to his lips, hiding whatever look that was on his face. "Elsa isn't here."

That statement earned Liam a nod of Killian's head as he finished making his way over to the counter and the coffee machine.

"She thought that it would be a nice gesture if she could make us this grand breakfast feast this morning before setting off to your apartment," Liam finally added lightly. "She went out to the market to pick up a few things."

Killian paused with his hand on one of the coffee cups hanging from its rack. He was quick to turn his smile on his brother.

"Aye. That would be a very nice gesture."

"And Emma?" Liam looked up then, his own eyebrow raising in query. "Still sleeping, I suppose."

Sleeping and curled up against her pillow.

"Aye," Killian murmured. He pulled the mug down onto the counter and reached for the coffee pot. "How did-"

"I invited her to stay," Liam interrupted. "I hope that was okay with you."

"You invited her?" That was an interesting bit of news to come across as he poured the coffee into his cup.

"She wanted to stay. I just made it easier for her to make the decision."

This time, the smile was a tug, forcing itself onto Killian's face. He held the mug with both hands as he turned around to face his brother.

"I'm guessing that you haven't talked since she decided to stay." Liam sat up straight in his seat, his eyes wide on his brother.

Killian lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "Slept like a baby." With Emma snuggled against him the entire time…. He shook his head in an attempt to clear it. His thoughts had been surprising when he woke up. He didn't need a repeat performance from his brain right now.

"Did that leave you with enough time to catch up?" Liam asked softly.

Killian was grateful for the distraction, except for the fact that the subject wasn't far from where his thoughts had already been. He moved then, holding on firmly to that mug while he made his way over to the island.

"So?"

Apparently his pause had been greater than he'd realized.

"I talk to Emma on a daily basis," he reminded his brother. "So… catching up?" He slowly shook his head.

"It's far from the same thing as being in the same room as each other and talking in person." Liam shrugged just as Killian took his seat next to him. "Wouldn't you agree to that?"

Killian met his brother's eyes, trying to make out the meaning of his questioning.

"It has been great being with Emma again," he finally answered. "It's quite a different experience than phone conversations."

"Just as I thought." That put a smile of Liam's face. "I'm glad I convinced her to stay then."

He lifted the cup to his lips this time, trying very diligently to not focus on the woman he had just shared a bed with.

"I'm glad, too."

If he let his mind wander on the past…

"Talking about me, are you?"

Emma's voice filled the whole kitchen, the softness of it pulling his thoughts away from the past and forcing him to look up.

The sheets had covered her from him, making it impossible to see anything beyond a peek of her shoulders. He hadn't even glanced when slipping out of the bed. But now…

She had him feeling like the awkward teenager he'd been all those years ago. He fought to keep his tongue in his mouth, letting it run over his teeth instead.

"Good morning, Emma." It was Liam's voice that broke the silence, thankfully.

Emma Swan in the morning was tousled blonde hair, knee-length t-shirt hanging off one shoulder, and sleepy eyes kind of beautiful. Not to mention breathtaking as well, because she had taken his breath away from the moment he looked up at her. It wasn't as if he wasn't accustomed to seeing a woman dressed only in sleep attire, so why… why was it that seeing Emma was leaving him awestruck?

There hadn't been many women in his life. Instead, there had been significant relationships that he had willingly opened himself up to. Still, none could compare to her as far as bonds were concerned. There was something special about the way he was seeing her right then. Perhaps that was it then. Perhaps it was simply what she had always been to him that had his heart squeezing in that moment. There was something quite different waking up to her in all her morning glory and the way she made his heart swell with… love.

"Good morning, Liam. Morning, Killian." Emma switched her weight from one foot to the other as she stood there in the doorway.

Killian swallowed, hoping it would help make it easier to open his mouth. Her eyes were on him as if she was waiting for acknowledgement, some sort of greeting.

"Good morning, Emma."

Her smile was easy as she switched once again to the other foot.

"Offer the woman a cup of coffee or something, Killian," Liam muttered, lifting from his seat.

"Oh." He looked up at his brother, seeing him grab at the phone that was sitting on top of the island. "Right. Emma? Would you like a cup of coffee?"

An eyebrow went up in question. Her tongue peeked out enough to lick at her bottom lip.

"I'd love a cup of coffee."

"No worries about breakfast." Liam slipped farther away from the island. "Elsa is on her way back with the groceries. We'll be eating within the next hour. Then… then we can get on our way to the new apartment."

"Where are you running off to now, Liam?" There was only a hint of teasing in Emma's voice.

Killian looked back at her to see that she had finally began to make her way fully into the kitchen. Coffee! He was supposed to be getting her a cup of coffee… He was quick to stand up himself, moving back over to the counter where the coffee pot sat.

"My departure has nothing to do with your joining us, Emma," Liam assured her smoothly. "I'm going to meet Elsa outside and help with the bags."

Killian turned around just in time to see his brother take his leave. His eyes were then drawn on Emma, being left alone in the kitchen with her.

"You… stayed the night." He took in a deep breath as he grabbed another mug and then the coffee pot.

"I stayed," she agreed with a sigh. "It was Liam's idea."

"I'm happy he did, Emma." This time, he turned only his head. "I'm happy you stayed."

"I'm happy I stayed, too." Her voice was soft. Her eyes were light. She was… beautiful. She was… his best friend.

****

Liam was his father's son. It was more evident to Killian now than it had ever been. The two-story three-bedroom house was a testament to that. It wasn't only the pristine and meticulous way the he kept it. It could be seen in the mounds of paperwork, on his desk and spilling out of file folders, the computer that was open and glowing onto a spreadsheet, and the overall look of his home office. It was a shipping company, for God's sake.

"So Liam is more like your father than you are," Emma sighed from behind him.

Hmm, she was thinking the exact same thing that he was.

Killian turned around to face her and found that she'd stuffed herself into the one other piece of furniture in the small office. Killian found the loveseat to be an odd choice to go along with everything else inside the room, but also convenient in the moment.

"I don't want to talk about my father or how Liam is so much more like him than I am," he told her, shrugging a shoulder.

Emma smiled. "Monday will be here soon enough without all the reminders?"

Killian returned her smile. "Something like that." He nodded towards the seat next to her. "Mind if I sit down?"

"I was hoping that you would." She blinked her eyes up at him as the smile grew.

It was… something very different. Being with her had a new quality that he had not expected. In fact, there was no way that he could have ever anticipated this unique nuance of them being together.

"Does this remind you of anything?" Emma asked softly.

Killian slipped down in the seat next to her. Her green eyes still held some kind of magical property to them.

"I've been having plenty flashbacks since the moment you walked up to me last night," he confessed easily. "Why?" He shook his head. "What is this reminding you of?"

Her eyes crinkled this time as she shook her own head. "My mind is filled with thoughts of the very earliest of days."

The very earliest of days. It conjured up the first time he had met her. The day that she had come to his rescue. It made him think of what foundation their friendship was made on.

"What would you have ever done without me, Killian Jones?" she asked with only the tiniest of smiles.

"Um… Well, it's possible that I would have either stood up for myself..." Her immediate scoff made him roll his eyes. "Or maybe my would-be tormentors would have tired of harassing me sooner rather than later-"

"Which means that you blocked out Brian Dennison completely because he never stopped being a jerk…"

Her observation was a valid one. One that had him poking out his lip.

"I guess that means…" Looking at her now brought back even more memories. It brought up his past, his childhood. The shy and sheltered life of a young lad who didn't always adapt so easily to change. "It means that... I would have been lost without you, Emma," he finally admitted softly.

His admission earned him a giggle. A cute little giggle that had her pulling her knees up to her chest and her wrapping her arms around herself. He found himself caught up by the innocence of not only her, but the innocence of them. He knew that she knew, but… it was difficult to not be caught up in the woman who was once just a girl, who influenced his being.

Why had it taken him so long to see it before when they were only kids? Why was it so easily seen now? He… he needed… to pull back...

"If it means anything to you, I would have been lost without you, too, Killian," Emma openly admitted as sincerely as she possibly could have.

So how did he do it? How was he supposed to pull back when she said those words in that tone? It was a tempting idea to open his mouth and let whatever he saw fit in that moment to come out. But with her eyes on the move, slipping from his, he stopped himself.

"I'm trying to get used to the fact that you're actually here," Emma continued. "I don't think it's hit me yet."

He didn't pull back though. Being next to her? It hit him in ways he didn't know were possible. And she was none the wiser to it. Just as before.

"Even if it really wasn't a decision you had much choice in, I'm hoping that you don't regret coming back." Her eyes opened wide and innocently on him.

Killian shook his head. "How could I?" His voice was thick, he noticed. His question was a valid one. With her sitting there next to him while they were in his brother's home… How could he ever regret it?

Her eyes squinted on him as she sighed once more. It was sudden, her movement. The way she slipped her feet back to the floor and moved closer to him.

His heart picked up some extra speed as well. Perhaps it was due to the way her hands came to cup his cheeks or the way her eyes fell on his. But… perhaps it was something altogether different.

"You haven't changed." Emma whispered the words, her eyes falling over parts of his face.

But he had. He had changed a lot.

"You're still the guy that I've known for fifteen years."

It made him frown. "Were you worried that things would be awkward between us in person?" He didn't find things awkward. He felt enlightened.

"Not awkward," Emma assured him. "Not at all." She shook her head. "I thought it would be one thing and… it's proving to be something else."

He couldn't agree with her more. She just didn't know the depths of what this was proving to be… for him.

Bloody hell.

"I'm so happy to have… my best friend in my life again." This time, she moved back away from him and found her side of the love seat.

Best friend. It made him smile, albeit one that was a mixture of many feelings.

Her smile. Her eyes. The way she sat there comfortably in her seat. The way… she looked at him.

Killian nodded his head, his mouth falling open slightly. "Aye. I'm... happy as well, Emma."

Best friend. Just as he was always meant to be.


	9. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I looked back and realized that I never said that this was going to be one of those slow burn sort of fics. That's completely my fault. Well I did say that if you thought it was one thing, it might veer off to something else... So, please continue to enjoy my attempt at a real slow burn story, a true love story, a simple yet complex story with a lot of feelings, and a story that I guess isn't the fluffiest thing in the world but also my attempt at leaving out angst for the most part.

"Wait, didn't you say that Killian's brother has a very nice and spacious house?" Ruby called out from the living room

Emma's eyes fluttered to the kitchen ceiling. Even from a room away, she could imagine the look on Ruby's face that would match the teasing of her voice.

"Ah… yes, he does," she called back.

She had appreciated the fact that Ruby and Victor had purposely arrived quite early to her place. It meant that they could be of some help with the food and setting up things. She wasn't surprise though that Ruby was also taking advantage of this time to grill Emma more about Killian.

"So," Ruby's started again, "why didn't you do this over there?"

Emma sighed, turning her attention back towards the oven. More important than Ruby's prying was the meal currently cooking around her. The smell of baked wings had long been filling the kitchen, enticing her with the need to check on them.

"It's my get together!" Emma reminded her.

She only took a quick look inside of the oven to survey the contents. Not quite ready, but looking well on their way. It looked as if her timing was correct and everything would be ready by the time everybody began dwindling in.

"Your get together. In your teeny tiny apartment." Ruby's voice was closer this time.

Emma turned around in time to see her enter into the kitchen, eyes wide as she made her way over to the stove herself.

"My idea, so my place," she told her friend as she stood up straight. Her eyes cut sharply on Ruby. "And my apartment isn't teeny tiny. We'll all fit without the slightest problem."

"Um… ten people, right?" Ruby asked skeptically. Her arm crossed over Emma so that she could pick up the large wooden spoon from the top of the range. Stepping closer once again, she leaned in conspiratorially closer. "You didn't have to invite the husbands, you know."

"I wanted to get everyone together, Ruby," Emma reminded her, watching the way her friend began stirring her pot of sauce. "And I don't think that it takes a formal dinner table to make that happen."

"Ten people, huh?" Ruby huffed out a sigh. She paused her slow stirring to look back at her. "Well there is standing room, at least."

Emma bit back her own smile. "Shut up, Ruby," she teased softly as she moved away from the stove.

"Emma, don't listen to her." Victor's smooth voice filled the room as he entered the kitchen. "This is great, and as long as the drinks are flowing, who seriously would complain?" To accentuate that point, his hands only slid over Ruby's waist on his way to the refrigerator.

"Well thanks for seeing it my way, Victor," Emma said, eyes pointedly on Ruby.

She shrugged. "I love the idea, Emma. I love getting the chance to meet your best friend for the first time. And I completely understand about wanting to get everyone together, I do."

'I can attest to that as well," Victor murmured softly. "So what is the story with this guy, Emma?"

She glanced back at Victor, seeing the way he leaned against the door of the refrigerator, bottle of beer in his hand and an eyebrow raise. She felt the way her lips parted involuntarily.

"Um…" Emma turned back around quickly, her mind twisting and turning at how to condense Killian and who he was into a simple story. When she thought of Killian, her mind went back to the beginning. Her mind conjured up the relationship that had spanned some fifteen years. Because that's who Killian Jones was. He was the shy new wonderful kid at school who had grown into a more confident and wonderful man.

Emma ran her hands down the front of her pants as she began to make her way over to the cabinets above the sink.

"Killian has just moved here from London only a week ago," she reminded Victor with an easy shrug. She reached inside the cabinet for a stack of the plates in front of her.

He nodded. "Oh, I know that part. I've been hearing about that part of the story for quite some time."

Turning around, Emma found Ruby right behind her. Her hands were already out in anticipation for the dishes being handed over to her, which Emma gratefully supplied her with.

"He's… a good guy." Thinking of Killian just then made her… tilt her head just so. "Maybe a little residual quietness from youth, but once you get to know him, you see it's not a bad thing."

The way Victor's eyebrow lifted again…

Emma turned quickly back towards the cabinet, grabbing the door and shutting it close.

"You two have been best friends for more than half of your lives, huh?" It was soft, but she wasn't sure if she was reading something into that question.

"Yeah, best friends." She looked back at him then. "You don't even want to know what I was like before your wife met me. Before Killian got his hands on me."

Victor pushed himself off of the refrigerator, the smile lighting his own face and the twinkle in his eyes was very reminiscent of how his wife had looked at Emma plenty of times.

"Ruby hadn't shared that part, him getting his hands on you." The smiled turned into a full grin in that moment. "Sounds interesting. And it sounds like a topic I should bring up to this best friend of yours. This Killian Jones."

Emma was sure it wasn't Victor's intent to make her feel as flustered as he had, but the truth remained the same.

"Victor." She attempted an easy laugh. "You're letting your Ruby show. I'd watched that if I were you."

"I wouldn't let her hear that, if I were you. She might take that comment the wrong way." He moved then, stepping back towards her. "Is there anything else that you want me to take out of this kitchen for you?"

Eyes scanning the whole of the kitchen, Emma settled back on the counter.

"You can grab those napkins. Most of the flatware- forks, spoons- are ready in the dishwasher."

He was quick to nod, quick to move and help out.

Emma smiled as she watched Victor make his way out of the kitchen. Her hands slipped over the front of her pants once more, only noticing then the moisture that had gathered there. If she let the silly questions and comments of her friends shake her…

She shook her head. Emma wanted whatever nervous tension coursing through her body to leave. Sweaty palms weren't wanted nor needed. The fact of the matter was that she was ready. For Killian to be here. For his brother and friends to be here. For her brother and friends to be here. Crowded apartment be damned. She was excited…

****

Maybe it was the newness of having him back in Boston. Maybe that's why her smile was practically permanent on her face. Whatever nervousness that she had felt was now gone, leaving her with the thought of how silly it really was to have felt that way at all. Killian was here, everyone was here, and it was everything that she'd wanted it to be.

Keeping the music at a low decibel, Emma was happy that the crowd (and yes, she could admit that it was a crowd) in her apartment didn't seem to be annoying any of her neighbors. She didn't mind that people drifted from the living room and into the kitchen or onto the balcony or even towards her bedroom. The point was that this mesh of people seemed to all be getting along and having fun together.

There were so many interesting aspects and dynamics around her. To see the four of them- herself, August, Killian, and Liam- together was quite the blast from the past. They had been kids- just kids- the last time that scenario had taken place. Adding in the new aspect of friends and seeing the success play out in front of her was one of the best feelings. So many things had changed in her life. But there was always that constant in her life as well.

"I think Ruby wants to know where you've been hiding these guys." There was a bit of teasing in Mary Margaret's voice as she took a seat on the couch next to Emma.

She thought that they would have crowded around her, the lot of these people. She was the glue, the person who they were all connected to. But it hadn't taken long at all for them to mingle amongst themselves.

"You know exactly where I've been hiding Killian," Emma said with a smile.

Mary Margaret leaned back in her seat, adjusting herself and trying to make herself comfortable. Both hands came up to cover the five-month swell of baby on her frame.

"Well, not Liam."

The mentioning of his name made Emma turn to search him out. She was happy, but not surprised, that he was having an easy time talking with everyone. That was one difference between the two brothers. Where Killian had always been awkward and shy, Liam had always been outgoing and easy. So it wasn't a surprise that it was Robin, David, and Ruby who held his attention at that given moment. Seeing them only made her want to seek out Killian next.

"Liam's a great guy." Emma looked over at her friend who sat next to her. "Being three years older, he was a lot of help to us. He never minded chauffeuring us around in the early days." Then her eyes were on the search…

"What about August?" Mary Margaret asked curiously.

"August… well, August had his moments." She found herself smiling at the sudden thought. "There were a couple more years in between that might have hinted to his being less eager."

Her gaze fell over the open door that lead to the outside porch. It was dark. Too dark to tell if it was Killian or maybe even August who was leaning over the railing. Alone. She was ready to place her bet on Killian…

"What we need to do is get these stories straight from the source." Mary Margaret's voice held that same hint of teasing as before.

Emma was being an awful conversationalist, she knew. She turned her attention fully back to her friend.

"Oh, definitely." She placed a hand down over her friend's as it lay in her lap. "I was somewhat of a mess back in the day, really. I'm not ashamed to admit it." Her eyes squinted at her own words. "Well for the most part, I'm not ashamed to admit it, at least."

Mary Margaret's laugh was light as she placed her other hand over Emma's.

Ah, if she only knew the half of it!

"Then we have to pull these guys out here and get the storytelling on," Mary Margaret said softly, her smile small.

"Agreed. I don't think that any of them would mind. Maybe in a while." Emma slipped her hand away from hers. "I think I am in need of a drink."

"Like," Mary Margaret's shoulder went up in a shrug, "a glass of white wine maybe." Her eyes looked up at Emma with sheer hopefulness.

A smile slowly crept across Emma's face. "I was thinking a beer. But… if you'd like, I'll have that glass of wine for you."

She was quick to place her hands back over her stomach. "Yeah, you go ahead and do that for me."

It made Emma's smile grow as she began to stand up.

"Will do then. I'll be back in a minute."

Emma's eyes fell across the span of the living room again. From her position, it became clearer to make out that frame that was standing on that porch. She felt the instant tug on her heart. She wasn't bothered by the… euphoric feeling that also came over her.

How long had he been out there? Alone? What had driven him to take solace? Those questions ached for answers. And maybe she ached a little, too, just to be near him again.

Hm, maybe he was thirsty, too.

****

August and Elsa were an interesting combination. It wasn't the one that she figured she would encounter when she walked through the door of the kitchen.

"Don't mind me," Emma said as she slipped over to the opened bottle of wine on the counter. "As long as you're behaving," she added, quickly turning a watchful eye on her brother.

"She means me," August whispered conspiratorially, leaning in closer to Elsa.

"I mean him," Emma agreed. She turned back to the wine. The glasses were right above her head and she reached for one quickly.

"Emma, I didn't know your brother was a writer," Elsa said, sounding a bit enthused by the idea.

"He's the reason why I do what I do." Emma turned back to look at the couple as the hunkered down over the small kitchen table.

"Knowing that I had any influence on her is what I live on." August's smile was cheeky and even had a hint of mischief in it.

"He's been regaling me with tales, Emma," she informed her happily.

"He's…" Emma's lost her battle at attempting to not roll her eyes at the nonsense going on in front of her. "Really good at that."

Emma poured an ample amount of wine into her glass before looking back at the two of them. She saw the smile on Elsa's face as she looked at August. She saw the twinkle in August's eyes as he returned that smile.

She waited until she had his full attention, his eyes falling on her.

"She. Is. Taken." Emma whispered, or more so mouthed, and enunciated each and every syllable clearly for her brother. "I'm happy that everyone seems to be getting along. I knew this would happen."

"This was a great idea, Emma." Elsa looked up at her, her smile light and easy. "I've heard the stories from Liam, but it is quite different to see all of you together."

"Better than even the old days," August chimed in.

It was easy to roll her eyes as she moved away from the counter and her drink.

"I'm happy it's been a success," she murmured as her steps lead her over to the refrigerator. She saw a beer in Killian's immediate future instead of the wine she would be drinking. The thought almost made her sigh.

"Hey... " August's voice trailed off immediately. "Oh."

"What?" Emma asked absently as she pulled the door open. Looking inside, it was a surprise to see the amount of alcohol still left chilling in the refrigerator.

She grabbed the one of the bottles, only barely paying attention to the conversation that was going on behind her. Slipping back to close the door, she felt the body that she was forced to bump into.

"I'm stealing you away." His voice was a murmured whisper close to her ear, taking her by complete surprise.

The beer bottle almost slipped completely from her hand as she flexed her fingers. Emma was quick to turn around in time to see the bottle being caught in Killian's own hand while the other wrapped around her now bottleless one. The speeding of her heart, she knew, was not due to almost dropping the bottle. Instead, it was from the surprise of having him sneak up to her, touching her, taking hold of her...

Killian was already tugging her along with him, not giving their audience any mind.

"One second." She didn't mind the tug, she just needed to… right her position in that moment.

He paused, his steps ending as he looked back at her.

"That was for you," Emma said, tipping her head towards the beer he held. "And that's my wine sitting over there on the counter, looking so lonely."

It was such a familiar circumstance, this moment. Her head filled with past moments of him taking her by the hand and pulling her along. Those moments were usually out of situations, Killian being the level-headed one of the two. This wasn't quite one of those moments.

He held out his arm, allowing her to reach out towards the counter and her glass. When it was securely in her hand, he was pulling her away again. This would be inappropriate for sixteen-year-old Emma Swan. Glancing up at him from behind, she wondered… just how inappropriate it was for a twenty-nine-year-old- Emma Swan to have these thoughts and feelings about her best friend...

"You thought about me?" It was asked as a hushed murmured just as she caught up to him. His eyes found hers and the mystery and wonder was easily read there.

Of course she had been thinking about him...

"I guess we'll leave that big 'group activity' of catching up for a little later," August offered lightly.

Emma blinked at her brother, seeing the cockiness in own eyes and disliking it.

"Soon," she sighed. "I promise." When she turned back…

Killian's eyes were on her, watching her closely as they made their way to leave the kitchen. She felt the need to sigh again. Only for different reasons this time.

****

It had been a week and… she just wanted to be used to the fact that he was actually there. That it wasn't some form of technology that made their connection possible.

It had been a week and… she wanted whatever this feeling that she has been feeling to go away. She wanted- needed?- a sense of normalcy. With him. With her best friend.

It only takes her looking over towards him on this moonless night. Because it is easy to see that something was on his mind. Something that didn't have to do with a good-sized get together between their family and their friends. It was something else.

"How are you getting settled?" Emma asked softly, her hair slipping away from her shoulders and onto her back as she tossed her head back.

The amount of space between them equaled about three feet. He was leaning over the railing of her porch once again. She had decided to lean against it, too, her back against the wood so that she could look at him.

Killian turned his head so that he could see her. She imagined a smile there, but could only count on the light spilling out through inside the apartment on the accuracy of that thought.

"I think… I need a break." The words he chose were thoughtful and careful, precise from whatever was going on in his mind.

"A break?" Why didn't that even sound absurd to her? It was because she knew him. It had been all of a week. No matter what it was exactly that brought him here to Boston after all these years, no matter how ready he had seemed for the change, she still knew that it had not been easy. It still wasn't easy.

"How is it working with Liam?" she asked softly, tilting her head in his direction. That brother dynamic would now be more interesting under the circumstances...

"Compared to my father?" Killian stood straight up then, turning so that his back rested against the railing.

"Compared to your father." It brought a smile to Emma's face even when it hadn't done the same thing for him.

"It's been a week." He turned again, lying a hip against the wood and facing her.

"You know how you said that you aren't Liam?" It was her chance to turn, matching his position and now being face to face with him.

"A difficult concept, or so it seemed sometimes." There was a smile in his voice this time. His foot took a step that the rest of him followed.

"Well, Liam isn't your father either, Killian." Emma shook her head, now being able to see more of him. "Take advantage of that fact."

This time, she could clearly see the smile lighting his face.

In person… those blue eyes…

"You're right." Killian lifted his chin just slightly. "It's not only my position in the company and being under Liam that I should be taking advantage of."

Emma's eyebrow lifted at his choice of words. Her hand tightened around the bottle in her hand as she found herself wondering more and more. In that same instance, she found herself leaning towards him. She found the rest of her body following suit, bringing them only a foot or so from each other.

"What else should you be taking advantage of?" The question was soft as she watched him, her eyes imploring.

"I should be enjoying this weather." His shoulder lifted in a shrug. "It's perfect boating weather. I rarely got the chance to get out and do some boating."

"You love it!" She knew it was a passion of his, and had been for quite some time. "Why did Donovan have a problem with that?"

His eyes squinted this time. "A distraction?" His shoulders hunched over. "From what is important?" Killian's hand came out to reach for hers. "You want to come with me? I can show you a part of this city, this world, that has been unbeknownst to you."

Emma slipped closer, bringing her body flushed against his. Her smile was small as she looked up at him.

"I'm up to it whenever you want."

"Then I'll make sure to accommodate your busy work schedule." His arm wrapped around her waist then, bringing her even closer so that he could hug her tight.

Emma felt the sudden purse of her lips as she let herself feel the hard and very male body of her best friend hugging her in an embrace. She slipped her arms carefully around his neck, pulling him even closer to her. Her eyes fell closed almost immediately.

I love you.

The words were on the tip of her tongue, but she didn't voice them. Not this time. She'd said them thousands of times to him, in thousands of different ways, but this time... This time they felt different. They felt like so much more. Emma snuggled closer to him and held tighter. They also felt wildly inappropriate given their situation. But still...

The feel of his lips sliding across the top of her head almost made her change her mind because… appropriate seemed to be at the top of the list of words of what she felt in that moment. So…

"I love you, Killian." She dug herself even closer into him, her eyes blissfully closed. The need to define those words… There was no need to. Her love for him was so encompassing, and now wasn't the time where she had to make it one thing or the other. Not now.

"I love you, Emma." It was a whispered sigh as his lips moved once again in her hair. His arms tightened even more, keeping her close.

Her eyes opened, blinking at his shoulder as her cheek pressed there. Yes, she shared an encompassing love with her…

Her best friend.


	10. Chapter 10

_"Sit down, please."_

_There was a sternness in his father's voice as he paced the floor of the living room._

_Killian sat down next to his mother, whose eyes held a hint of worry._

_"This may come as a shock, and I am sorry for that." He stood tall and resolute in front of his family. Killian felt a pit of dread form in his stomach. This wasn't his father standing in front of him, this was Donovan Jones CEO. He was all business and Killian wondered what he needed to discuss with them, what could come as a shock._

_It could have been anything, couldn't it? From his father? Yes._

_Killian stayed quiet, his lips kept together as he waited for him to continue._

_"It's been three and a half years…"_

_Three and a half years? What had been three and a half years? It could have been anything. Or perhaps not… Three and a half years ago, they'd…_

_Killian felt the set of his jaw, his nervousness growing._

_"I uprooted our entire family from our home and the world that we knew. America has allowed us to prosper in ways that we never knew."_

_From beside him, Killian could feel his mother's gaze on him. It was silent, but it was there._

_"I'm proud of all the accomplishments that we made," he continued. "I'm proud of my two sons who have embraced life in just the way I wanted and expected. Liam's away at college, majoring in business." He nodded. "You'll be on your way as well next year, Killian."_

_So what was this about? He didn't ask, but the question was on his face within the raised eyebrows and lifted chin._

_"That is why I'm telling you this now, Killian. To prepare you for your future." He looked from Killian, to his wife, and then back again. "At the end of your school term- after graduation-" It was so resolute. It was said as if it were set in stone, so no need to question any of it. "We're moving back to London."_

****

Killian watched as everyone who had sat in the hour-long meeting began to drift and disperse from the conference room. He kept the need to shake his head inside, knowing that there was no need to show an outer dislike for the business end of things, especially with his co-workers watching. 

This was what he had been groomed for his entire life though, right? When his father had joined EMID, it was a relatively small shipping company. One that grew, over time, to become some worldwide venture. And Donovan Jones had found himself somewhere amidst the top of it. 

It was the reason America had been calling. It was the reason why the Jones' had picked up their lives and moved a continent away for four years. It was the reason Liam had come back and tried to emulate what their father had done. And, as the weeks passed by, Killian was able to see that it was truly happening. 

Liam Jones was Donovan Jones in many aspects. Thankfully, there were also some striking contrast between the two men. If not, then Killian was sure he would find himself lost in the family dynamic. Where Donovan told him what to do, Liam listened to what Killian needed. Where Donovan pushed, Liam swayed. Where Donovan ruled because he was his father, Liam guided because he was his older brother. 

As the room emptied out, Killian walked slowly across the expanse of the floor. Only his brother was left, hunched over the table with a file folder laid out in front of him. He already knew that something would be falling from his mouth at any moment. It was just the content that he wasn't sure about. 

"Killian?" His head lifted and his eyes connected with his brother's. 

"Aye?" It left his mouth as a sigh. 

Those eyes held firm. 

"How are you feeling?" It was soft. "Because if I can only judge by what you've done in here…" He was slow to shake his head. "Then I would say that you're… feeling great." 

EMID was an established and profitable company. It employed hundreds of people. There were numerous families and individuals who looked at them as providers for their livelihoods. Killian was expected to be one of those people who made it all work. He was supposed to be one of those people whose ideas business acumen made the company, at whatever branch, a success. What Liam had just hinted to only said that he was in agreement with his father. 

"Regurgitating fact checks and spewing out numbers is easy," he assured his brother with a lift of his shoulder. 

"If it's easy-" 

"Do you really have to ask?" Because he knew. And Liam should have known as well. 

His lips pursed for the briefest of moments. "No, I don't have to ask." 

Killian nodded his head and moved closer to the table that was in front of him. 

"Killian?" Still, it was soft. This time, it had a hint of carefulness to it. "We've never, in our entire lives, wanted for anything. Both Mum and Dad provided for us and prepared us for the real world." 

His corners of his mouth lifted just slightly. "Never have I said anything different." 

"You know why he's the way he is with you." Liam raised a hand before Killian even had the chance to interject. "He wants you to be happy." 

"He wants me to be happy by being what he wants me to be. He wants us both to be successful in the way that he's been successful," Killian finally added. 

Liam's eyes roamed across the whole of his face. "I think that you can be successful in anything that you put your heart and mind into. I think he believes that as well." 

"Well, just as long as those choices manifest into what he wants in the long run." 

It was Liam's turn to smile. "You're good at your job." 

"I'm good with statistics and numbers and charming those who need it." 

This time, he shook his head. "Little brother…" 

Liam didn't call him that often. It was only sometimes. It wasn't meant to be condescending. 

"What is it that you want to do?" 

It was a question that his father never would have asked him. And didn't that speak volumes for their relationship and the man that he was? Liam had asked. Of course, Liam had asked. 

"I want… the ability to… move as freely as I want," he told him quietly, yet firmly. "I don't want the hassle of being told that I have to climb the ladder of success at the same rate that he did or the same rate that you are." 

Liam watched him silently for just a moment. Then he nodded. 

"Killian." His name fell from his lips just as firmly as Killian had approached him. "You're here now. With me. It's going to be up to you to decide what you want in terms of making your mark on this company." His eyes narrowed on his. "I mean that. So forget what Dad has said. You've spent too many years of your life stifled." He shook his head. "Too many years fearful of the outcome of your choices. I don't want you to do that anymore. So don't do that anymore." 

Fearful was a strong word. He wouldn't have said fearful. But he understood what Liam meant. They were different men. They had been different lads while growing up. They had diverged onto two paths that had left Killian… more susceptible to certain things. If it hadn't been for… 

Killian blinked at him, looking across at the man. He may have taken after his father when it came to appearance, but it was Liam that took after him when it came to mind and vision. 

"Then," he whispered, standing tall in front of his brother, "I won't do that anymore." 

Liam was a lot like their father, but, as Emma had said countless times, he wasn't his father. 

"Then I'll hold you to that, little brother." He raised an eyebrow. "And what I will expect from you is that you'll find your place. Not only here, Killian, but in this world." 

He was another influence. 

"Aye." Killian broke the eye contact then. "I will." 

****

**4:00p.m.**

_**Tell me that you are getting off of work at a decent hour and that all you want to do is catch up over an early dinner.**_

_You don't know how much I want to be able to do that._

_Decent hour sounds about right. Just not as decent as I'd probably like._

_**Damn**_

_**Late dinner?**_

_Slightly._

_**My place?**_

_Your place._

_**Got a minute to talk if I call?**_

_I got a minute._

The phone in his hand rang no more than ten seconds later… 

"How's your day been going?" 

"Actually, I'm having a really great day." 

If he thought he'd known ease when he'd seen her text, actually hearing her voice in his ear was a magnification of that. Especially when that voice spoke true to her words. It had a way of putting a smile on his face that he had yet to experience that day. 

"Tell me about it, love." 

"Well, how about a brief synopsis?" 

"Sounds like shop talk to me," Killian murmured into the phone. 

It was her throaty laugh that turned the corners of his own mouth up. He could imagine her, in her office that was only miles away from him, sitting there comfortably behind her desk and partial books in front of her. 

As he listened to her tale, her brief synopsis, his mind had a way of putting them together. He imagined that instead of those pesky few miles separating them, she was actually close enough to see and to experience. Their evenings had been filled with shared space on a couch. He saw the easiness of this conversation being held in that same scenario. It put a smile on his face, because he knew that it was a possibility. More than a possibility. They had been experiencing each other, their lifelong friendship, this way for weeks now. 

There was something about her. That something made his fingertips smoothly rub together as he listened to how she told him about August. How he was a nervous wreck when he didn't need to be, because Emma had all the confidence in the world in him. Killian's head tilted just slightly as she spoke, with excitement, of the new manuscript for an unknown author crossed her desk and how much fun it was to dive into that project. His lips curved into a smile as she stopped suddenly, quietness filling the line for just a moment. 

She was his best friend, Emma Swan. 

"I've gone on and on about my day," she finally said softly. A sigh crossed over the line. "How has yours been going, Killian?" 

It was a day of planning and strategizing and impressing people. It was a day where he was stuck inside of a building, looking at numbers and wondering about cost effectiveness and how to expand on not only by-sea sales, but also by-air sales as well. It was a day where his brother tried to convince him that he could be happy here in Boston while getting everything he ever wanted. 

Killian smiled. "My day has been going well, Emma." 

"Really? Because-" 

"Really and truly and without a doubt," he interrupted. "But I can't wait to see you, Emma. I can't wait until this work day is over and I get to see you." 

Best friend. Best friends. _Best friends._

"I'll be over tonight," Emma whispered into the phone. 

"Right. Then I should let you get back to it," Killian told her. 

Her laugh was soft and light. "Okay then. See you tonight." A short pause passed before her next words. "Love you, Killian." 

Yes, it was easy. That was because there was only the rarest of days that those words didn't fall from either one of their lips. Still, it put a smile on his face as he listened to her say it this time. Why did it feel really good to hear this time? 

"I love you, too." There was something about having this and her in his life that was more than just special. "Bye." 

Killian let the phone slip from his fingers, letting it fall to the desk in front of him. She was on his mind. She would probably be there for a while, reminding him of his past. Their past. Their intertwined lives... 

****

_He didn't even call her. Didn't even want to do it over the phone. It had to be in person. And it had to be now._

_Killian knocked at the door, tampering the need to bang on it in his desperation._

_It took a full minute. It had to have been a full sixty seconds before she came to that door and opened it. When she did, with curious eyes and a damned lollipop sticking out from her mouth…_

_"Emma." He attacked her with a hug, wrapping her arms around her and pushing inside of the house._

_"What?" Her arms were around his neck instantly. "What?" There was even a bit of anxiousness in her voice, already knowing that something was wrong._

_"We're-"_

_"What's up?"_

_The sudden addition of another voice made Killian open eyes that he hadn't realized were shut so tightly. That voice made him grit his teeth as he clung on tighter to Emma before he pulled away from her. It made him look up and down the length of…_

_"Neal, something's come up." Emma turned around, slipping her body against Killian's in the process. "So… you know." Her hand blindly searched for and grabbed his. "You're going to have to go."_

_Neal's face had a sort of pinching quality to it as he looked from her to Killian._

_"Really?"_

_She didn't like him. She was never going to like him. When was he going to stop the chase? Killian would always question her choices of who she gave her first kiss away to._

_"It's important, mate." He wished his accent hadn't weaved itself in those few words. Especially when he saw the light dance in Neal's eyes._

_"Well if it's important, mate…" He looked back at Emma. "I guess I'm out of here." He moved then, making his way closer to them and closer to the door. "I'll call you, Emma."_

_Her sigh was small. "Goodbye, Neal." She turned around in Killian's arms and then slipped to the side._

_His eyes closed again as he listened to both of their steps. He waited in silence, with his back to them, as Emma got rid of her company. It wasn't until the door clicked shut that he turned on his heel, facing her once again._

_Emma's back was against the door. Her eyes took a path across his face._

_"Hmm." It was nothing but a brief sound from between pursed lips._

_It hit him then. Emma. She was the first person who he wanted to go to with his news. Seeing her only made him realize what this move was going to mean: he would no longer have Emma. His best friend. His confidante. His rock._

_"Emma." Her name escaped his mouth shakily, the emotions behind their meeting rising to the top._

_For the first time, the move had more significance than just being pulled back to a place that he still knew as home. But… Boston had become home. Emma… had become family. No matter what those mixed feelings had been._

_"What happened, Killian?" She pushed herself off of the door and moved towards him once again. There was worry in her eyes, just like there should have been._

_Six months wasn't a lot of time, but he realized that it was the only time he had left with her. Three and a half years passed through his mind in a flash._

_He'd never known acceptance the way that she gave. Not before her. He'd never known a type of love that wasn't guaranteed through blood and through family. Not until her. And it was love. A love that made him question over and over again what his true feelings were. He never wanted to mesh realty with crushes and feelings that would ruin them. Because what they had was beyond measure. But sometimes… Sometimes he wondered if it wasn't a mistake to admit that what he felt for her was beyond friendship and surpassing the familial. She was his family, but in another sense._

_Killian opened his mouth, thought about closing it shut, but formed a word on his lips instead as he stepped closer._

_"We'll always have one another, right?"_

_Emma's head turned to the side as she moved closer to him._

_"No matter what. Always." This time, her hand slipped over his arm. "What... happened?"_

_His lips turned up into a smile because… of a few different reasons._

_"We're leaving for London after graduation."_

_He watched her eyes widened and her mouth form an O. Still… it was telling._

_"What?"_


	11. Chapter 10

Sleep began to wear off of her. Emma flung her arm back, making contact with the solid body behind her. It was then that her eyes opened and fell down the front of her, noticing the way his own arm slipped gently over her hip.

Emma took in a deep breath and held it for just a moment before letting it out slowly. The temptation to push back farther into his chest was overwhelming. Instead of reacting to that involuntary feeling that came over her, she pulled her arm back and laid it in front of her.

Killian's breathing was even above her head. He was still asleep, her small movements not having affected him in the least bit.

She wondered what time it was. Finding out would mean having to interrupt the comfortableness of being the little spoon to Killian's big spoon and… she wasn't quite ready to do that just yet.

They were supposed to get an early start. He'd planned the entire day out so that they could spend it together. No work. No family commitments. It was going to be about them. It was going to be a day out on the boat and, if Emma could convince him, time spent actually at the beach. He was excited about being out on the open water. Emma had the need to lay out on the sand and soak in the sun. And, no, it wasn't quite the same experience nor less of an experience than sunbathing on the boat. No matter how many times he tried to convince her otherwise.

The thought made her smile. It made her want to forget about being cautionary about ruining this moment. A moment that, in the grand scheme of things, wasn't really important. It wasn't as if this was the first time they'd shared a bed since he moved back. This was one of a few sleepovers.

Was that an oddity? To share a bed with the man who was her best friend? No… No, it wasn't weird. It was comforting. It was…

Emma began to turn around. She encircled his wrist with her hand, leaving his arm to stay in close contact with her body as she moved. Facing him, she found herself smiling.

Even in the earliest days of him moving back to England, there had been few days where they had spent without any communication at all. They had made sure to contact one another in whatever form possible. She'd seen pictures. Eventually, video chatting had been added to their repertoire of communication devices. So… she had seen him grow. She had seen him change from the boy she'd known to this man. But…

Emma ran her fingers over his arm as her eyes focused on parts of his face. He still looked the same, he was still the person who had always been a part of her life. But there was something different. There was something quite different in what she saw in him as he laid there. No, that wasn't true.

She could feel the way her heartbeat began to quicken. She didn't want to attribute that to all the feelings running through her. He was her best friend. He'd always been her best friend. The truth of the matter, though, was that she'd felt things all those years ago. She had attributed all those feelings to being a best friend kind of love. It was special because she had never had that. Then he had told her he was leaving, moving. So there was never a need to let herself explore what it all meant or what it all could mean.

The problem now: Killian was back. And so came back those feelings for him. Feelings that hadn't really been dormant all those years. No. They just stayed at bay as continents kept them apart. There weren't continents separating them now. There wasn't even a bed separating them at the moment…

A smile crept across Killian's face, slow and wide.

"I've been wondering how long you were going to lie there and stare at me." His voice was a deep murmur, sleep barely even lacing it.

Killian's eyes opened on her, but there were too many thoughts and feelings pouring through her for that to be okay.

It wasn't quite a smile that she returned. More of a lift of the corners of her mouth.

"Good morning, Killian."

He dug the side of his head into his pillow. "Good morning."

She couldn't tear her eyes away from him, even as she contemplated with the idea of that being the best option.

They fell back into a silence. She saw that his eyes were taking parts of her in. It was just that… she was doing the same thing to him. Taking in bits of pieces of her friend who was lying down next to her. Looking at how his hair swirled over his head in a very adorable way. Taking in his trimmed beard in person. Her eyes ran across the angles of his face and the coloring found there. She didn't look into those blue eyes though. Eyes were the windows to souls. He would see too much that way...

She stopped breathing, for just a moment, as his fingers slipped delicately over her hip and took their place on the mattress between them.

"So are we going to do the 'lay in the bed all morning' thing, or are we going to actually start moving?" Emma asked quietly, her gaze falling on that space between them.

His laugh was small. "I have a feeling that it's still fairly early, Emma. Everything is all packed and ready for our departure. No need to rush, I don't think." It was still soft. His fingers had been making swirling patterns on the bed the entire time, even lightly bumping against her own hand. "Anyway…"

The way that he paused...It was as if he was waiting for her to look at him.

"I was quite enjoying only laying here waiting for you to wake up."

Emma looked up that time. If there had been even a glimmer of amusement, then maybe… There was something else there instead. Something that she didn't know and chose not to define.

"You've been awake?"

"It wasn't the way you threw your arm back to hit me that woke me up," he muttered through a smile. There it was! The ease. Finally. "Or you turning around to face me."

"Then why did you let me just stare at you?" Emma asked, her eyes narrowing on his now-smiling face.

Killian lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "Why would I deny you something that I, myself, had been doing?" An eyebrow shot up this time. "I must confess: I think it was I who woke you up when my hand began to slip."

"You were watching me as I slept?"

"Mm…" He smiled. "The gist was the same. Enjoying the other one while, supposedly, they didn't realize."

He'd been watching her? He'd been touching her? Had it been the slip of his fingers against her skin that had really woken her?

Looking into his face again, Emma watched as the smile disappeared again. She watched as it was replaced by a sobering look. He still watched her as well, lips together and mouth relaxed, blue gaze pinpointing on parts of her face.

When had they fallen into this silence? What had caused them both to go so quiet?

The fingers that had been slowly circling the space of the bed between them clasped at her hand finally. It drew Emma's attention away from his face so that she could see…

She flexed her hand, stretching out her fingers. She watched as his own fingers fit in between hers, entwining them together.

"We have a moment." Killian's voice was quiet as his hand tightened around hers. "We can… stay like this… for a little while longer."

Emma… She liked the feeling. Then again… she didn't like the feeling. Dangerous. Reckless.

She looked back at him and found his eyes still on her.

"A little while longer?" She closed her eyes and gave in to the need to be closer to him, pulling her body towards him. "I could go for lying in bed for a little while longer."

"Good," Killian sighed.

He enveloped her in an instant. He switched holds on her hand, letting go of the one so that he could wrap his arm over her waist again. His other hand tugged at her hand that had previously been laying underneath her, now holding on firmly.

Emma smiled to herself as she slipped her foot in between his legs. She kept her eyes closed as she felt his forehead drop down to hers, pressing lightly.

A veritable cocoon, that's what they basically found themselves in. And Emma…

She let her eyes blink open, falling over him- his nose, his lips, his bearded cheeks, his bearded chin. It was nice, the warmth, the feeling of… Her hand reached out to fall over his neck. Her fingertips… lightly caressed.

She almost sighed. Almost.

She didn't sigh. She closed her eyes and concentrated, concentrated very firmly, on the fact that he was and always would be her best friend.

****

The door opened just as Emma swooped the large tote bag up by its straps.

"Okay, the car is all packed." Killian gripped at the door with both hands, his eyes alight as he nodded her way. "That's the last of it, right?"

Emma patted the tote now hanging from her shoulder. "This is everything. Except…"

It was as if her cell phone had rung on cue.

"Except that." She moved across the length of the room, heading over to the coffee table where the phone lay.

"You want me to take that last bag?" Killian leaned against the doorframe, watching her with interested eyes.

"Um…" She grabbed up the charger sitting there first, slipping it into the top of the bag. "No, I've got it." She was quick to slide the bar over with a finger to connect the call before picking it up from the table. "Hello."

Killian took hold of the doorknob, swinging the door open all the way as he watched her make her way towards him.

"Hey, Ems." The greeting sounded regretful.

"What's going on?" Emma smiled as she stepped through the apartment door.

"I'm calling you early to let you know that I have a problem," Ruby told her.

"What is it?"

"There's something majorly going wrong with the air conditioning over here. It is not a pretty sight in this weather either. I'm having someone come out and check it this morning." Ruby sighed, sounding every bit annoyed as she probably was. "They promised that we would be one of their first stops."

"Yeah?" Emma prompted, still unsure.

"That means I'm going to have to push back that day of gift shopping and lunch."

Her words made Emma freeze where she stood in the hallway, her eyes narrowing while trying to put things together.

"What?" Killian's voice passed through her ear as he slipped from behind her.

"How does three o'clock sound to you?" Ruby asked. "Instead of doing a late lunch, maybe we can just do drinks afterwards."

"Three o'clock?"

Killian took ahold of her hand, leading the way.

"Yeah. I'm-"

"I'm not going to be able to, Ruby." Emma tried to cut her off before she had the chance to go into detail.

The curious look came back on Killian's face as he looked back at her.

"You're not going to be able to?" Ruby's frustrated sigh came through the line clearly. "I'm…. sorry, Emma. I'm not sure I understand. We've had this date planned for a week…"

Emma felt the way her face started to pinch in guilt while listening to Ruby's apology. A week ago… They had made plans an entire week ago that centered on baby shopping and catching up. And… it completely slipped her mind.

"Is everything okay?" Killian asked.

Emma blinked up at him. She shook her head.

"Everything's fine."

He nodded, turned back around, and continued to lead them on their way.

"Is that... Killian?" The accusatory tone wasn't missed by Emma. "What happened? Did you to have another sleepover, Emma?"

She ignored the need to roll her eyes, but sighed instead. "We're on our way out."

"This early in the morning? Did you even… remember that we had plans today?"

"You're making me feel like an awful friend," Emma sighed into the phone.

"I think you should." It was Ruby's turn to sigh. "So where are you off to?"

"We're spending the day seaside."

Killian's hand squeezed her own gently just then.

"The day? Oh, God, you really did forget about our day, didn't you? Well, I knew this was going to happen. I knew that the moment Killian Jones moved back that it was going to be a fight to ever get any girl time in."

"I'll call you in a bit, okay?" Emma suggested lightly, knowing that ending the conversation was going to be for the best.

"Will you, Emma?" It was teasing with a hint of mischief. "With details about everything that happens?"

"I'll call you." She took in a deep breath. "And I'm sorry about having to bail last minute."

"It's no big deal. Just make sure that you call me."

"Okay-"

"Hey!" Ruby interrupted quickly. "I want the three of us to get together soon. You, me, and Mary Margaret. Seriously, Emma. We need to talk."

She nodded to herself. "It'll happen. Soon."

"Okay. Talk to you later then."

"Bye, Ruby."

"Bye."

Emma disconnected the call and promptly slipped it into her pocket.

"Double-booking, Emma?" Killian turned around to look at her, a smile already gracing his lips. "How did you do that?"

How in the hell had she done that? Simple, right? Her plans with Ruby had been forged just days before her commitment to spending the day with Killian...

Emma returned his smile. "You don't even want to know."

****

"We each could have invited a couple and still had room for more on this boat," Emma murmured softly, following him down the steps and into the cabin.

"I guess we could have." Killian's feet hit the floor of the cabin first. "Feeling ever worse about the Ruby debacle, is that it?"

"Um…" She tilted her head to one side. "A little bit."

Making her way fully into the cabin, Emma looked around the spacious room. She dropped the tote bag in the first chair she made it to. When he said he would rent a boat to take out from the harbor, she hadn't expected for it to be... the massive type.

"How big is this thing?"

The cooler that Killian had been carrying was dropped on the floor near the refrigerator- the freaking refrigerator- that was attached underneath to the freaking sink and stove on top. It was a surprise that it wasn't a bed there as well. Except… that spot in the corner was a bed. One of those teeny beds that jutted out from the wall that could fit one person.

"Ah… it's a twenty-five footer." Killian tossed her a sheepish from over his shoulder. "You're right. It fits seven passengers."

Emma watched as he turned back towards the refrigerator and opened the door. It left her time to look around the whole of the completely furnished cabin.

"There is a part of me that wants to ask…" There was also a part of her that didn't want to ask.

"What is it?" Killian paused at the task of emptying out the contents of the cooler and transporting them into the refrigerator. This time, he turned fully around towards her.

"Killian?" The question had her tilting her head once again as she looked at him. "How much did this thing cost you to rent for the day?"

He returned her smile, slow and small.

"Perhaps you don't want to know." He stepped over closer to the stove so that he could lean against it while he looked her over. "I wanted to spend as much of the day out here as possible. That meant something nice enough to really enjoy."

"I think… I can see how you came to that conclusion."

Killian smiled at her again, this time a light could be seen in his eyes.

She almost sighed, looking at him from across the room. She almost gave into that odd feeling that was a mixture of love for her best friend and something else. Almost…. but not quite.

It was Killian who finally reacted, after standing there silently as well. (So odd, the moments like this one…)

"Did you want to get properly dressed?" he asked her quietly. Maybe too quietly. He cleared his throat and started again. "I'll head up to the deck and get everything situated there. We'll probably be ready to go by the time you're done."

"That's… fine." Emma crossed her arms over her chest.

Killian was quick to give a single nod as he pushed himself away from the combination fridge/sink/stove.

"Okay then. I'll just see you when you make it up top."

Her eyes fell on the bag she had sat down in the chair. "Okay." Turning back, she saw that he was already making his way back towards the ladder.

Turning only his head around, he offered her another smile and a slight nod before he made his way up, leaving her… alone.

Emma let out a breath of air she didn't realize she was holding. Her eyes traveled back towards the tote, knowing exactly what she'd find. It put a smile on her own face.

It was time to suit up.

****

The boat sat still in the water, the light sway barely even constituting as such. It meant that Killian had chosen this spot to actually anchor and stay awhile.

Emma lifted her head to search him out. From her spot on the bow, laid out on the beach towel, she saw that he hadn't made it far from the captain's chair that was above her. She could just make out the top of his head. He was on the move though, stepping away.

She smiled to herself, wondering if he was finally going to grace her with his presence. Then again, it was she who had chosen to take a break from watching him steer them out farther into the river to instead find a sunny spot to sunbathe.

Emma closed the magazine that was in front of her and pushed it aside. Laying on her stomach, she caught a glimpse of first his feet and then his legs as he began to make his way over towards her.

She dropped her sunglasses down from the top of her head and let them slip over the bridge of her nose. Folding her hands over one another, she perched her chin to rest there. She uncrossed her feet, which had been locked at the ankles, so that she could swing one foot up into the air as she waited for him to make his way to her. She found herself biting the inside of her cheek as more of him became visible. She was reminded instantly of the thinner version of him, the less muscular teenage version. He still looked quite the same, but he was… definitely all man now. She could make out all those changes, too, since he was dressed only in the navy blue board shorts and a pair of flip-flops.

"Having fun?" Killian's voice held a tinge of humor to it. His eyes traveled a path from her head to her toes, not pausing anywhere in particular before meeting her own eyes.

She didn't feel any certain type of way about that. She didn't let it get to her that even in the skimpy Caribbean green-colored bikini, she didn't catch his eyes lingering… Instead, she pushed the sunglasses up on her nose and rolled over to her back.

"Sunbathing." She smiled up at him. "It's really the only thing that I wanted to make sure I made time for."

Killian raised an eyebrow. "Well, I brought you something just for that."

It was then that Emma noticed the bottle of suntan lotion hanging from his hand. He moved even closer to her until he fell down on his knees beside her.

"It's been three hours already?" Emma pulled herself up into a sitting position. "It doesn't even seem like it." She crossed her legs, sitting Indian style, and turned to look up at him. "So is this day turning out to be everything that you needed to be?"

Killian moved again, coming off of his knees so that he could match her position. He looked back at her.

Lifting a shoulder, his answer was soft. "Except for the fact that you've been ignoring me, yeah."

"Am I now?" He made her eyes widen and he put that smile back on her face.

"Well, at least your tan is taking precedence. Speaking of..." He twisted the top off of the bottle of lotion, sitting the cap next to her.

"Did you come down here to ask me to lather you up in suntan lotion, Killian?" she asked softly. She pulled her teeth over her bottom lip as she waited for his answer.

"I came down here for you, Emma." A quarter-sized dab of lotion filled his palm. "You want me to do your back? I saw that it's the side that you've been working on."

"Um… sure."

He was quick to nod his head. He was just as quick to move behind her. His legs stretched out on other side of her as he lined his body up with hers.

"Need me to return the favor?" she asked, turning her head to try to look back at him.

"I'd appreciate the token of... friendship." It was a quiet murmur just as his both hands found a shoulder to begin with.

Friendship. This time… Emma's smile was slight. She turned back around. Her attention focused out on the open water in front of them. Her attention focused on the handful of other boats that filled the same space as they did. What she didn't concentrate on was…

It was supposed to be a simple application of lotion onto her back. It was not supposed to be a slow and methodical massage, with strong fingers gripping and working from top to bottom of the skin

"Emma?"

When she closed her eyes… she could make out the small patterns that his hands were making on her back…

"What?" she breathed out. She opened her eyes, focusing on absolutely nothing this time.

"Do you ever run into any of our old classmates?" His mouth settled close to her ear while he asked the question. An odd question.

"Mm… not really." Emma turned that time, coming up close and personal with his face mere inches from hers. "Why do you ask?"

Killian blinked at her, once… then twice, before he pressed back.

"That time frame was on my mind," he finally told her. His eyes darted across her face before he smiled. "Turn back around, love. Let me finish."

She continued to watch him for a moment. Killian was… He was…

She found the need to steady her breathing. She turned back around like he told her to do.

"When did you pick that up, huh?" Emma asked with a huff.

"Mm… what's that?" It was close to her ear again.

"You and your choice of a term of endearment." She wanted to turn again, but she didn't. "'Love?'"

"It was something that… naturally happened, I would have to say." It was murmured quietly as he continued his application. "I've called you love before. Why… why ask now? Because I've done it in person."

"Maybe so," she answered lightly, not having thought much about it. "Did you have a special pet name for Elizabeth, Killian? Something that was only for her?"

His hands smoothed over her lower back and pressed against her sides.

When he stayed quiet for longer than she thought was warranted, she had to fight the urge to look back at him.

"Do you miss her?" She strived for lightness in her voice, a kind of ease. "You were back on… when you left."

"Well... technically, I'd say we were off at the time of my departure," he mused, a hint of teasing in his voice. "She didn't think that the move was… beneficial, I guess, to our relationship being considered on."

"Which was the only reason-"

"I don't miss Elizabeth, Emma." Killian had cut her off immediately. He pulled his hands off of her, separating himself from her.

Emma blinked her eyes as she stayed still in her position.

"I'm happy here."

She was quick to turn back around at those words.

"Are you, Killian?" What made it difficult to believe was the fact that work still wasn't going as smoothly as he'd wanted. He hadn't been there long. Long enough to stir those feelings inside of her, but that was easy when it had never gone away.

Killian sat back on his heels and stared at her. "I'm happy here, in Boston. I prefer it to the alternative, I assure you."

Emma took in a deep breath. "Good." From behind the sunglasses, she blinked her eyes at him. The smile she offered him was small. "So… is it your turn?"

If it was his turn, then maybe the idea of wanting her best friend to kiss her, really and truly kiss her, would leave her mind. She really needed that thought to leave her. Best friends didn't kiss each other. The kind of kiss that had her thoughts going crazy was a mistake. The kind of bad choice that was made by friends with benefits. That wasn't Emma and Killian. She would never want to diminish what they had to something like that. So… she silently shook her head, trying to clear it as she waited on his answer.

"Sure. My turn." Killian turned his attention towards the small bottle sitting beside them.

She didn't like it. She didn't want it. Her feelings for him, in that way, were not supposed to grow. Tell that to her racing heart.

"Killian?"

She didn't have anything to say after that. Nothing that she could actually say.

"Yeah?" he asked softly.

She imagined, purely imagined, that his hand caressed hers after he dropped the bottle of suntan lotion there. If not her imagination, then she had simply read more into in. Why?

Emma shook her head. "Nothing. It was nothing."

Killian shrugged, followed by a bob of his head. He began to turn around then, offering his back…

He was quick to turn again, his lips catching her cheek and leaving a kiss there. Just as suddenly… his back was presented to her, ready for the protection of the suntan lotion.

It left Emma's mouth slacked open. A simple peck. It was a simple kiss on the cheek, so why did it have her... Her eyes blinked at his back through the darkened sunglasses. Her heart raced again… Tightening her hand on the bottle, she poured a small amount into the palm of her other hand.

She pressed her lips together firmly. Her hands came together to massage the lotion between them. Taking only one more second, she finally let her hands come in contact with his back.

His skin was warm from the sun. His skin was silky and smooth at the touch. Emma let her hands smooth over that skin slowly.

"Emma?" Killian's voice was quiet.

It wasn't right. The whole scenario that she had found herself in was... completely wrong.

"What?" She strived for normalcy. She knew that she was fighting herself in this battle of her feelings coming from all directions.

"What's wrong?" Killian looked back, turning his head to look at her.

What was wrong? Ha! She could think of a few things…

Emma lifted her sunglasses, perching them back atop her head.

"Nothing's wrong." And just because she wanted to… Emma smoothed her hands down his shoulders and over his arms. "Nothing." She slipped her body closer to his, leaning forward and placing her own kiss to his cheek.

It was a moment of weakness. It was also a moment of clarity.

She had given in to the sudden need to be something more than just best friends, even though he was unaware of it. But… she knew she couldn't do that forever. She was going to have to get a true grip on…. everything. She was going to have to put a real stop to… whatever this was.

Slipping away from him, feeling his skin slip away from hers, she knew. It was the only way to have a sense of normalcy again.


	12. Chapter 11

"You're here on time."

The way Liam's greeting left his mouth made Killian stop immediately where he stood. He'd barely made it through the office door before his brother spoke.

"Why wouldn't I be here on time?" His eyebrows pull together in a frown. "I haven't been late once as of yet. Anyway, I've always been a punctual person."

Liam moved slowly towards the front of his desk just as Killian began to make his way further into the room. This time, he perched himself right there on the corner of the desk, looking quite interested in his younger brother.

"It's probably because I could not get a hold of you yesterday," he explained with a shrug. "I wasn't sure what exactly was keeping you occupied, or if it would spill over into today."

"It was Sunday." Killian took in a deep breath and ran his hand along his belt buckle. "Everything that you could've possibly needed from me, I made sure that I'd taken care of before the weekend even began."

There was a moment where all Liam did was watch him, before the sudden smile appeared on his face.

"It had nothing to do with the job, Killian." There was a definite hint of amusement in his eyes now. "I was only trying to get in contact with my little brother."

Standing in front of him, Kilian lifted his chin.

"You jumped to that conclusion rather quickly." Liam's voice was a murmur as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Is that what you were used to when you worked with Dad? That every phone call on a weekend evening would be about work that wasn't completed from the week earlier?" This time, he tilted his head just so, his eyes wandering across the front of his brother.

Killian gave one shake of his head. "I didn't say that." Because that wasn't factual. Not entirely.

"I'm not Dad, Killian." He smiled again, his blue stare content. "I'm your brother who has recently gotten you back in my life full-time."

Killian found himself staring right back at him. "Okay." He nodded his head briefly. "Well…"

"You spent the entire day with Emma out on Charles River." The subject had change fairly quick all of a sudden. Liam's eyebrows went up in anticipation of the response, a full smile crossed his face. There was still that playfulness in his eyes.

Killian was slow to shake his head, his brother's statement and the reason behind made him unsure.

"It was the first time since I've been back," he reminded him. "I needed to some real time to unwind."

"Must've been nice not to have a judging eye looking over your shoulder as well, aye, little brother?" Liam muttered quietly.

"You could say that," he muttered back.

Of course, it brought thoughts of his father back to the forefront of his mind. Killian didn't want nor need those thoughts clouding his mind. He was truly in a good place now in his life. His work and his career weren't being put on the backburner so that he could live in the moment filled with extracurricular hobbies. There was a balance and that balance allowed for calmer thoughts and a more rational self. He'd needed that desperately. Boston was everything that he needed it to be. Everything… including Emma.

"I rented a gorgeous vessel for the day," he continued. "And, yes, we did spend the majority of the day on the river."

"Just the two of you?" This time, Liam's feet kicked up in the air as he looked innocently at Killian.

Emma had made a remark similar to that yesterday as well…

"It was just the two of us," Killian answered with a slow nod. He had a feeling of where Liam was going with his conversation. "You know what? Next time, you really should join us." It was an attempt at humor, an attempt at avoiding Liam's statement, as he made his way across to the other side of the room.

"Well, perhaps next time you'll answer your phone, hm? It sometimes feels as if all your free time away from work is spent with Emma." Liam slapped a firm hand down over his knee and he offered him a bright smile. "Sometimes I wonder if you remember that she wasn't the only one you've missed out on seeing for all those years."

Killian watched his brother closely, a smile creeping across his face.

"We must… attempt to repair that injustice, I agree," he told him with a sigh. "What are you doing… well, let's say tonight?"

Liam's fingers gripped at that knee this time, his chin lifting an inch or so in the air.

"I'm supposed to see… Elsa this evening."

"Oh." Killian poked his bottom lip out innocently enough. "Oh. Well…" He found himself smiling again. "It seems to me that whenever I even attempt to make plans with you outside of the office, you have plans with Elsa."

Liam's shy smile crept across his face, catching his bottom lip between his teeth to keep it at a minimum.

"Point taken, Killian," he conceded softly.

"I don't know how she puts up with you, really," Killian murmured, moving back towards his brother. "This dance that you two put on is for what?"

"It's funny that you, of all people, would be asking me that." Liam's eyes connected with his brother's, holding firm. "Talk about putting on a dance." He took in a deep breath as he contemplated his next words. "How long has it been with you two?"

Was he talking about Emma?

"Emma? Emma… and I… We're best friends," he reminded him slowly. "There has never been anything more than that between us. We've never even attempted to…" Bloody hell. Killian shook his head and turned away from Liam, feeling suddenly flustered for reasons unbeknownst to him.

The fact that they'd never fallen out of the friend zone crossed his mind. The fact that they were close in a lot of ways did not transcend into something that went beyond friendship. That included kisses on the cheek, hugs, holding each other, or nights together sharing one bed. That didn't mean that Emma wanted anything different or anything more from him than they'd had all of their lives. It didn't mean that she wanted…

Killian stopped himself from letting his mind slip farther down towards those thoughts about Emma's perception of them. He tried not to let his own mind wander on what his own perception of their relationship was as well.

Emma on the boat was an image he shouldn't have conjured up. Because that thought brought back memories of the scantily bikini-clad body laying out underneath him as they teased, taunted, and tickled each other. It brought up memories of kissing her cheek softly and then her kissing him on the cheek. Kisses that made him wish they weren't so chaste and on the cheek, but lingering on the lips.

_Bloody hell!_

__

__

"Nothing between the two of you at all, huh?" Liam asked suddenly.

His question was a welcomed break from Killian's thoughts, which were beginning to spiral out of control. It should have been, at least….

"If I were you, brother, I would try not to think on her or the situation too hard," Liam added with a smile.

It was probably better to ignore that comment, actually….

Perhaps his feelings for Emma had been growing progressively since the moment he'd seen her. It didn't change the fact that he liked their relationship the way that it was. And so did Emma.

"I think we all know the truth," Killian finally voiced to his brother. "And that's all that matters."

****

Emma picked up on the fourth ring.

"Killian, hey." Even in those two words, she sounded….

"Hello, love," Killian murmured into the receiver, twisting his body around in his office chair.

"Um...what's up?"

Did she sound… hm... distracted? Perhaps.

"You're probably still busy with work," Killian realized. He pulled the phone away from his ear to glance quickly at the clock. Yes, he pressed the phone back to his ear, she possibly was in the middle of something at the moment.

Emma offered up a small laugh from her end. "Well, August is in the office, so what does that tell you?"

The sudden playfulness in her voice made him smile. The effortlessness of it put him, once again, at ease.

"Well, I will leave you to it," he murmured again. "But first I wanted to see what you were feeling up to doing tonight. If you wanted to stay in or perhaps you wanted to go out and-"

"Killian?" She cut him off with a soft question of his name.

"What?" He smiled to himself. "You have an idea already?"

"Mm…" Then he was right. There had been something off in the way she responded to their conversation. "I'm not going to be able to… get together tonight."

"Oh, okay." Killian took in a deep breath. "You've already made plans then." They'd spent nearly every evening together since he'd moved back. "The girls? Mary Margaret and Ruby are tired of me and have convinced you to get together for the evening?"

Emma didn't answer immediately. There was still somewhat of a hesitation from her end. One that was noticeable even from his end.

"Actually." She paused again, and Killian could hear the soft sigh. "Well, it's Ruby. She... "Another significant pause.

Killian felt the instinctive tilt of his head and the pull of his eyebrows as he waited for her to say… something.

"She knows this guy," Emma finally continued, disinterest lacing her voice. "Someone who she thinks that I should meet because we might hit it off. So…"

He wanted to see her face because he didn't know how to read the information she was giving him. There was a cross of disinterest as well as hesitation going on. Her attempt to brush off the whole thing as being nothing at all.

"You have a date," Killian finally said, the words leaving his mouth clearly as he let the idea ruminate in his mind. The frown increased, deepening in the creases of his forehead.

Emma laughed that soft little laugh again. "Yes, a date."

She hadn't…

"I think I hit an unexpected dry spell, which has only prolonged itself since you came back," she told him, almost teasingly. "So when Ruby said that she knew of this great guy, I didn't have a good reason why to pass up on it."

"A...blind… first date," Killian said, the words sounding stilted even to himself. He tried to let her words sink in. He tried to let the idea resonate fully with him. "On a Monday night."

"Hey, are you trying to be my dad and convince me that I shouldn't be out late on a school night?" she teased again, her soft voice just a whisper in his ear.

Killian blinked his eyes over and over. "Of course not," he assured her, letting his thoughts continue to run free. "Of course not." It was just that...

"Good," she whispered.

The line went quiet after that. Killian's own thoughts turned curious. She'd surprised him, that was all. The questions were beginning to fire in his mind, but they all boiled down to one thing. Best friend status didn't lend itself to putting other aspects of life on hold. Of course… of course she had a date.

Of course…

"Oh. Killian. Killian?'

Emma's soft voice in his ear called him back to the present moment.

"I'm going to have to get back to work… before August has a coronary or something," she continued, a smile easily detected in her voice.

It was harder to smile this time. There was a part of him that very much needed to see her face, to look into her eyes as she spoke to him. Instead, he closed his own eyes and tilted his head, and let his imagination conjure up the woman for him. Which may not have been a good thing because he saw something that made him all the more unsure.

"Okay, Emma," he finally told her. "I have to get back to work myself."

"I'll… talk to you later." He thought he heard a small sigh from her end. "I'll call you, Killian."

There was something that he was missing, something that he was supposed to be able to read from over the line. He just wasn't sure what that was supposed to be.

"Until then," he murmured softly. "Goodbye."

"Bye."

Emma disconnected the call first, leaving Killian to pull the phone away from his ear. He gripped at it firmly in his hand as he tried not to dissect his past interaction with his best friend.

She had a date. She was dating.

Killian took in a deep breath, his chest heaving in the process. She'd always dated. Always. Except… since he'd moved back to Boston. Her friends had already accused him of claiming all of her free time. Maybe that was so.

Of course she had a date…

It was his conversation with Liam that happened earlier that day that came to mind just then. It was the fact that Emma was his best friend that entered his mind, trying to kick out whatever other feelings that were simmering deep inside of him.

It was defined as friendship. So why was his mind running wild with questions? There was time to feel… a mixture of feelings in the moment. Still, there were other things that he could be doing. So, for now, he would just accept Emma at face value. He would move on from what she had just shared.

****

The idea of renting a small boat and hitting the river was a very tempting thought. Killian wasn't sure what exactly was holding him back from acting on the thought. He'd been out of his own numerous times. That was usually his preferred state, actually. But tonight wasn't feeling like one of those nights. Instead, he dropped the bag of fast food down on the bed and soon followed with his body. The night was only going to include Netflix and semi-unhealthy dinner. And that was it. Unless….

Emma hadn't said what time her date would begin. She didn't say what their date would entail. It was entirely possible that it would end rather early and she would come…

Killian shook his head, trying to clear the thoughts that were trying to form. It wasn't a good thing to think about Emma and her date. Not if they were just thoughts on how she would end up with him, because that wasn't going to happen.

He'd been really good at not letting his thoughts go thinking that they could be anything more than what they were. And what they were was best friends. As an eighteen-year-old kid, he had been more successful at keeping his feelings at bay. That couldn't be the case anymore. Their friendship and parameters of their friendship had already been set. It would be disastrous to let himself continue to think of her as something more.

Sometimes… he wanted more.

Bloody hell!

Emma didn't want more. She'd never looked at him as anything more than a friend when they were in school together. Her love for him over the years had been different from anything Killian had ever experienced, but it was that best friend kind of love. So he had let go of those thoughts as well. At least, he had thought he'd let them go. Being with her again was proving something altogether different.

That didn't change the way Emma felt about him though. It didn't.

His mobile- his cell phone- began to buzz from beside him. Picking it up, he slipped his thumb over it so that he could open Emma's message.

_Be honest. How do I look?_

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How did she look? It was utter bullocks, the way she had dressed up for her blind date. She looked bloody gorgeous.

The selfie she'd sent him showed off the carefully made up face, pink lips pouting at him and blonde hair flowing down her back. The black leather dress, although he couldn't see the entire thing, hinted to being on the shorter side. Tight-fitting, for damn sure.

Killian caught himself smiling at that picture.

_**You look beautiful, Emma.** _

_****_

_****_

_**Have fun.** _

_****_

_****_

I plan on it.

_I'll let you know how everything goes. Cross your fingers for me._

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_**I'm looking forward to it.** _

_****_

_****_

_No you're not. But thanks anyway._

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_Talk to you later._

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_**Until later.** _

_****_

_****_

Killian found himself looking back at the picture that she had sent to him. Perhaps he should cross his fingers for her. Except…. there was something running deep inside of him. Something that… just wouldn't let him muster up that sentiment.


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... do I apologize NOW for the fact that the slow burn continues on in this chapter as well? Sorry! Just continue to enjoy the back and forth between the two, with the knowledge of the ache building up in both of them!

**Tuesday 12:00 a.m.**

****

****

_**How did everything go?** _

_****_

_****_

_**Or am I premature here and you're still on your date?** _

_****_

_****_

_Lol I'm home now._

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_**I didn't want to disturb you though.** _

_****_

_****_

_With the details of your date?_

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_**I thought you might be sleeping.** _

_****_

_****_

_Nope, still awake. How did everything go, Emma?_

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_Everything went well. I had a good time._

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_**Movies? Dinner? Dancing?** _

_****_

_****_

_Lol Do you really want to hear about how my blind date went?_

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_**I'm interested.** _

_****_

_****_

OK. Call me?

_**I'm calling you.** _

_****_

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_****_

"Hey."

The sudden and deep inhalation of breath was taken of its own volition. There had been an instant calming effect just at having Emma's voice in his ear.

"Hi, yourself," he told her, a smile taking over his face.

He could hear her small laugh from the other end of the phone, and it only made his smile grow.

"You called me."

Killian tilted his head at that. "You told me to."

"Because…"

"How did your date go, Emma?" he asked her quietly. His eyes darted across the space in front of him, straining his ears in anticipation of her response.

"It went… fine." The sigh was almost quiet. "As well as a first blind date on a Monday night can go."

Well, that was up for interpretation…

"It was a very casual thing, Killian," Emma assured him, sounding every bit disinterested. "It was dinner and conversation and… things like that."

Dinner and conversation….

"You're very sparse with the details, love," Killian muttered quickly.

"What, do you want a blow by blow account of everything that we did?" Emma fired back just as rapidly.

"Did you have a good time, overall?" He wanted to gauge her reaction to her first date since he'd physically been back in her life. It was important. To know where she was coming from.

"It was a nice first date, Killian," Emma assured him. "So nice that… I'm sure I'll see him again."

Everything in his world paused in that moment. It shouldn't have mattered. It shouldn't have mattered in the way it was.

"First dates can only leave you with the bare minimum," she told him. "And what I've seen so far, I like. But it was only a first date. There's a lot more to get to know. And… I'm sure I will get to know more over time."

It left a small smile on his face. Killian was conscious of the fact that she was doing the majority of the talking, and it looked odd that he wasn't participating.

"So Ruby is an excellent matchmaker, is that it?" His hand tightened over the phone as he waited for her to speak again.

"Well, we'll have to see," Emma laughed quietly. "So… what did you do today?" She had changed the subject. She had taken the focus off of herself and put it on him. She was good at doing that sometimes.

It wasn't until a little while later… It wasn't until after he had ended his call with his best friend… Killian hadn't realized the amount of tension that had gathered inside him until it was finally released. Speaking to Emma on the phone had been the one thing that he had needed, allowing him to slink down in the bed and relax. He didn't even mind the direction of their conversation. At least, he tried not to mind the initial reason behind the call.

It reminded him of all those years so long ago. It reminded him of how he had been the late bloomer of the two, causing him to listen on a fair amount of occasions about how dates had gone.

In between those dates throughout their high school years, it never detracted from their own friendship. Dating never got in the way of what they were to each other. It didn't take time away from them developing and constantly growing closer to each other. It didn't stop them… from being them.

It was the ease of Emma's voice over the phone that had Killian finding comfort under his covers. It was the familiar teasing and taunting that had him laughing into the receiver. It was the thought of her only being miles away and the idea of her matching his positioning that made him overly happy in that moment. It was the thought of… Emma… that made missing her that day all but dissolve.

****

**Tuesday 11:47 a.m.**

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****

_**Tell me you can get away for lunch? Perhaps in an hour or so.** _

_****_

_****_

**11:57 a.m.**

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****

_I'm sorry, but I'm not going to be able to. Not today._

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_**Pretty busy day at the office, is that it?** _

_****_

_****_

_Yeah._

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_I'm doing lunch in front of a computer screen._

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_**We'll have to set something up for after work then.** _

_****_

_****_

_I'll let you know, ok?_

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_**Ok** _

_**  
** _

He hadn't seen her since Sunday night…

Killian blinked his eyes on the phone, his lips pursing as his mind began to turn. The phone twisted between his fingers as he looked at it from every angle. It wasn't that the phone held his attention. It was more that it was his current mode of access to Emma, his only mode as of recently.

It had only be a couple of days. So… why did he feel as if there was something more going on than he could put his finger on? Perhaps it was because…. this wasn't like Emma. This wasn't like them.

Taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, he dropped the phone back into his pocket. It wasn't a terribly big deal. It wasn't supposed to be a big deal in the least. At least that was what he tried very hard to convince himself of.

Running his tongue over his bottom lip, he tried to control the odd feeling that was beginning to course through him. He wouldn't see her tonight. It was only two nights that had passed. He'd just see her later…

Coming to terms with that didn't stop the pit of sadness from beginning to take root from deep inside.

****

Killian breezed through the office door, setting his sights right on his brother.

"Liam?" He took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, his hands falling over his hips. "Did you want to do lunch today?"

"I thought you were going to have lunch with Emma," Liam murmured. He was quick to look up then, his eyes making a path across Killian's face.

Killian lifted his shoulders in a shrug. "She… she said that she has a lot of work to do." He blinked thoughtfully as he shook his head. "So," he sighed, "did you want to grab something to eat? You know, combat some of that missing brother time."

There was a bit of hesitation that could be seen on Liam's face. A hesitation that had Killian feeling a bit dubious himself.

"You can say no, if you'd like," he teased quietly, a corner of his mouth lifting in a smile. Still, the hesitance made him curious.

"No. No, it sounds great," Liam told him, lifting an eyebrow. "It's just… I hope you won't mind if…"

Perhaps his brother had lunch plans that didn't include sitting in his office alone.

As the door behind him began to open and then bumped against the heel of his shoe, Killian knew he had his answer.

"Elsa joins us as well," Liam finished softly.

Her eyes held an innocence as she stepped into the office, her fingers gripping lightly at the door. Her smile was first given to Killian before she turned to make eye contact with Liam.

"Hi, you guys."

"Hello, Elsa." Liam's voice was a soft murmur from across the room.

Killian turned back to look at Liam only to find the expression on his face matched the tone of voice. It made Killian raise an eyebrow himself.

"Killian?"

Looking back at her, he saw her make the progression into the room that he still had not.

"Are you joining us for lunch today?" she asked him, sounding curious.

She was looking at him. Liam had, he saw, his attention focused on Elsa's back. And then there was Killian, there to witness the attempts of an easy atmosphere.

"Well. I don't want to interrupt your plans," he finally answered.

That was when Liam's head came up, his eyes connecting with Killian's. There was a brief smile on his face as he looked at him.

"It's not an issue, Killian," he assured him. "We were only going to do something quick and simple."

For all their closeness, Liam and Elsa never came out and declared anything about what they were to each other to him. That was odd because… this was a relationship, right? The amount of time they spent together, the quality of that time spent together…. The way they looked at each other said that it was more than just a friendship. So what was the point of keeping it so elusive?

"Ah, well…"

Liam was on the move then, his fingers fumbling with the buttons of his suit jacket. His eyes were on Killian though, waiting to hear how he was going to continue.

"You already made plans," Killian finally said. "There's no reason for me to insinuate myself between the two of you."

"You wouldn't be, Killian," Elsa assured him with a light laugh. "It'll be fun, I promise."

Liam stood directly behind Elsa, but kept a discreet three feet or so away from her. His gaze ran from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet. It was only then that he looked back at his brother.

It wasn't a face that said that he'd mind either way. But Killian also knew his brother. While it might have been just a simple lunch date, it was still a date. Killian's presence would cause for that weird barrier to be thrown up between the two. The barrier that said that no one was supposed to know what true feelings were between them.

Killian took a step back towards the door.

"No, it's fine," he told them both. "Maybe if I work through lunch then I could put myself ahead and actually get out of here early today."

The look on Elsa's face held a genuine note of sadness to it. That fact had a way of putting a smile on Killian's face.

"Are you meeting up with Emma tonight then?"

Liam's question drew Killian's attention away from Elsa, who was quick to turn her head towards the voice.

"I'm not for sure." Killian's answer was quiet and thoughtful. "I don't know what her schedule is looking like."

Liam lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "We should get together tonight, no matter what. If it's just the two of us or… or the four of us."

Or maybe just the three of us. Killian didn't speak the words because he hoped it wasn't the case. He was hoping that Emma's sudden heavy load wouldn't keep them apart for another night.

"I'll let you know," he told his brother instead.

"Then… we'll see you later." Elsa moved then, coming towards Killian with arms open. Her hug was tight and warm, her lips brushed softly against his cheek in a kiss.

Killian's gaze rested on his brother's, finding Liam with a fairly amused smile on his face.

"See you later," he murmured, pulling Elsa away from him. "You, too, Liam." He took a step back before he turned around on his heel.

"Killian, we can all walk out together," Liam murmured. "Just give me another minute."

"No," he said with a shake of his head, "don't rush on my account." He was already at the door, his hand fumbling to take a firm grasp of the doorknob. "Goodbye." Twisting the knob, the door swung open.

"Bye, Killian." They said it in unison. There was something about the comfortableness and easiness of the pair that made him want to shake his head again.

"Goodbye." He slipped out of the door then, quickly shutting in the peculiar feelings that were trying to bubble up inside of him. He felt the twist of his mouth and didn't know why. But he also realized, as his gaze studied his moving feet, that figuring it out was the last thing that he wanted to do.

****

Their text messages had turned into brief phone calls. That was both before work and after work. For the first time since he'd been back in Boston, they were going on more than three days of not seeing each other. But there was always a reason, always a valid reason as to why she was busier than ever.

Sometimes is was professionally. Sometimes she blamed it on August and how he needed her to put his book and her career first. Killian understood that. It wasn't the first book that August had ever had published with Emma at the helm of the wheel, captaining the prosperity of that venture.

Other times it was friends. Killian could understand the fact that Ruby and Mary Margaret had pulled her back into the fold. The three of them had always been close since Emma entered college. Their friendship had begun soon after Killian's departure to England and had stayed strong for all those years. So… he understood. He understood that it the trio felt the need to get back to their old routine. And wasn't that how it had all began anyway, with Ruby convincing Emma that she needed to get out again?

But each time, it was Emma who was too busy, Emma who canceled their plans. It was Emma. He wasn't upset, it was just something to get used to. Emma's life was full when Killian was in London. Their friendship had been strong, never wavering, throughout those years. So why was it, as each day passed and looking back the on their friendship, leaving him feeling… bewildered by a lack of presence? Why then did he crave to return to that first week he'd made it back to Boston, back to when he saw Emma every day? Why was he missing his friend so bad when she was still a text message, phone call, or video chat away?

There were a lot of questions. The fear of those all having one singular answer worried him more and more with each new day.

****

**Friday...**

****

****

He already knew of her plans. He already knew that she was going out on another date. He also knew that this was supposed to be some new guy, someone different than her blind date that had only happened at the beginning of the week. He also knew that this date was, again, at the courtesy of one Ruby Whale. Yet, Killian was still happy to see the video call coming in at the exact minute that she had promised to call.

"Hey, Killian." Emma's smile was genuine, bright and big as it split across her face. Her shoulders lifted and rolled forward as she looked right at him. "Another busy day, huh?" It was soft and didn't hint to anything other than an easy conversation starter.

Killian blinked his eyes on her, drinking in the woman who he had not seen in person for some five days. He looked at the woman who seemed happy to be sitting there in front of a laptop with him on the other end. He looked at the woman who was a big part of his life, and he automatically began missing her.

He shook his head, clearing his throat at the same time. He knew that he had been silent far longer than what he should have been.

"Hello, Emma," he greeted her with a sigh. "Busy day for you, is that it?" An eyebrow rose quickly at that question.

"Work has been a bear, seriously," Emma confessed with her own sigh. The stability of the camera lessened as she moved about, leaning back and offering more of a view of her. "But we're making real strides with these changes that were ordered on August's book."

"That's good," he told her. It was soft this time, followed by a small poke of his lip.

Emma leaned back into the camera, seemingly to peer closer at him. "How about you? What ended up happening with your meeting this afternoon?"

Interested. She was just as interested in him as she had always been. The phone call that they had shared that afternoon had consisted of talk about insurance policies and finding ways of cutting cost to make those policies effective on all ends. It wasn't the conversation that he would have liked to have with her, but it was very reminiscent of past conversations with Emma about his work.

"The meeting went fine," he answered. "Liam was in good form. It's… quite interesting to see the way he leads things versus what I was used to seeing with my father."

Emma's face softened at those words. "So… maybe not so much like Donovan as you had once perceived?" She peered at him through the screen, looking curious. "Have you… talked to Donovan lately, Killian? Has either one of you reached out to the other one yet?"

It wasn't only a softening. There was care and worry on her face and in her tone. Of course there would be…

"I've talked to both of my parents," Killian said with another nod. "Everything is going fine. You know what was always between us, Emma."

"Yes, the business," she murmured quietly. Her head tilted just so and her eyes crossed over the computer screen. "How's your mum doing?"

Her sudden attempt at parroting his accent put a smile on his face. Seeing her made it just that much bigger.

"Mum is doing well, considering." Killian lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "I know she misses me. I also know that my moving has made her miss Liam even more as well. There's been an influx in calls, I've been informed."

That earned him a laugh, a soft and light bubble that lit up her green eyes.

"I miss you, Emma." It was a soft admission as he caught himself watching her. The words rushed out so easily that he wouldn't have been able to catch them even if he had wanted to.

For some reason, the simple admission had caused a pause of her features. She sat there, frozen, for a long moment.

It only made him miss her more. He wasn't for sure what had caused the sudden… it wasn't a rift. There wasn't some kind of dissension between the pair of them. Yet… there was something that was keeping them apart, something that was making technology the one and only mode of communication between the pair that had…. missed out on something more than that for many years.

He did miss her. He missed her more than he ever knew that he could have. Sometimes…. if he let his mind drift there as he looked at her- like now- or late at night or early morning during a dream state... Sometimes he wondered if there was more to how much he missed her. Sometimes he wondered if missing her had anything to do with that teenager who was six months shy of moving out of the country, or the man who had returned with suppressed memories of feelings for the woman who laid beside him in bed, or maybe even the man who had slipped soft kisses on her cheek while trying very hard to not make it more than a gesture between two best friends.

It was Emma's mouth that showed signs of life first, her lips parting just slightly. Then it was her time to blink.

"It's been a few days, huh?" Emma's eyebrows tugged down into a frown. "I… miss you, too, Killian. We'll… we'll have to figure something out. Something soon."

He wondered if it was an empty promise. They weren't accustomed to making empty promises. The lack of having her near him lately made him think differently now. Killian felt the sudden hunch of his shoulders as he pulled himself closer to the webcam.

"It feels like that Boston-London five-hour time difference thing all over again," he confessed in a whisper. "All of a-"

"Killian, it's not that bad," Emma cut him off with a shake of her head. Her lips pursed for just a moment as she brought herself against the screen. "We don't have... three thousand plus miles, including the Atlantic Ocean, keeping us away from one another."

Perhaps it shouldn't have felt like that, but…What was it then? It was a question that he did stop himself from asking.

Emma grew silent, her position in front of the camera staying quite still. He thought he was good at knowing how she was feeling, always being able to read her. This was one of those times that he couldn't. Perhaps part of the problem was the conflicting feelings that he, himself, was feeling.

"So…" There were other matters at hand, weren't there? "You have another date tonight."

"About to start getting ready in just a bit," Emma said rather chipperly with a shrug. Her eyes squinted and she glanced off to the side. "Now, I'm not saying that I'm doing this solely because Ruby is making me, but…. she really has been pressing me to get out again."

"And hanging out with me just won't cut it, huh?" Killian whispered, confusion lacing his voice when it shouldn't have.

"Well, it's not the same thing, is it?" she asked lightly.

No, it wasn't the same thing. Whoever she was planning on spending her evening with wouldn't have their history. The man she would be spending her time with would be getting to know her, not have the privilege of already knowing her.

"Quite different, for definite." Killian agreed.

Emma took in a breath and lifted her shoulders again. "So what are you doing this evening, Killian?" She smiled. "Other than missing me, that is."

He didn't smile back that time. "I see a quiet night in my immediate future," he told her honestly. "This apartment…" His eyes lifted from the screen to cross the span on the room. "Is starting to feel like home. So I'm getting used to being home all alone." He looked back at her then. "I don't know if it was the former that influence the latter or if was the other way around. Either way…" He let his voice trail off, leaving it as is.

Emma's head tilted, the look on her face was pensive.

"Whatever it was, I'm just glad that you're feeling good with your decision to come back," she admitted softly. "I'm… I'm glad you're back."

Killian found himself drawn to her eyes, drawn by the connection that seemed even stronger. How was that possible when he'd been feeling the strain of being separated from her?

"Oh… um…" Her eyes blinked at him before she turned away. "That's my phone." She looked back at him. "Can I get back at you a little later? I want to take this and then start getting ready for my date." She looked antsy, she looked more than ready to end their chat. Why?

Killian couldn't contain the feeling of confusion from washing over him. There were parts of her that just were not the same. Yet, she had done her best to convince him that everything was fine.

"As you wish, Emma," he conceded quietly.

There was something quite haunting in the way her eyes opened wide on him, the way her lips parted once more.

"Until later then." She smiled again. It was a bit encouraging and something unique to Emma.

"Hopefully our paths will cross in person soon enough," Killian suggested.

A lift of one corner of her mouth. "Hopefully."

It was all on her, didn't she realize that? Her words of encouragement left him feeling awkwardly worried about their predicament.

"Damn it, Killian, I missed my call." Emma's attention was once again on her phone. "I'll talk to you later."

"Okay, Emma."

She looked up suddenly, her eyes again holding something mysterious. "I love you."

Was he reading something in those words that really weren't there? Was he projecting his own desires onto her? Something inside of him said no.

"I love you, Emma."

Her immediate response wasn't a smile or a wave goodbye. Instead, he saw her hand fly up towards the webcam… right before his screen became dark. She had closed the laptop shut, not bothering to log out. She had essentially shut him out.

It was done so quickly that Killian was sure she hadn't realized that there was a different connotation to his words this time. He had realized, as the words fell from his mouth. Hers were a mystery to him, perhaps filled with hoping and longing. But his words? He was sure of his words and the meaning of them.

It had been far too many years apart and convincing himself that he saw Emma as many things in his life, but boiled down to the title of best friend. There was more. He had wanted more with her. He had always, in the back of his mind, wanted more. It just took her pulling away for him to figure it out. And now, here he was, living amongst her as they had all those years before. The difference was that they were no longer children. There was no reason to feel as if he couldn't trust where his heart was leading him. He knew now.

He'd never loved a woman the way he had loved Emma Swan. He would never love anyone the way he loved her. There was a reason for that. There had to be a reason for that.

It hadn't been a full week as of yet, but if this separation had convinced him of anything, it was his true feelings for Emma.

He loved her. It was simple, yet a bit more complicated. Because he more than loved Emma Swan. For the first time that he could truly remember, he was ready to admit the fact. He was in love with her.


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself that I would go ahead and upload this chapter, so... here it is! I feel like I said this a lot, or maybe I just think it a lot, but I never meant for this to be an angst-ridden story. I guess it is though. I've come to terms with that. And it hasn't ended just yet. At least we get some insight from Emma, which we haven't had in a while. Sorry for not pushing them together and making them face their true feelings for one another. Maybe it'll help to remind everyone that there is relatively a small amount of time that is passing by within these chapters. Killian hasn't been back in Boston all that long. Also, I'm a fan of true buildup in relationships- in real life, and it plays out in my writing as well. But basing on past fics, I think I usually give a good payoff. Enjoy! Comments are welcomed and appreciated. Even the ones that are ready to do some hair-pulling!

Emma heard the vibrating of her phone on her desk. The sound alone had her tightening her hand over her computer mouse. She could feel the sudden change in tempo of her heartbeat at just the mere rumbling from beside her.

She took her eyes off the email that was from a potential new client and sucked in her bottom lip. There was still apprehension crawling through her body as she forced her attention down on the phone.

The feeling crept out of her in way of a sigh as she saw that it was only August. Tension that she hadn't noticed storing up inside of her escaped as her body slumped in relief. Swiping her finger over the bar, she even smiled at the thought of what this call might pertain to. Knowing him…. Well, knowing her brother, she may have just found something to occupy her time for the evening. Killian hadn't called, hadn't tried to make plans to see her… as of yet, but it was still early. She liked it better when there was an honest and plausible reason as to why she couldn't see him that day. The phone was in her hand and up to her ear in the space of a second.

"Hello, August." The edge was entirely gone out of her, and for a second she felt guilty that it was true. But she didn't want to think about that. She turned her attention back to the screen in front of her, back to the work she had to get done.

"I'm glad I was able to get in touch with you so easily." He sounded….slightly frantic, slightly book-frantic. That was… a positive sign. "Listen, I have a huge favor to ask from you. And I know that it's on short notice, but… you're my sister. And what are sisters for, right?"

Emma cleared her throat, hearing the desperation beginning to creep into his voice. It all sounded so familiar…

"What do you need, August?" she asked him, hopefully cutting off his need to go into a detailed description of everything that brought him to call her.

"Emma, please tell me that you're not busy tonight," August finally got out. "Or if you are busy. Just tell me that you'll make a little time for me."

"Why?" she asked, shaking her head to herself. "What do you need?" Her hand fell back over the mouse and she began to scroll down the page of the email in front of her.

"The additional chapter that they requested?" he asked, as if Emma didn't know the details of a rewrite. "I was hoping that you could spare me a little time tonight to go over what I have. I have five days before it's due, but I need your expertise of the subject, Emma. You know me and my writing better than anyone else. You also know what these publishers want better than anyone. So-"

"That's fine," Emma cut in, stopping the need for any further explaining from his part.

"That's fine?" August asked. She heard the slight skepticism in his voice. "Really?"

Emma laughed quietly. "Why would it be an issue, August? Of course I can meet up with you."

"Why does this feel easier than it should have been?" he asked slowly, sounding as if he truly wanted to know the answer to that question.

"What time do you want to meet, August?" she asked dryly, tapping her fingernail against her mouse. "And do you want me to come over to your place?"

She heard the huff and she considered his brief pause.

"Six o'clock. My place sounds great to me," he finally murmured. "So… see you then?"

Emma gave a firm nod. "I'll be there at your place at six. Maybe I'll bring dinner with me. Sound good?"

It was August's turn to laugh this time. "That sounds awesome, Emma. I really appreciate you dropping everything for me tonight. I hope…." He paused again, this time to sigh "I hope Killian doesn't mind."

She gripped her mouse once more, letting her finger do the scrolling.

"Why would Killian mind?" The question fell out of her mouth much too quickly, the defensive tone almost a giveaway to other thoughts and feelings. "I mean… I didn't have plans with Killian, so it's no big deal," she told him softly.

"Um… A little touchy there, Emma," August said carefully. She could only imagine where his thoughts were leading towards.

"I just…" She didn't have an explanation. She shouldn't have had to explain herself either. "Listen, August..." She attempted a light laugh. Attempted… "I have to get back to work if I want to get out of here at a decent time."

"See you this evening then." It was cheerful with maybe a hint of suspicion.

"Bye, August." Emma didn't wait to hear his own goodbye. The phone was pulled from her ear and she was quick to press the end button.

She found herself talking in a deep breath and exhaling quietly. She had plans now. It put a smile on her face. Another day taken care of. And that was all she could really do, one day at a time. Real plans made it easier to avoid Killian. Real plans gave her a way to attempt to take rein of those feelings that she had to learn to control.

She smiled again, putting the phone back down next to her. With that mattered settled, focusing on work became even easier.

****

"How about... "

Emma lifted her eyes, changing her focus from applying the lip liner so that she could look at Ruby's reflection.

"The black pumps?" Ruby asked cheerfully. "I like the black pumps." She moved completely out of Emma's closet, draping the pair of shoes from her fingers.

Emma turned around, looking down at the shoes. Her head tilted just so as her thoughts began to process Ruby's choice.

"My feet hurt just thinking about wearing those all night long," she muttered. Gripping the eye liner in her hand, she turned back around to focus on her nearly made-up face.

"Well, if you wanted to do flats, you should have just said 'I wanna do flats,'" Ruby threw back at her.

Emma couldn't contain the smile that broke across her face as she watched Ruby disappear back into the closet. She heard the thump and bump of the discarded pumps hitting the floor rather carelessly as Ruby went back on the hunt.

"This is supposed to be a casual meeting," she reminded her friend. "And casual doesn't entitle me to killing my feet in an attempt to impress."

"I understand that part," Ruby assured her from afar, her rummaging continuing in the closet. "What I don't get is… if you don't like this guy, then why are you going on yet another date with him?"

Emma dropped the lip liner down onto the dresser. She leaned into the mirror and surveyed the job she had done on her face. Or maybe it was a chance to concentrate on something other than her friend's question.

"One date isn't enough to say that I don't like him," she finally answered just loud enough.

"Oh, Emma, you are so right!" The sarcasm in Ruby's tone was evident even from deep inside the closet. "I mean, what's the point of facing the truth when you have someone who is willing to let you live in your fantasy world?"

Emma's eyes widened on Ruby's reflection making her way out of the closet. Lips falling apart, she watched as her friend thrust the black flats out in front of her and listened to the sigh fall out of her mouth. It was an automatic physical reaction that she couldn't hide. Ruby wasn't supposed to… She wasn't supposed to be able to follow the trail that Emma had so meticulously tried to cover.

"Ruby, what are-"

"I found this guy for you because you practically begged me to set you up, Emma," she cut in, all but rolling her eyes at her. "And there really isn't anything wrong with him."

Emma shut her mouth tight, turning her attention back to the array of make-up laying out in front of her. No, there wasn't anything wrong with Ian Turner. Nothing at all. He just wasn't… Well, he wasn't supposed to be Killian. That was the whole point, wasn't it?

"Tall enough, dark enough, and handsome enough," Ruby continued to tick off. "Smart and attractive with a good sense of humor."

"He's nice." Emma twisted around to face her friend, leaning softly against the front of the dresser. "I'm getting to know him… Ruby. So… sorry if it takes more than one date to say that I like him or not."

Ruby lifted her own green gaze towards the ceiling, her thick lashes falling. "Well… it's probably due to the fact that… you know…" She turned her gaze fully back on Emma, her eyes hardening. "You're in love with someone else. I mean..." She lifted one shoulder, her head shaking. "That's a possibility, right?"

Emma felt her mouth go dry immediately, her heart begin to race ferociously, and she felt just a little sick to her stomach.

"Ruby." It wasn't easy to laugh off Ruby's words, but she tried her best.

"Emma, don't even," she warned her, finally stepping away from the front of the closet. "I know you're going to try to put up a front about what you are currently doing, so just don't."

Emma felt the way her eyes blinked over and over again before she began to turn back around to the mirror.

"You're talking about-"

"Emma, I told you don't do that," Ruby admonished in a sing-song voice.

She watched as Ruby began to move then, making her way closer to both the dresser and her. Her own laugh cut through the room again as she picked up the lip liner once more.

"Killian, Ruby?"

"Oh my God, you're seriously about to give me that 'We are best friends. Always have been, always will be' shtick?"

Why was it so dry? Why did Ruby ask with such conviction and with her BS monitor ringing high? Her eyes had widened on Emma with that same disbelief. It was more than just disbelief. The broken stance as she leaned heavily on one foot and her head tilted sideways, those eyes seemed to be attempting to make sense of what was before.

"We are." It came out as a whisper, soft and quiet. It came out… weak. Even she was able to admit that to herself.

The pencil stilled between her fingers. She could feel the emotions starting to rise up in her and she didn't want to go there. Not when she wasn't alone.

She felt her mouth begin to move, silently because… there was nothing she should or could say. What she was doing, the way she was avoiding being in physical proximity to Killian Jones, was the right thing to do.

Her heart ached only a tiny bit at what she was doing. She was attempting to change the dynamics of their friendship, and all on her own. She was already seeing the effects of her decisions. Those effects weren't always easily transferred in her heart and mind as something good. It wouldn't be always, she knew. Once she was able to fully get her feelings in check then they could go back to building up their friendship. It was just… going to take some time.

"Oh, is that it?" Ruby picked up a tube of red lipstick and opened it. "I must've just let my imagination run wild when I saw the two of you together or the way you look when you talk about him or to him. Totally my mistake." She turned away from the mirror and looked straight at Emma, her face a portrait of yeah, right.

"You can just stop it, Ruby," Emma muttered, blinking her eyes yet again and turning back to her reflection. "Killian and I are best friends. I never even hinted to you that there was anything else between us."

"Oh, it must've been seeing the two of you together," Ruby said with a smile. "I didn't really notice it before either. Before." She turned around so that she was facing Emma, her side resting against the dresser and her arms folded over her chest. "But the moment he got here? The moment, you know, you got a life that involved a man that you were really interested in?"

Emma coughed on her laugh, Ruby's words sounding nothing but ridiculous to her.

"Ruby, I don't know what you're talking about." She took in as much of a breath that she could and she shook her head.

"Is that so?" She smirked at her this time, her eyes bright from her amusement.

"That's so," Emma assured her. It was with conviction. It was supposed to be with conviction…

"Then why are you, all of a sudden, avoiding the man like he has the plague or something?" she asked, quite amused with herself.

"I…" Emma's lips pursed for a moment as her eyes narrowed on her friend. "I talk to Killian just as much as I've always had. There hasn't been a day that I haven't talked to him." She kept herself from taking in another deep breath. Instead, she cocked her head to the side and waited.

"Ems." The smile on Ruby's face spread while her eyes widened on Emma. "When Killian first arrived here from London, there wasn't a day that you two spent apart." The look was astonishment, pure and simple. "Now? Emma, when was the last time that you actually saw him in person?"

She didn't blink at her friend. She didn't sigh. She didn't turn away. Emma held her gaze with a firmness that hinted to her conviction. But…

She hadn't seen him in person in… over a week. She hadn't been privy to his scent invading every one of her senses in… ten days. She hadn't seen those bluer than blue eyes without a camera in all that time. She hadn't… hugged him or held him close in so long.

The need to close her eyes rushed over her all too fast, forcing her to give into the feeling.

"It's been just a little while," she finally answered. "But I've been really busy. And so has he, for that matter."

"Oh, Killian, too?" Ruby asked quickly. "Because…" She scrambled away from the dressing, moving heeled feet over to Emma's bed. "In your text message thread, that doesn't-"

"God damn it, Ruby!" Emma felt the rush of heat entering her cheeks and her neck. "You went through my phone- through my messages?"

"Just a little bit," she said, the space between her thumb and index measuring only about a quarter of an inch.

Emma's eyes flew up, rolling on their way. "I can't believe you, Ruby."

"Oh, yes you can," she told her easily.

Emma looked back at her just in time to see her flop down on the edge of the bed, Emma's phone in one hand and the fingers of her other hand sliding across the screen.

"Do you think he stopped asking you out for lunch after four days because he was used to you saying no all those other times?" Ruby asked lightly.

"I…" It was difficult working her mouth the way she wanted to. "I had a really hectic and busy workload these past couple of weeks. I couldn't… I couldn't go to lunch."

"And then all those times something came up after work?" Ruby looked back at her then with a smile. "I love how Mary Margaret and I came into play."

"Are you saying that you didn't think I was spending all my free time with Killian and practically ignoring you two?"

"We're married, Emma," she told her simply. "I've been happy to see that you found someone to spend your time with as well."

"Then why are you complaining about my sudden dating life?" Emma asked with a shake of her head, her eyebrows growing together in a frown.

"Um…" Ruby lifted her shoulders in a light shrug. "Maybe because you're dating guys you have no true interest in all in the name of avoiding the one man you do have feelings for? I don't know…" Her face scrunched up in her own facade of confusion. "Maybe that's it. Yes, that's probably it."

Emma trained her eyes on her phone that dangled from Ruby's hand. If she timed it just right… she could spring a surprise attack on her friend and knock the phone from her grasp…

"Ruby." She held out her hand with a look of utter boredom. "Give me my phone."

Her smile was sweet as she looked up at her. With another nonchalant lift of her shoulder, she reached out her hand to turn over the phone.

"I've seen everything anyway," she told her sweetly with a smile to match.

Snatching the phone would be childish, but… she didn't care. Taking a good hold onto the phone, she pulled it back towards her, holding onto it tightly.

"When did invasion of privacy become your thing?" she muttered, turning away from her quickly.

"Probably around the same time avoidance became your thing," Ruby answered easily.

Emma spun around just in time to see her shaking her head.

"Emma?" It was almost pleading. Ruby didn't do pleading. "I've never seen you like this before with a guy." Her eyes made a path across her face before she stood up from her seat on the bed. "Emma?"

She wasn't supposed to be transparent. She felt her mouth drop open once again. Her eyes blinked back whatever emotion was threatening to surface. She was supposed to be getting herself ready for another date with another man who wasn't Killian Jones. She was supposed to be getting over certain feelings that made absolutely no sense when it came between two best friends.

"Ruby?" she asked with a sigh.

Her smile was small, but one of knowing. It was a smile of pure joy and happiness that had never been there before when it came to Emma. So why was it there now?

"You're in love with Killian!" It was a whispered exclamation that had her covering her mouth with both hands. "Oh my God, Emma!"

She choked out a poor excuse for a laugh. "Will you please just stop?" She felt the defeat in her begin to weigh heavily on her shoulders. "Will you please…" It was soft this time, and just as defeatist. "Just stop." She was slower to turn around this time, moving back towards the dresser and her make-up sitting there waiting for her.

"Emma," Ruby moaned quietly. "Really?" The playfulness was gone from her tone. So was the self-righteousness.

"I don't want to talk about Killian, Ruby," Emma told her quickly and firmly. "Now if you want to continue to help me with getting ready for my date tonight, then you can do that. But… that's it." She dropped the phone down on the dresser. Her fingers were then steady as they contemplated the different bottles of perfume before her.

Her ten days of letting the truth envelope was not going to be tainted by what her best friend thought that she knew. Emma knew what she felt about Killian. She knew the impossibilities and the absurdity of feeling like a girl with him. And she knew that it was something that she would have to get over. All on her own, and without him knowing it. So Ruby's insistence…

Emma sighed as she looked up and caught the sadness on Ruby's face.

"Killian and I are friends," she started. "No matter how much you don't want to hear it, that is the truth. As well as the fact that it'll never cross that line." She lifted one stiff and firm eyebrow at her reflection. "Do I make myself clear, Ruby?"

The sheer wolfishness of her friend's smile should have prepared her for her response.

"Emma Swan, you don't realize how clear you've just made yourself."

****

**11:39 p.m.**

****

****

_**Got a minute to talk?** _

_****_

_****_

_**Just for a minute.** _

_****_

_****_

_Of course._

__

__

_**Do you mind if I call you?** _

_****_

_****_

_I'm lying down in bed. Call me_

_  
_

There was a part of her that really struggled with keeping up with the facade. And it was a facade... Something fake that made her avoid her best friend in certain situations. Those certain situations where being around one another made her think of him in ways that were inappropriate and unsafe.

Inappropriate?

Unsafe?

She looked down at the phone in her hand as it glowed to life. His name came across the screen, making only the corners of her mouth lift in a smile. Sliding the bar over, she connected the call, she connected to Killian.

"What's up?" It wasn't quite cheerful, but it held as much pep as she could muster in that moment.

"I realized that I hadn't talked to you today." Killian's voice was a deep, thick, and rich murmur, filling her ear and partially her heart.

The smile was genuine after that initial statement. Her fingers gripped at the bedsheet beneath her, holding tight just as she tilted her head.

"Another busy day," she said softly.

"Me or you, love?" Killian whispered back.

That endearment. His chosen words made it easier to forego the question he'd asked, knowing it was more of a shot at her for ignoring him.

"I'm sure both," Emma said with a sigh.

"I'm sure."

It was short. The words were short. The need- was it a need?- to keep them at arm's length (yes, it was a need) was as apparent as ever…

"Killian?"

She heard him laugh into the phone, a quiet laugh that wasn't infused with much humor.

"I miss you, Emma," he finally confessed to her.

"You… you miss me?" She could feel the instant moment where her mouth went dry at his words and his sentiment. But it wasn't just that. It was…

It was everything. It was her own feelings for him that weren't disappearing as quickly as she needed them to. Even dating wasn't filling the void that was in her heart. It was Ruby and her sudden realization- or meddling, depending on the way she wanted to look at it. It was Killian… Killian and his voice over the phone, quiet and underlying tone of something more.

"Yes, Emma. I miss you." Killian's declaration was every bit as sincere as it possibly could have been.

"I miss you, too." Emma kept her tone light. One of them had to. They both couldn't go to emotional pieces at the mere act of having a phone conversation.

"I would say that we should try to remedy that fact, but then I wonder if it would be a complete waste of time," he admitted quietly. "Your schedule has picked up full speed these last couple of weeks."

"Don't I know about it?" It felt lame, even to herself.

For a moment, the line went dead. Before…

"Why don't you tell me something good, Killian?" It was bubbly. It was as bubbly as she could muster up at that time. "What have I been missing since work and life has gotten in the way of being able to see each other?"

"Well," he started with a huff. "Since you've been busy, it's been up to Liam and Elsa to do some entertaining. Or perhaps it's been my job to come in between the two." He laughed that time, a quiet laugh.

There was something quite genuine about that moment. So much so that Emma found herself smiling.

"What happened?" she asked, because she saw herself being easily caught up in him.

"Oh, their relationship-"

"Their relationship or their friendship?" Emma asked, cutting him off.

"Exactly," Killian murmured. "I don't get it. I don't understand why either one of them is hesitant to come out in the open. You can see it for yourself. It's not that they try very hard to hide the way they feel about one another."

"They just choose to keep it between them and no one else," Emma added quietly. "And that's better than other alternatives, I guess." Her mind drifted, drifted off to that place where hidden feelings could be a person's undoing.

"Other alternatives?" Killian asked softly, a tinge of curiosity in his voice.

"Like-"

"Like if they didn't even have that much?" he asked quickly. "If it was hidden from each other as well and they kept it only to themselves instead of with each other?"

Emma lifted her eyes, settling on a spot on the ceiling.

"That's one alternative," she agreed with him quietly, hoping that it was her imagination when she thought she heard her voice break just a little bit.

"Yes, that sounds quite awful," Killian added just as quietly. He cleared his voice, a quick huff of breath before he continued. "I find myself quite tempted to confront my brother on the matter."

Emma smiled at that, almost rolling her eyes as well. "What would you say to him, Killian? It's their business if they like to stay secretive."

"Perhaps he doesn't like it anymore," Killian suggested easily. She could imagine him lifting a single shoulder in a shrug, and it made her want to see him. "Perhaps… perhaps he just doesn't know how to take it to the next step because... they've been this one way for quite some time."

Her smile faltered and she took a tiny bite of her inner cheek. She could feel the start of her heart. Emma could feel the light moisture beginning to build in the palm of both hands.

"Maybe it's for the best, you know?" she finally said to him. She strived for strength and ease in her voice. She wasn't sure how successful she was with that.

"Why would that be for the best, Emma?" Killian asked, sounding truly confused.

For a second, she shut her mouth tight as she thought about his question.

"Maybe they're happy and they don't need to rock the boat. They have each other. It's only that they don't choose to come out and flaunt their relationship for the world to see."

"And is that what you would want, Emma?" Killian asked her. This time, it sounded as if he was pushing her, trying to get her… somewhere. "To stay in that comfortable spot it life and not dare rock the boat? Is it better that way?"

Emma sat there quietly, her eyes blinking on the wall this time. She didn't like the parallels, she didn't like recognizing those similarities between what she and Killian were going through in comparison to Elsa and Liam. There weren't supposed to be parallels because, no matter what barriers they put up around others, it wasn't hard to see that Elsa and Liam were a happy couple together. That wasn't Emma and Killian. What they were, always had been, were best friends. So the fact that he was asking…

"Sometimes… comfortable is good," she whispered into the phone.

"And other times…" Killian paused, taking in a deep breath and exhaling slowing. "Other times, comfortableness doesn't get you what you really want."

"True…"

Because she still wanted him. Everything that she was doing had yet to take away those feelings she had for him. At least, not enough.

"Killian?" Emma asked quietly.

"Do you have to go, Emma?" There was just a hint of a smile in his teasing voice.

Emma shook her head, her hand closing even firmer over the phone.

"I can't wait to see you again," she confessed. And it was a confession. It was an honest declaration that she wished she hadn't made, wished she didn't have to make.

"I can't wait either," Killian told her. It was firm and resolute. True and real. "Hopefully, it'll be soon."

She nodded to herself. "Yes, hopefully."

Again, the line went silent. She didn't want to concentrate on the way her heart beat rhythmically in her chest, or how her palms were still damp from moisture. What she knew was that she wasn't ready to let him go just yet. She didn't want to run off the phone and be away from him like she'd been for so long.

"Emma?" It was quiet, her name falling from his lips.

"Yes, Killian?" Her head tilted as she waited for his next words.

"How was your day?" he asked her, just as he'd done so many other times in their lives.

Emma almost laughed, feeling happy for this normalcy. She didn't want to concentrate on the rest of those feelings, and she didn't have to.

"You want to hear about my day?" she asked lightly.

"I'd love to hear about your day."

With another quick nod to herself, she let out a tiny sigh. There were other things that, if she was honest, she would admit to wanting in that moment. But what he'd offered?

"My day was great," she began cheerfully. "You'll never believe what August told me…"


	15. Chapter 14

Emma leaned heavily against her apartment door, her feet automatically slipping out of first one high-heeled shoe and then the other. They hurt way too much for only coming away from a subpar date. She didn't mind form-fitting dresses, but the red number she was currently donning would be another accessory she'd be happy to be done with.

She took in a deep breath and held it, rolled her shoulders from back to front, and then exhaled slowly. Hadn't she learned her lesson already about how to dress for these things? They were only meant to be the means to an end, a way out of the house and an excuse for… other things.

Alternating on balling one foot then the other, Emma felt the pain as it began to seep from her body. Leaning down and taking both shoes in her hands, she slowly let herself move away from the door.

Of course she hadn't made it more than three steps when she heard the buzzing of her phone from inside the small clutch purse hanging from her wrist She hefted both shoes under her arm so that she had both hands available to dig inside the purse. Pulling the phone out from inside, she read Killian's name on the screen.

It was after ten o'clock. It was an odd time for him to be calling. It was way too early, considering he'd known she was going out that night. If he called, it was usually either significantly earlier in the day or later at night.

She only hesitated for a second before she connected the call. Shaking out her hair, letting it fall away from her shoulders and onto her back, she placed the phone up to her ear.

"Hello."

"Good, I caught up with you." There was a smile in his voice. "Hi, Emma."

"Killian." She shook her head as her eyes fell on the couch that sat only feet away from her. "I wasn't expecting your call. What's up?" The couch was calling her name. At least for a minute…

"Are you home?" he asked, sounding every bit of hopeful that she had the right answer for him.

Emma smiled, slipping down onto the couch and letting the soft cushions hug her tired body. "I'm home."

"That's good, too," he said softly. She could hear the sudden beeping from his end. She knew that sound. He was in his car… "Because I wanted to stop by and see you." He had opened his door…

"Killian?" Emma's frown was sudden and deep. "Where are you?"

The beeping stop. The sound of jingling keys replaced it.

"I'm outside," he told her quickly. The next sound was the shutting of his car door.

"Outside?" This time, her eyebrows raised sharply. "Outside my apartment?" The sudden increase of her heart rate became too much to go unnoticed.

"I told you that I wanted to come see you, Emma," he reminded her. "I'll be up in a minute, okay?"

What was she supposed to say to that? What _could _she say to that?__

Was she ready to see him? He was leaving her with very little choice in the matter.

"Open the door?" Killian asked breathlessly. "And see in you in a sec."

There was a part of her that wanted to sink down farther into her seat and stay there for as long as she could. The fact that that wasn't a possibility because Killian had literally been right behind her had her rolling her eyes. There was another part of her that craved a little time with her best friend. It was also out of her hands. It wasn't her choice to make. Which made sitting up in her seat and leaning heavily on the armrest all the more easier.

"I'll have the door open for you," Emma told him with a sigh. "See you in a sec."

"Okay."

Emma listened to the phone call disconnect in her ear before she finally pulled the phone away. There wasn't enough time to wonder how prepared she really was to see him. There wasn't time to concentrate on the damp palms that slid down across the armrest of her seat. Killian was downstairs. And she was about to see him…

****

The door opened silently and Emma watched as Killian slipped inside of her apartment. There wasn't quite a smile on his face as he sought her out from across the room, but there was something more about the look she saw there.

It had literally been more than a week, almost two, since she had set eyes on him. The separation had been all at her own doing. But with good reason, right? Of course it was. She knew that she could say that, based on the way she felt her heart swelling up with emotions at just the sight of him now.

Maybe that's why she had stayed away for so long, her physical reaction to him. She knew the answer to that as well. Of course that was why. Of course it was because she still hadn't been able to stop the feelings from rising up from inside her. It would always be a fear of showing too much, of loving too much, of being too much.

"I didn't know you were going to come over," Emma said quietly, in lieu of a greeting. Standing in front of the couch, she placed her hands behind her and onto the armrest before slipping down to sit there.

It was as if he was embracing the darkness of his features. Black hair falling perfectly over his head as if it wasn't late at night. Trimmed beard looking darker than usual, accentuating the paleness of his face and enhancing the pinkness of his lips. There was nothing like seeing Killian Jones in person. She knew that as well. It was one of the reasons she had stayed away. But only one of the reasons…

Killian's attempt at a smile failed, faltering at once. Instead, his mouth twisted down into a frown and his deep blue eyes fell over her. "I thought that a surprise visit would either work fairly well in my favor or be the worst thing that I could have done." He watched her too closely. Way too closely. "I was hoping on the former."

There was a reason why she hadn't seen him in all that time. She knew the exact reason behind it. And it was the look in his eyes as he stuffed his hands in his pockets. It was the total vulnerability that was so easy to read in his demeanor. Vulnerability wasn't something Emma thought she could deal with right now when she, herself, was a total mess of feelings all on her own.

"Well here we are." Her eyes searched for something behind him, finally landing on the door that he had come in through. Other than that…

Killian pulled a hand out of his pocket as he made his way farther into the room, making his way towards her.

"You're just making it home from your date?" he asked softly, his gaze now falling over her. She thought that she was supposed to read more from the gravelly tone and the almost-sad gaze that peeked out for just the briefest of seconds. She didn't let that thought linger….

Emma appreciated the fact that she hadn't lied to him about having a date that night. She appreciated the fact that there was always a valid reason as to why they were separated from one another.

"Yep," she sighed, moving about on the armrest of the couch. She ran the flat of her hand slowly down the front of her dress. "Nothing too significant. Dinner and a movie."

Killian cocked his head to the side, staring down the length of her. The reason he had chosen to take inventory of her was unbeknownst to her.

"New guy?" he asked easily. "Or maybe... this was a second date? Third?"

That was the part that she didn't like. She didn't like the actual dates. She didn't like that it took spending time in other scenarios just so that she could rein in all those thoughts and feelings she'd had for him.

"First date," Emma answered, trying to strive for something light in her tone. She watched as he moved even closer to her, watched as he made his way to stand directly in front of her.

Killian gave a single nod, his lips pursing briefly as he continued to watch her. "You've had a lot of those lately." This time, he offered her a smile and his gaze began to linger again. "You look beautiful, by the way."

Emma opened her mouth to speak, but it was only a smile that seemed to come out. (It was so much easier when he was in London.)

"Thanks, Killian." She felt like a failure when it came to accomplishing being normal in that moment. The need to squirm as she sat there with him right in front of her was almost too hard to ignore. The shift of each hand, one gripping the armrest behind her and the other slipping down the length of her dress, were acts she couldn't control. Neither was the shifting of her feet across the floor.

When he was in England, loving him was okay. Loving him meant that she could be his best friend and silently reminiscence on what it would have been like if she'd realized at eighteen what those feelings truly were and what they meant. It didn't mean that she had to react on anything. In fact, there was no reason why she would ever give more credence to any singular thought that popped into her head. But... he was here now…

It was difficult with him here. If only he knew how difficult it was with him here…

"Was there something that…." The close proximity of him to her made the need to stand up and be on the same level as him grow. She pushed herself off of the couch and slipped past him. "Was there something specific that brought you over here tonight, Killian?" Putting several feet between them, she turned back around to look at him.

She caught his own turn, with a dip of his head and the slow twist of his body, bringing them face to face again. Killian glanced off to the side of her, his hands slipping back into his side pockets.

"I just wanted to talk to you," he said thickly, his gaze finally locking back on hers.

Emma offered him an easy smile, taking a step backwards and creating more space between them.

"I talked to you earlier, Killian," she reminded him.

His posture changed immediately. He seemed to sink into himself at once, his shoulders sagging and his head dipping down to one side. The bend of his knees brought him down in stature as well. She watched as his mouth began to move silently.

Her eyes blinked on him as the confusion ran over her. "What happened?"

This time, he shook his head slowly. "Nothing's happened. I just…" His eyes locked on hers. There was a sadness that glazed over him, before it disappeared, being replaced by something she couldn't name. "I just haven't seen you for quite some time. And… I missed you." His head tilted again. "I miss us."

It left her holding her breath as she felt a tingle run throughout her entire body. The truth and the depth behind his words was easy to see. If Emma hadn't been inside of her own head, she would have picked up on all of those cues. She knew him. So, yes, that was the reason for the need to look at her so intensely. That was the reason for the quiet tone of voice. That was why he was here in that moment with her. He missed her. He missed them.

She missed them, too. She missed everything that made them uniquely them… There were so many different nuances to their relationship that made them who they were to each other and for each other. So… she understood.

"I miss you, too." It wasn't supposed to reveal more than that understanding. It wasn't supposed to unleash all of those hidden feelings, even if only to herself.

Emma watched as he moved then, closing the gap that she had created between them. This time… this time she didn't attempt an escape. This time… she let her feet follow her heart and not her wishy-washy mind.

She wasn't supposed to be wishy-washy about her friendship with Killian. He'd been one of her earliest, most stable relationships in life. No matter what else went through her head and her heart, she wanted that to always be in the forefront of her thoughts.

"Do you want to sit down or something?" Emma asked with a sigh. She lifted her eyebrows in expectation and waited.

There was a look of… maybe worry and reservation covering his features. Strong steps became a bit weaker as he made his way closer to her.

It was all her fault. She had let herself get mixed into the predicament she found herself in. Even when she had just told herself what she needed to do, what she had to do, it still wasn't easy to follow through.

Emma kept the confused frown from covering her features. Her hands flexed wide over the small of her back as she stood there in front of him, waiting.

"Sure," Killian murmured. Eyes that ran across her face fell and swept around towards the couch behind him. "We can catch up on everything." He looked back at her, his hand lifted out between them, palm up.

She was supposed to take his hand. It took her only a split second of indecision, and the thought of progression over regression, before she slipped her hand in his.

Warm. Firm. Secure.

Killian led the way, turning around and heading back to the couch where she had been sitting earlier.

For a moment… it all disappeared. Every single bit of the indecision left her. Emma knew why that was immediately. It was because, for a brief moment, with him holding her hand and leading the way, it was the way things had always been between them. It was her, not feeling the need to put up walls where it came to who they were. They just… were.

For a moment… Emma wondered why she had let herself put up barriers between them. Why she had ran away from him and stayed away as best as she could. Why had there been a need after everything…

But in reality… She knew she didn't have to ask those questions. Watching him turn around towards her, watching him take hold of both of her hands now as they both sunk down on the couch, the reasons sprung right in between them. All of those feelings that she tried to keep harbored were trying bubbling tight to the surface.

"It feels like it's been forever." Killian let one of his hands slip out from under hers. "Talking on the phone isn't quite…" That hand came up slowly towards her cheek, pressing against it softly. "The same as talking and seeing you in person."

She could agree with that. Emma offered him a smile and she tightened her fingers around his.

"You're right," she told him with a small nod.

His eyes made a path across her face until they locked on hers. His lips pursed for a moment and his eyebrows drew together.

She didn't know what she wanted. She didn't know what she could have. He was her best friend and she wished… she wished that she could only focus on that fact.

"How are you, Killian?" Emma asked quietly. She had been able to successfully and continuously put space between them for nearly two weeks. But he was here now and she didn't want space to separate her from her friend. "How have you been?"

Killian smoothed his hand down her cheek until he no longer touched her. Pulling back, easing into his seat, he continued to look at her.

"I've been fine," he finally told her, a firm nod accompanying his words.

Emma's lips curled into a smile. There was something that didn't quite fit, something that threw his words of kilter.

"Missing you, but…"

His playful tone widened her smile into a grin, his admission a bit telling. Things had always been easy with Killian. There was a part of her that wanted that constant ease to come back, no matter what the consequences were. No matter if it meant living with a deep desire that refused to leave her core. Wasn't their friendship worth it?

"I've missed you, too," Emma confessed again. There were no barriers as it left her mouth. It was a moment of pure truth and honesty and _love _. A moment that she was happy that he hadn't truly picked up on. .__

"Have you?" Killian's stare intensified and he rolled his lips inward.

It was his tone of voice and the way he looked right at her with that caused her to swallow thickly.

"Just as much as you missed me," Emma assured him. It came out as a whisper, and not nearly as strong as it should have. She had a feeling that in reality, she beat him when it came to missing the other one.

This time, there was a tight smile that crossed his face. Killian gave a single shake of his head before both arms raised and he began to move closer to her. Those arms wrapped around her, hugging her tightly against him.

Emma felt the squeeze of her eyes shutting, just as her own arms closed around his neck. She hadn't hugged him in… The sound escaping from her could have been considered a whimper while her arms tightened around him. How many times in all those years that he was away in England did she wish that she could have had him just like this? So why had it been so easy to take away all those chances in the last two weeks as she ignored so much of him?

"Sorry. I just…" His words were only a murmur in her ear as he held her tighter.

"I know." Her eyes squeezed together even tighter, her fingers digging into his hair as she kept him close. "I know."

It was only for a moment longer, just a few more seconds, that they sat like that. Then Killian began to pull away, loosening his grip on her and finally finding his own side of the couch again.

Yes, it was a lot easier when he had been away in London… Emma felt the purse of her lips as she looked at him. She attempted a smile, but… maybe it was her heart that stopped her from mustering one up.

Killian smiled. A tiny lift of the corners of his mouth.

"So… how was your date tonight?" he asked, a lift of an eyebrow accompanying the question.

It was one thing to be happy and bubbly about the dates she'd been on from over the phone. It was something else to have him right in front of her.

"Like I said, nothing really significant." she told him again. "It was just a date. It was just…. something to do." Emma, feeling the need to stand up, did just that. Her bare feet padded away from the couch, creating a space between them. Again.

"Something to do," Killian murmured.

Emma turned around so that she faced him. She watched as he, too, began to stand up from his seat.

"Yeah, just something to do," she agreed quietly.

Killian nodded again, his eyes watching the floor as he made his way over to her.

"I guess… I get it." His eyes lifted and they met hers. "Perhaps."

"I mean…" Emma found herself taking in a deep breath and letting it out. "It puts me in new situations. It gets me out of the house. And that's a good thing, right?"

Killian was silent, only watching her with a look of pure interest.

She was doing the right thing. She had to have been doing the right thing. Even if he agreed with her half-heartedly. Even if he agreed only because that's what a best friend would do… Looking at him now, looking at her best friend, she felt something come over her.

"Lately, every new guy, every new dating scenario... It reminds me of…" Emma shut her mouth and let her gaze fall over his face, trying to keep her eyes from growing wide.

"What?" There was a change in the way he looked at her. He stepped closer, the questioning nature only growing on his face.

Her eyebrows lifted. "Do you remember?" They'd never mentioned it. Not really, since that night when pleasing parents had driven them to the point of social functioning in the high school setting. "Nothing." She shook her head. "I was just thinking about… how the years are passing by."

"Do I remember what, Emma?" He looked like a blank slate, open to hearing whatever might fall from her lips. He was close. Again.

Emma looked up at him. For a moment, she only watched as his eyes traveled across her face.

"Do you ever wish that things would have worked out between you and Elizabeth?" she asked instead of mentioning her real thoughts.

Killian's eyes blinked at her then, but he stayed wordless.

"I mean, you dedicated four years of your life to her," Emma continued, her head tilting just so.

"It was-"

"Off and on?"

"Off and on…"

"Still." Emma consciously lifted her lip in an attempt at smiling. "That was a lot of time to invest in one woman. It never crossed your mind to… I mean…" It was her turn to blink her eyes at him.

"Almost thirty, so why not make it official?"

It surprised her. Maybe it shouldn't have surprised her. The way he tilted his head in question. The way his eyes crossed the whole of her face, but lingered at her eyes. Did he…

Her smile became bigger that time. "So you do remember. "

This time, those blue eyes lifted towards the ceiling. It was such a throwback to that night in the school parking lot. _She _remembered. She would never forget…__

"You mean when you kind of _proposed _to me in the school parking lot that night after we ran out of that dance?" Now it was his eyes doing the dancing, back on her.__

Emma found herself squinting at him as she tried to contain the grin that was trying to take over her face.

"I didn't… _propose. _It was a pact- a pact, Killian." She didn't know what to name those feelings that had been running through her. All she knew now was that she felt at ease.__

"Aye, that it was." His teeth scraped over his bottom lip, but the smile was still visible.

Emma lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "Not one that I've taken seriously. That's not why I asked. It's just… interesting to go back to where my thoughts were at that point in my life and to see where I am now. And it made me wonder about you."

"If… the whole point of that pact still rang true?" he asked softly. "Like the fact that no one will ever understand me the way that you do?"

"That was the gist of it," Emma whispered, her eyes again on his.

She hadn't expected the change. She had always known that she would love him forever. She hadn't expected that love to be more than best friend forever kind of a love. What she felt for Kilian, what she had been fighting against, was an all-consuming kind of a love. With him looking at her, with his eyes warm and attentive... she didn't know how to make it go away.

"No one will ever understand me the way that you do, Emma." It was still soft.

There was something about the way he looked at her. Something that made her know there was more. But maybe… maybe she wasn't ready…

"No one who has ever passed through my life has ever meant more to me than you do, Emma." His fingers were slow and careful as they came to hold and wrap around strands of her hair that had fallen across her cheek. "From the day you came and saved me from not only those boys, but from myself, I knew that you would forever change my life. And you have." He shook his head. "No one else has… No one else has… loved me the way you do. Or accepted me the way that you do."

He didn't realize what he was doing to her right now. He didn't know that he was making her heart start then stutter, over and over again. Because he didn't know how far that love had transcended. He didn't know. He didn't realize.

"Maybe it's just a rarity." Emma moved then, taking a step back and away from him. It was almost like a spell. It had to be broken.

"Perhaps. I'm only happy that I have it with you."

She looked back then to find a look on his face that she couldn't quite read.

"I've never been able to be open with anyone the way I have with you either, Killian." There was a part of her that knew she should have left those words only as thoughts. But… "No one has ever gotten me the way that you have. No one has accepted me and… cheered for me… and… _loved _me the way that you do. Not the way that you do." Maybe it was now her own doing, that heart thing…__

They both fell silent. The room was silent. Her heart was racing. Because…

"Emma…" Killian's face became a frown. He took one step forward to slightly close the gap between them. "Emma?" Her name was a question this time.

She had questions herself…

Did he know? Did he have an inkling to what was between them?

"I love you, Killian." It came out in a rush of air, leaving her nearly depleted because... it was different this time. It wasn't like the same as she had said it every day for the past decade. She had fought so hard to not let it show for so long, but… It was different this time.

Did he realize that it was different this time? The thought that she'd let her heart take over and for even a moment left her in despair because...

"I love you, Emma."

Killian's declaration felt different to her as well. Why?

_Why?_

__

__

He stood in front of her and she still didn't know.

"I love you."

Her heart…

"I love you, too."

Emma watched as his tongue poked out of his mouth and the way it licked at his lip. She watched as his head dipped down towards her. She watched, with heart racing, as his fingertips grazed her cheek while he moved closer still. It was the way his nose bumped against hers that almost made her...

"Emma."

She still couldn't bring herself to close her eyes as his lips reached hers. Even the simple brush of lips to lips, it tugged deeply at her womb and caused a shiver to run through her body.

She'd never…

His lips stayed there on hers for a solid second. Before she felt him slip away.

No. Emma clasped her hand over his, holding him against her cheek. She blinked her eyes up at him, her breaths already escaping in shallow pants.

"Killian."

His name was swallowed as his mouth opened on hers. Followed soon by the swallowing of her guttural moan.

He'd never…

Emma tilted her head, angling her mouth in hopes of being able to taste more of him. She'd never tasted him before. Her eyes fell closed at the feel of his immediate response. The fingers at her cheek caressed her softly. His body flushed against hers. All while exploring her mouth with his kiss. They were soft kisses. Half open-mouthed kisses… as he sipped at her lips with such a slow ease.

Her body quaked against his. Quaked. The need to grip at him, to hold him close to her, overtook her. Her fingers strained against the front of his shirt, holding tight and pulling herself tighter against him.

Killian. This was Killian.

Was it a mistake?

It was the need to know what this was that forced her to step back, to put space between them.

"Emma?"

She opened her eyes slowly, afraid to see what she would find. Her love had transcended beyond friendship. That was scary. Because he was her best friend, but even that term didn't truly define what their bond was like.

If there was ever a time that they mirrored each other's reactions, it was now. Emma could see the fear and uncertainty and… love... mixed together on his face and in his stance. But what did that mean? What was he feeling? After kissing her…

"I've never kissed you before," Killian whispered. His eyes darted across her face. "Not like that."

"Why did you?" She loved him. She'd always loved him.

"I thought that... perhaps you felt the same way that I did." It was a whispered confession that sounded true, but somewhat doubtful. "Emma…"

Did he…

"Killian."

She found herself diving into his arms, her own arms finding his neck and twisting there. It had never been a real thought. That it could be reciprocated…

"Are… you sure?" It left her mouth as her eyes widened on his.

Killian's fingers pushed their way through her hair, holding tightly to the mass. His eyes were wide as he shook his head.

"Emma." There was a shimmer to the bluer than blue eyes. "No one else… but you."

This time, it was her lips that sought out his. This time, it was her lips that took his in a kiss. This time, as Killian pushed his fingers even deep into her hair as he kissed her deeper than she knew to be possible, she melted into him. Again.


	16. Chapter 15

"This feels so natural to me." Emma's eyes fell closed at the feel of Killian's lips pressing against her bare shoulder.

"It is almost as if this was what it was supposed to have been the entire time," Killian murmured in agreement. His hand gripped at her hip as his lips made a path over her shoulder and up to her neck. "How many times have we shared a bed like this?"

"Well, never like _this _." The feel of his lips pressing a kiss against the skin right under her ear made Emma grasp the arm that was draped over her even tighter.__

Not in a million years, would she have expected for things to turn out the way they did. She never imagined she would be laying there in her bed with Killian leaning down over her, his arm wrapped around her as his lips left soft kisses over different parts of her body. She would have never expected that the words _Perhaps you felt the same way that I did _or _No one else but you _would fall out of his mouth in reference to her. But they had.____

Emma watched as Killian pushed himself away from her. There was something uniquely different in that look in his eyes, something unique about the smile that crossed his face. She felt her own smile taking form as she watched him.

"Emma."

He hadn't moved to allow space between them, but had moved so that he could really look at her. That was obvious as his hand slid between the small space between them and he took ahold of her own hand.

"I love you." It was only a whisper, but the emotions and the truth that those three words evoked… "I am in love with you, Emma." This time, the words were almost choked out.

She felt the dampness in her palms. It didn't matter. She tightened her fingers around his while she tried to keep her eyes free of tears. It wasn't so easy as thoughts flooded her mind of the lifetime worth of memories she'd shared with him. She hadn't known that day in the cafeteria. She hadn't known that the shy and quiet new kid, who was also a transplant, would change her world forever. She hadn't known that he would immerse himself in her life and her heart. But he had…

"I'm in love with you, Killian." It came out as a rush of air, leaving her feeling content and overwhelmed at the same time.

For a moment, from across a short distance, they did nothing but watch each other. It was a moment where reality washed over the both of them. A reality that included two best friends of fifteen years being in love with one another, openly and honestly.

It was Emma who finally moved. Eyes blinking on the man she loved and the man who loved her, she threw her arm around his shoulder, lifting herself up in the process. She hadn't had time to reach for a kiss before he'd ducked his head down, meeting her mouth with his own.

Kissing Killian…

It wasn't a peck on the cheek or even a peck on the lips….

There was something quite endearing about the way his mouth slid across hers. Lips parting, he kissed her with a slow and intense passion. It still held a hint of exploration as he tilted his head and alternated between sipping at her bottom lip and gently nibbling at it.

Emma wasn't dreaming. It felt as if it should have been a dream, the way Killian's arms held her close. But, as he slipped from lying on his side to his back bringing her with him, she knew that it wasn't.

He left her breathless. Her best friend, his lips sliding across her cheek and making their way down her neck, left her utterly breathless.

"It was that day at your house." Killian's soft murmur came from close by her ear, deep and full of those same emotions.

"Hm?" Emma gripped her hands around either arm as she pulled herself closer against his body. Tilting her head back, she looked down at him with a question on her face. "What was that?" It was hard not to smile. She loved him. He knew that she loved him.

Killian dug his head into the pillow beneath him. There was a twinkle in his eye as he watched her.

"It was that day I found out we were going back to England." His eyes were on the move, tracking bits and pieces of her closely. "That's when I realized that…that I was in love with you."

If his kisses hadn't done the job properly beforehand, his words sealed the deal. Emma could barely take in the small breath of surprise as she looked into his eyes.

"That's when you knew?" It came out on a tiny whispered breath, as much as she could muster in that moment.

"That's when I knew," Killian whispered quietly, barely even audible to her ears.

It did something to her heart. Emma had never let herself believe…

"It was a childish fantasy." She refused to shed a tear in that moment, but the emotions coursing through her were mounting. "It was supposed to be a childhood fantasy."

Killian tilted his head to the side, his hand came up to caress her cheek softly.

"Don't tell me that you felt the same way I did all those years ago," he muttered, amusement lacing his voice. But there was something else there as well as his eyes darted across her face.

Emma leaned into that hand stroking softly against her skin, fighting the urge to close her eyes once more.

"I…" Her mouth opened wider, attempting to speak past the emotions so that she could share with him. "I… didn't know… what it was." Her smile widened. "You meant the world to me back then. I just… I just hadn't experienced that… before. So… so it wasn't until…" Emma took in a deep breath and stared intently into the face of the man she loved. "I almost lost you that I realized what it was." She shook her head this time. "My extent to knowing what love was… was Neal."

"Bloody hell, Emma." There was contempt in Killian's voice as he wrapped an arm tightly around her back. "Neal bloody Cassidy." He shook his head quickly, that arm tightening around her.

Containing her smile was… impossible. Looking away from the man that she loved was… impossible.

" _That's _what you want to focus on, huh?" Emma asked, a laugh almost bubbling out of her.__

Killian's leg shifted from underneath her and his gaze softened into something else.

"No," he answered, almost smiling. "I want to focus on the part where you were in love with me at that point in time. In love with me."

Emma understood exactly what he meant by that…

"I think that… I've always been in love with you, Killian," she told him. It came out as a whisper again. Not because she had meant for it to. It was everything about that moment. "I just didn't know that it was possible."

"And now?" Killian's head left the pillow, his lips reaching up for hers and kissing her gently right there.

It was more than possible. As his hand slipped down the back of her leg and gripping at it firmly, it was definitely a reality.

"And now… I don't ever want to let you go," Emma admitted against his lips.

The grip over her leg became even tighter and Killian pressed himself against her, holding them closely together.

"I think it hit me the moment I saw you outside the bar that night I returned," he murmured up at her. Killian tilted his head again as he searched her face. "I… let it all go while I was away. We were apart, but you were the best thing in my life. It was a childhood fancy of mine that I didn't know could ever mean more."

Emma's smile was timid, almost shy. She never thought that she would reveal all of her past feelings for him. She never thought that he would have a past to share with her.

"It wasn't so easy for me to let go even after you were gone," she admitted. "I was still very much in love with you. But I agree: we were apart. You were my best friend. That was all that truly mattered."

The look on his face intensified, watching her closely as he kept her close. He truly hadn't known that she had felt that way. She hadn't known that he felt the way he did either, so….

"When you came back…" Emma sighed. She lifted her hand to caress his bearded cheek. "When you came back, I knew it wasn't only a little girl crush that I had held on to. Everything that I thought I had been feeling for you was real."

"Which is why you stayed away," Killian deduced, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Things were progressing," Emma admitted. She shook her head. "Didn't you see that?"

Killian smiled that time. "I saw that. Again, it felt like a natural thing." He shook his head slowly. "It felt as if we were on a path to somewhere, even if we hadn't defined it."

Emma smiled back at him. She felt the twinkle that was certainly in her eyes in that moment. "Do you think that if I hadn't pushed myself away from you, this would have happened anyway?"

Killian smoothed his hand down her back as he wrapped his ankle around hers, locking them together.

"I liked kissing you, even if they were brief kisses on the cheek," he finally told her. "I liked sharing a bed with you and having the chance to hold you all night long. I liked waking up with you like that as well."

His confessions earned him another kiss. Lowering her smiling lips over his, she gently nibbled at his bottom lip before kissing him softly. A soft kiss that, at a gentle urging from him, turned into something more.

Killian Jones was confident and unwavering as he closed his arms around her and flipped her onto her back. Emma slipped her arms around his neck, loving not only having him atop her but also this side to him that was new to her. Had this aspect of their friendship always been missing? How?

"Killian?"

His mouth had been on the move, sliding down her cheek, to her neck, to her shoulder.

"Hm?"

Emma widened the space between her legs, leaving him enough room to fit perfectly there. Her hands moved over his arms, feeling a sudden need to make sure he was as real as she hoped he was.

"I love you, Killian," she sighed. Her hand moved down across his arms, her fingers flexing. She took his hand in her own and squeezed tight. "I love you."

He squeezed back as he pulled himself over her once again so that he could look right at her.

"I love you, too, Emma."

It was the same, she realized as his mouth fell over hers again. It was the same love that she'd always received from him. It was just… more this time. She could handle more.

As his free hand began to dip down in between the barely there space between their bodies on its way to… As he kissed her breathless for the countless time that night… As she writhed beneath his body in anticipation of more…

Emma realized that not only could she handle more, she wanted more.

****

She wondered how long she had been asleep. The only thing that she was sure about was the fact that it couldn't have been that long.

It felt like a dream. It felt like a dream that she'd had plenty of times in her life. Too many to even count.

Emma had woken up with him beside her in his own bed. She had woken up to him in her bed many times since he'd been back. This time was different. This time… was a lot different.

Her eyes opened to a darkened room. She began wondering, too, if she should just try to get used to the idea of her breathing such shallow breaths when she was around him.

She liked the way Killian's body curved into hers. From behind her, his chest was bare and aligned with her own. It was the feel of his hand, though, that she was sure had awakened her. A hand that pressed flat against her stomach, his palm directly over her belly button. The movement of that hand was minute, but it was there.

Minute…

Emma smiled to herself, her gaze falling across to the other side of the room. Slipping her hand from its resting spot on the mattress, she was slow to move it up towards his.

She heard his small huff as he laid his bearded chin against her shoulder, massaging that particular spot in a small and slow circle. She could feel just a hint of his breathing dancing over her skin. But... it was his hand that kept her attention. A hand that had no problem pressing firmly against her stomach. Emma smoothed her fingers over the back of his hand, loving being able to feel him feel her. If he wanted…

Killian's chin against her shoulder became a light brush of his lips. Just a brief press to her skin before they slipped away then it was the press of his cheek.

It was his pinky that finally reached the waistband of the boy shorts she was wearing. She got it. She understood his pause, his decision to stay just like that. But even the feel of the tip of his finger sliding across the rigid band of her shorts had Emma's eyes closing and her breath leaving her body as a sigh. She wanted…

Emma flexed her fingers over his hand, matching his position finger for finger. With her body already curved into his, she pushed her leg in between his as she hugged herself even closer to him. The small but noticeable intake of breath he'd inhaled put another smile on her face. It was only a small smile as her mind conjured up thoughts of the shy side of her best-friend-turned…

The smile turned into an open-mouthed silent gasp at the feel of the sudden and surprising press of Killian's hardened body against her. Her eyes closed on their own volition, a muted whimper escaping from her at the same time Killian pressed another kiss to her shoulder.

Locking her ankle around his wasn't enough. Pressing her body back into his, hearing the now harsh intake of breath from him, wasn't enough. The barely there slip of his pinky just underneath the waistband of her shorts wasn't enough. Not for her nearly-quaking body.

Emma felt the need to turn towards him. Twisting at the shoulder, turning her head in his direction, she found him waiting on her. His lips dropped down over hers, offering her an open-mouthed kiss.

She loved his kisses. Already, she loved the tender way he kissed her.

When he pulled away from her, when his lip fell only an inch or so from hers… she wished that she could see him better. She wished that she could have seen what was in his eyes.

When she felt the slip of his hand, slowly separating from hers as it slipped inside both her shorts and her panties… There was less of a need to see Killian's eyes, as her own closed at the feel of his fingers discovering a part of her that was entirely new to him.

Her moan mixed with his in that same instance. Thinking became more of a chore after that …

"Emma?"

She went willingly as he began to turn her side to lay flat on her back. Her eyes opened again, making out as much of his as she could.

Killian's hand had stilled right there, his fingers lightly curving over her skin.

"I love you, Emma." The whispered declaration had that new connotation to it.

She knew him. She knew him better than anyone else knew him. She knew him, and she understood.

"I love you, too, Killian." It was a soft whisper as well, full of everything that she had held in for far too long. She reached for him then, both arms lifting up and finding his neck. Pulling herself up to him, her lips caught his in another kiss, bringing him back down to the bed with her.

He fit perfectly between her opened legs. Slow and simple pecks of lips to lips turned into something more heated and lingering. Pulling his hand out from inside of her shorts, Killian took hold of her by the thighs, hitching her body against his hardened body.

It was different this time. It wasn't like earlier. Emma felt that instinctively. It wasn't just about an exploration of his lips and mouth. It wasn't just about feeling this new and distinctive way his body felt against hers… It was more.

Tightening her thighs even more around him, lifting her body off the bed in attempts to feel more of him, Emma let her arms fall away from Killian's neck. Her fingers made their way across his shoulders and down his back.

A growl escaped from somewhere down deep within Killian. His kiss became a bite on her bottom lip, before sucking it into his mouth.

"Emma?" Her name was a question as his forehead came to rest on hers. Even though his hands on her hips pressed her middle once again into his, there was a pause in action from him.

She loved this man with all of her heart…

"What?" she whispered back.

"I might've…" Killian lifted his forehead from hers. Even in the dark, it was easy to tell that his eyes were solely on hers. "Not come over here as… prepared as I should've."

Emma's eyes widened instantly on him, a smile curving onto her face. Yes, she loved this man with all of her heart…

"Um…" She took just a second to plant a quick kiss to his lips. "Bottom drawer of my dresser, right-hand side, under the socks."

"Bottom drawer, right-hand side, under the socks," Killian murmured back.

He couldn't see, but her eyes were twinkling on him as she nodded.

"Yeah."

Emma did see the nod. With a quick squeeze of her thigh, Killian detached her from himself and raised up from the bed.

He didn't make it far before… He planted a hand to her cheek, angling her face so that he could press a kiss to her lips.

It was everything about that moment. Every single damn thing about that moment! Emma thought she had known happiness, fulfillment. In that single moment, she realized just how much she had been missing out on.

**** 

"Your phone is ringing." The mutter in her ear came on the heels of having him tighten his hold on her at the waist.

It was then that Emma heard the plain ring of her phone that was sounding off from somewhere near the bed. It didn't persuade her to move out of Killian's embrace any sooner. The feel of his chest hugged closely to her body, the feel of arms looped around her waist, and the feel of his bearded chin scratching against her shoulder… She'd never been more content when waking up from a deep sleep.

"It'll stop," she assured him. She found herself grounding her body all the more closely against his, the warmth of being like that almost feeling too good.

The change within their friendship- their relationship- was already palpable. It was almost unbelievable. Why would she want to disturb it with anything?

That bearded chin rubbed against the curve of her shoulder, beginning to make its way down her arm. It was only the press of his lips back against her shoulder that stopped him from moving farther.

"Good morning, love." It was breathed softly against her skin before another kiss ghosted over her shoulder.

The shiver was involuntary, but spoke of everything about that moment.

"Good morning, Killian," Emma whispered back. With a smile lighting her face, she began to twist around in his arms.

She'd found herself in this exact position several times over the past couple of months, but this was something different. Something quite different.

Emma felt the spread of her smile as she looked into those blue eyes. There wasn't a reason to feel shy or timid, but…. She watched as his pulled in closer to her. She felt the way her eyes began to drift close as she waited for his…

The buzz of the doorbell brought a pause to that intimate moment between them. Emma lifted her eyes and glanced in the direction of her bedroom door, her mind already trying to put together who it could have been right outside her apartment.

"Looks like maybe you should've answered the phone after all," Killian mused. His gaze had followed hers, turning his head towards the door.

From the bedroom, the banging on the door was muted.

"I don't think you'll get rid of that as easily," he continued, turning back towards her.

Emma fought the need to roll her eyes. Instead, she rolled out of the bed from her side (her side). Was it Ruby? On a Sunday morning?

"I have no clue…" Her eyes scanned the whole of the room until they fell on her phone on the dresser. Moving across the floor, she scurried over to grab up the phone and… "It's August. I have to go let him in."

Emma was treated to a good peek of Killian as he sat up in her bed, the sheets hitting him just at the waist. Ridiculously cute bed hair swirled around his head, and he knew it. His fingers sifted through the hair on the top of his head as he lifted one eyebrow in her direction.

"August, hm." His eyes shone bright as his head tilted to the side. "Must be important."

Emma fought the urge in her once more, choosing to poke her tongue out at him instead of rolling her eyes.

"Must be." She only took a second to smile at him again. Then she was began making her way out of the bedroom.

If it hadn't been for the three attempts of trying to get her attention, Emma would have stopped to at least drop a kiss on Killian's lips. August's persistence was what drove her towards the door. Maybe even the idea of getting him on his way so that she could enjoy her Sunday morning with the man who was currently in her bed…

She hadn't even attempted to get dressed past the t-shirt and boy shorts she had eventually slept in. Self-consciously, Emma pressed her fingers through her own hair, her eyes opening wider with the need to cover herself up. She didn't have anything to wrap herself up in, so instead she tugged haphazardly at the hem of her shirt, making an effort at having some kind of control of the situation.

Slipping close against the door, Emma twisted at the locks and then pulled at the door knob.

"August."

_Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed _was what came to mind as she looked at her brother. Already donning a dress shirt and slacks, his was neatly groomed at… She hadn't had time to look at the clock on her phone. What time was it?__

"I called you." His greeting was a little less informal than her own. "You didn't pick up."

Emma couldn't argue with that. Stepping aside from the doorway, she opened the door wider to allow for him to come in.

"You didn't really give me much of a chance," Emma said slowly, turning around as she watched him make his way inside the apartment. "I can't say that I'm as awake as you seem to be."

"Emma, I know it's Sunday, but…."

"This is about your book, August?" She felt the instantaneous lift of her brows at her question.

"I'm sending it off tomorrow," he reminded her. His hand shot out, a flash drive dangling from a chain that hung from around his finger. "I need your help before I do."

Emma tried to muster up a smile. "This early in the morning?"

August's gaze narrowed on her, his hands slowly coming together as he tilted his head.

"Well, I wouldn't call nearly noon to be _early _."__

_Nearly noon?_

__

__

His eyes were on the move, finally taking more of her in. "Emma?"

She felt the way her mouth slipped open. Nearly noon… She'd left her phone back in the bedroom, but she guessed that she didn't need it. The amount of light filtering into the room, peeking out from beneath closed blinds…

It had been a fairly long night. Emma didn't even know what time it was that they had finally fallen asleep. Apparently, it was late because… neither had noticed the sun rising or the morning drifting away from them.

"Um…" Grabbing at the hem of her shirt once more, Emma took silent steps away from the door.

"Long night?" There was something a bit mischievous in his voice. In his eyes as well, she saw as she threw a look his way.

"I guess." It was a murmur as she tried to keep her mind focused on the present instead of slipping away to that night. Her fingertips came up slowly to sift through her hair. "Something like that."

Emma heard the thump of padded feet hitting the floor before she actually saw Killian come into view just around the corner of the hallway.

"Well now I understand." August voice perked up as he took notice of her guest.

He'd had the forethought to don the undershirt he'd worn the night before and a pair of his shorts that he would have found in a drawer somewhere. Looking at him, meeting his eyes from across the span of the room, put an instant smile on her face.

"Good morning, August." Killian's gaze slid over to her brother just then.

"I guess we can say that for a few more minutes."

Emma bit down on her lip, finding it more productive than rolling her eyes. She didn't know what to do with her hands. She didn't know if she was supposed to follow her initial thought and reach for Killian like she wanted to. Instead, her hands slipped over her lower back as she shared a look between the two men.

"Um…" Her eyes opened wide on August, who looked at her just then. "You wanted me to look some stuff over for you?"

August's body seemed to slump as he was brought back to his reason for being there.

"Yes, Emma," he sighed in exasperation. "I would've emailed the document to you, but I wanted to see if you could make it a priority. And…" He lifted a shoulder in an easy shrug. "I thought this would be the safest bet to make."

She hadn't expected her brother. As Emma's gaze slid from August to find Killian once more, she realized that there were many unexpected things to happen in her recent life.

"August…" She began to shake her head slowly.

Killian moved just then. Never breaking eye contact with her, there was a hint of a smile curving his lips.

"I can put on a pot of coffee," he suggested, almost reaching her in no time at all. "I can prepare a late breakfast while you start getting to work with August."

Emma fought the urge to look at her brother just then.

"That sounds… great." The stammer wasn't as easily fought off.

Killian was close. She liked him being that close. With a nod of his head, his smile grew.

"First, I'm going to jump into the shower, if that's okay with you." It was his turn to lift an eyebrow.

"Oh, go right ahead." Emma shook her head. "That's fine."

The smile became impossibly huge as he nodded once more. It was followed up with his fingers slipping through hers and a soft press of his lips to her forehead.

Emma's eyes closed at the feel of him, a light shudder running through her. It was her turn to smile, letting her body lean in closer to his. It was new, this thing between them. That wasn't the reason for the butterflies fluttering around inside her stomach.

"I'll be right out," Killian murmured against her skin. Another kiss was planted firmly on her lips.

If it had lingered… she wouldn't have minded… Emma opened her eyes again just in time to see, as well as feel, his body leave hers. She watched him go, watched him turn back around with only the briefest of nods to August while he was on his way towards the hallway.

It was only then, mouth falling slightly open, that Emma looked at her brother.

August's thumb came up to swipe slowly across his bottom lip, his eyebrows knitting together as his gaze took her in from head to toe.

"Is there something… you wanted to…" Both shoulders hunched into a shrug while his mouth twisted. "I don't know... Maybe tell me?" It was soft and full of amusement.

Emma could feel the amusement and excitement running through her as well. She found herself taking in a deep and sudden breath just then. Her eyes blinked on her brother as thoughts rushed through her mind.

"Killian and I…" She found her eyes making a path towards her hallway before she looked back at him. "We're... together now." Her head tilted involuntarily, waiting warily on her brother's reaction.

That thumb passed over his cheek in long broad strokes, but other than that…

She wasn't accustomed to living on baited breath when it came to August, but…

"Well." His eyes blinked on her, his lip slightly poking up. "It's about goddamn time."

A/N: Only one more chapter to go, and then the epilogue. I'm so happy that everyone is enjoying this story!:)


	17. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just been a procrastinator. Sorry! Here's the final chapter. I almost want to promise that the epilogue will be up in under a week. This is a shorter chapter. Which may have been part of the reason I wanted to get through the epilogue before posting this...

"First official date night." Ruby's squeal was close to Emma's ear.

Emma hadn't realized how small her bathroom actually was until they had attempted to cram herself, Ruby, and a very pregnant Mary Margaret inside. She wasn't used to being fussed over either. She wasn't used to the waving magical hands of Ruby as she meticulously curled and layered each strand of Emma's hair. She wasn't used to the delicate hands of Mary Margaret as she perfectly applied a minimum of makeup to highlight Emma's features. She just wasn't used to be fussed over in this way. Not over a simple date. But… it wasn't just a simple date. Ruby was right: it was her first official date with Killian Jones.

It took every fiber in her to stand still as her friends worked on her. Emma was… on cloud nine.

Dating Killian Jones was going to be something different. Even their first date would be unique to them. It wouldn't be like any of those previous first dates that she had crammed into existence in the previous weeks. There wouldn't be dinner at some fancy or posh restaurant. There wasn't going to be the predictable night in a movie theatre. No, those weren't needed. There was a history between Emma and Killian. There was a pre-existence that didn't call for pretense of this kind of a date or that kind of a date. There wasn't a need for the pretense of getting to know each other. They already knew each other. Not that there wasn't room to grow. In five days… In five days, she had already learned so much more about the man who had been in her life for fifteen years already.

There was a tingle that ran through her entire body at that thought. There was a small smile that lifted the corners of her mouth as her mind turned to focus on those new intimate details that she hadn't known all those years. She focused on how those similar brushes of his fingertips to her skin felt unique and blissfully different from other times.

"Are you nervous, Emma?" Mary Margaret asked softly, stepping back and observing the job she had done. Her own gaze spoke of an excitement for her friend that was impossible to miss.

Emma's mouth barely had the opportunity to open before she felt the slight tug on her hair, pulling it tightly behind her.

"Of course she's nervous," Ruby chimed in happily. "Just look at her."

Pressing her lips together, a tight smile crossed Emma's face.

"Maybe a little," she confessed, looking right at Mary Margaret.

"See?" Even in that one word the teasing was evident in Ruby's voice. Her hands went back to perfecting coiffing Emma's hair from behind.

"But… I'm definitely more excited than I am nervous, to be perfectly honest," she also confessed. "I mean… I don't even know why I should be nervous. It's Killian."

"It's Killian in a whole new light though," Mary Margaret reminded her.

"Well, probably not in an entirely new light." There was something mischievous about the way Ruby said that, even from behind.

Emma turned her head, attempting to get a good look at her friend.

"It's been five days." Her tone was now a mixture of all-knowing combining with that mischief now. "I'm guessing that even though you've waited this long for a first date, there are other perks that come from turning friendship into a relationship, that you haven't put off for nearly a week."

Ruby's sing-song declaration had a blush rising up from Emma's neck and over her face. She was quick to turn back around, to turn away from the sudden wolfish glint in her friend's eyes as if she expected confirmation.

"Really, Ruby?"

Emma caught sight of the wide-eyed look of disbelief on Mary Margaret's face. The innocence of it all should have eased her embarrassment, but it surprisingly had the opposite effect.

"So you weren't wondering the same thing, Mary Margaret?" she huffed. "I mean, take in account what they're doing on their first date." She pressed herself closer behind Emma, her voice growing conspiratorially as she added, "Why do you think the majority of this date is taking place in Killian's apartment, hm?"

"Ruby, I'm right here." Emma pulled herself away from between her two friends, moving off to the side and attempting to create some much needed space.

"Right here and… willing to share?" she asked, sounding hopeful. "I'm not even asking for details, Ems. You've been lusting over the man for only God knows how long. Now you're together. So…"

It was left open-ended and with the expectation for Emma to finish.

"She's blushing," Mary Margaret pointed out, her voice almost too sweet. "Ruby, leave her alone."

"Are you done?" It was bad enough that her body was betraying her, leaving visible clues of what she was feeling internally.

"With your hair?" Ruby asked lightly. "Yep! All done!" Her hands fell over Emma's arm, grabbing a firm hold and then turning her around so that they faced one another. "Done trying to get an honest answer out of you? Nope!"

Emma felt the sudden flutter of her eyes as she offered her friend a shake of her head. Of course Ruby was being as persistent as she was. If not, then she wouldn't be Ruby. She had never been shy about sharing tales of intimacy over the years with the girls, but….

"It's different with Killian," she finally told her. Being her best friends, Emma thought that explanation should have been good enough. And maybe…

The genuine look that crossed Ruby's face almost had Emma rolling her eyes. Ruby clasped her hands together, her own gaze widening and a smile taking over her face.

"Oh my God!"

"She is in love!" Mary Margaret's sigh from behind her was soft, yet full of emotion.

Where it should have embarrassed her beyond belief, her friends' outburst only solidified what Emma felt herself. No, she didn't feel the need to share the more intimate, sensual, and very new ideals of her relationship (her relationship) with Killian. Even as her thoughts turned towards that first night, their first time together… She had attempted plenty of times over the years to not think of Killian than way. But… when she had been weak, when she let her thoughts venture off towards that way… she would have never been able to come up with the reality of what it was like to be with Killian.

"She is in love and the sex is amazing!" Ruby's eyes blew wide open as she stepped back to look at her.

"Of course that's what you'd take away from this whole thing," Emma muttered.

"That's probably why you have such a healthy glow," Ruby teased. At least, Emma hoped it was a tease. Knowing Ruby…

Emma rolled her eyes as she turned away from the satisfactory grin on Ruby's face.

"Emma." The look on Mary Margaret's face was a lot gentler than that of their other friend. It was still easy to see the pure happiness that was there. "Don't let Ruby's bluntness take away from this moment." She shook her head, a smile breaking over her face. "We're all so happy for the two of you. We know that this is what you've wanted, even if you tried to keep it all to yourself for so long. You're in love, Emma. And we just want to celebrate that fact with you."

Listening to her level-headed friend brought the butterflies back to Emma's stomach. It made a smile appear on her face.

"I am in love," she whispered, feeling the flutter turn into a churning from way deep inside. Fifteen years…. That was an amazing thought. She was in love with her best friend of fifteen years and, he was in love with her.

"And the sex is amazing?" Ruby's hands gripped over Emma's arm as she quickly took a place in front of her.

Emma chewed on her lip as she eyed her friend.

"And the sex is amazing," she finally conceded quietly.

"I knew it!" Ruby's hands grasped at Emma's, holding tight and literally bouncing in front of her.

From beside her, Mary Margaret shook her head.

"Congratulations, Emma."

****

How many times had she walked up to his door in the past couple of months? There was something quite unique about this time. Because this time, she was walking up to his door with the knowledge of Killian's love for her. The knowledge of a shared love that was no longer hidden and even taboo.

Emma lifted her hand to press her fingertips to the wood of the door. Smiling, those fingers turned into a fist as she knocked softly. Taking a step back, she let her hands slide over the skirt of her dress. The immediate rapid beat of her heart surprised her, but the tingle that ran through her entire body felt so right.

He had to have been in the living room, maybe even waiting by the door her because… The sound of Killian grasping the doorknob only seconds after she'd knocked hadn't really surprised her. What did surprise her…

Killian's smile was wide as his eyes fell across every available inch of her before finally settling on her own.

"Hello, Emma." There was a thickness, an authenticity, an overwhelming hint to what he was feeling in just those words.

"Hello, Killian." Already, he had her feeling lighter than air…

The smile on his face widened, a sudden glint twinkled in his eyes, as he reached his hand out towards her.

_Fifteen years._

__

__

She went easily into his arms, which instantly wrapped around her waist. His lips found hers in that same moment, wasting no time. Her own arms looped around his neck fully, enjoying the feel of his lips against hers. A simple press. Easy. Nice. It was still so different from all those easy kisses from years past.

She could feel his smile pressing against her. Killian didn't move far, but rested his forehead against hers while his hands slipped over her back.

"All ready, love?" he murmured.

For their first date? For beginning a new chapter in their life?

"Definitely ready," she assured him. Her eyes finally opened, lifting and meeting his once again.

Yes. Definitely ready.

****

"In all the times that we've been together, in all the meals that we've shared…" Emma turned her twinkling eyes up at him. "You've never offered to make me a meal before. A classic British meal at that. And on our first date. I'm impressed by you, Killian Jones."

Her twinkle couldn't compare to the way his own eyes danced on her. Reaching for her hand, Killian entwined his fingers with hers, gripping firmly.

"You'll be more impressed once you taste it," he assured her, pulling her even closer to him.

Emma went willingly, loving the feel of his body against hers, loving the warmth of his body in contrast to the chill that was always found in the grocery store.

Part one of their first date included the task of grocery shopping. How cute! How wonderfully… domestic… They were together. They were a couple. They were the two components of a relationship. And, apparently, their relationship consisted of everything their friendship had consisted of, with the addition of shared true feelings and an acceptance of wanting and loving one another.

Part two of their first date included the task of making dinner. It warmed her heart because… this was them. This is who they were going to continue to be.

"So where'd you get the recipe for chicken and mushroom… mm… what was it?" Emma looked across his body, searching out the contents of the basket hanging from his other hand.

"Puff pie."

Emma looked up to see the lift of his brow as he watched her.

"Right." She nodded her head. "Chicken and mushroom puff pie. Very British sounding."

"Quite." There was a bit of humor mixed in with his heavily accented response. "I guess if I had to be honest, one of the things I miss about London would be the classic British cuisine. But I plan to remedy that fact this evening with you by my side, love."

Emma didn't think the smile would ever disappear from her face. Although, she wasn't sure if his smile would ever leave either.

She tightened her fingers over his, pulling herself even closer to him.

His eyes were on her, the smile widening. Killian shook his head as the smile turned into a burst of laughter.

"What?" She felt lighter than air while being with him. She had let two weeks pass without seeing him. She had let her beliefs keep them apart for two entire weeks. Never again. If she had any choice in the matter, never again would that happen.

"You're amazing, that's all." It was quiet, and the sudden serious glint in his eye was surprising.

"Am I now?" It was Emma's turn to lift an eyebrow his way.

"Bloody brilliant, Emma Swan." This time… the smile was back. Easy.

"Wow! First, you promise a classic meal, and now this. Your London roots are showing, Killian Jones."

His laugh was back, deep and full. Killian paused in the middle of the aisle, an aisle that held a number of other shoppers as well. Turning to stand right in front of her, his lips swooped down on hers, leaving a sweet-tasting kiss there.

"It happens from time to time," he murmured against her lips. "I hope you don't mind."

Emma wanted to grab at him, to hold him, and keep him close. She chose to just hold on to his hand a little more tightly.

"I don't mind," she assured him softly. "I love it, actually." Her shoulder lifted in a quick shrug. "I love you."

The deep moan was just as sudden as the new kiss that fell on her lips.

"I love you, too."

Customers, onlookers, or anyone else be damned. Emma heard the half-filled basket drop to the floor beside them. Then it was both of Killian's hands on her, finding her waist and pulling her against him. His kiss deepened, right there in the middle of aisle seven. And her hands… Emma gripped at the front of his jacket, just as she'd wanted to do for long minutes already. She kissed him with a passion that was new, yet had been simmering for years.

This was her life now. This was their life now…

She almost laughed at the thought that crossed her mind.

_Bloody hell. ___

****

_This _was them now. How amazing!__

She liked the changes in them. There had always been an ease about their friendship, but this was something else. It wasn't just an ease in friendship, but a comfortableness between them that touched each and every facet of their relationship.

The recipe was his mother's, Killian informed her while his body pressed up against hers from behind. As his hands shadowed her own as she chopped away at the spring onions and button mushrooms, he tried to coax her memory of homemade dinners that she had joined his family in so many years ago. No, he hadn't been in the kitchen offering a helping hand at that time, but he could remember moments sitting out in the dining room with Emma at his side while enjoying the delicious meal.

It brought up memories of other meals and times where Killian had come over to her house. It had them both debating over whose mother was the better cook, at the same time a bottle of wine was popped open. Emma admitted that her own joy of cooking certain meals came under the tutelage of her mom trying to show her a more domestic side of life. No, it wasn't so bad being raised in that environment. In fact, she was quite lucky to have her parents and August. Another admission: she began to realize that fact after Killian came into her life.

He tried to tempt her with kisses once the puff pie made its way into the oven, reminding her that they now had an easy half hour of time to fill before their meal would be ready. The way his hands found her waist and the way his fingers gripped at her… She would have never believed that flirty and insatiable would describe him and his need for her. She had learned that very quickly though. She also hoped that he'd learned the same about her as well.

_Thirty minutes… ___

****

There was something very enjoyable about the fact that she was learning so much more about the man she had been in love with for so many years…

Sometimes it was their feet, caressing one another. Sometimes it was their bodies, pressed closely together. Sometimes, like now, it was a touch of their hands, slipping and bumping against the other. Or, more appropriate at the time… it was the tangling of just fingers, keeping them linked to one another in a way that felt peaceful and leaving her content.

Emma liked the way Killian's pinky wrapped securely around her own. Was it okay to be that secure? Her own finger tightened around his.

"What's wrong?"

Flat on his back next to her in his bed, Killian's voice was instant in her ear, and she wasn't surprised at all.

Emma turned towards him as well, a smile already covering her face. Looking at him, seeing the sheer happiness that was tainted by the thoughts of something being wrong with her, made her heart blossom right in her chest. It made her want to lose whatever thoughts that were trying to invade her mind.

"I never want to lose you as a friend." It was a soft admission that she made only because it would have pulsed straight out of her heart no matter what.

Killian's eyes took on a lighter hue in that second, his smile matching hers.

"Does that scare you?" His voice was soothing as he head dug into his pillow. He didn't look scared. He didn't look worried. Not at all. That calmness and ease was still there. Why?

A tingle ran throughout her entire body as the answer to her own question came to her. No, he wasn't scared. He wouldn't be scared or worried because…

Her finger tightened around his, a smile spreading across her own face.

"It used to, but not anymore."

When he told her that he was in love with her, he'd meant it. When she let herself confess her love for him, it was because the loved they shared was that forever kind of love. So… he wasn't going anywhere. She wasn't going anywhere. They'd made a pact that night, so long ago, about being each other's rock. It still held true today. It had molded into something honest and a lot more than either one of them had ever expected. It had molded into a love that would bond them together for a lifetime. She wanted him for a lifetime. And he wanted her. That's what his eyes and his smile were telling her. That's what her pinky curving around his own was telling him.

"Good." Killian's affirmation was strong and firm and secure.

_Good. _That was one way to describe it.__

That feeling of relief and security rushed over her again as she closed her eyes.

"Good," she agreed with a sigh.


	18. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end of another story. Thanks to everyone for the favorites, follows, comments, and everything else in between. I also have to thank my beta, Miranda, aka captain-k-jones, for helping me through this fic. This was a story that was supposed to be fluff, and then was supposed to be at least low on the angst. It was something to write when I just needed something to write. So I'm happy Miranda was there to flesh out the story when I just couldn't.
> 
> I would ALSO like to totally dedicate this epilogue to DarkSwanThePirate, whose comments had my mind twisting and turning with every chapter. Luckily, I hadn't started the epilogue when I saw one of her particular comments, so I was able to give into the ideas she offered.

**One year later...**

**  
**

The sudden weight pressing down on his midsection, taking all the air from his lungs, jolted Killian from his sleep. His eyes sprung open, coming in contact with a smiling Emma. His hands wrapped automatically around her waist as she planted herself right over him. The shock and surprise hadn't had a chance to dissipate before her lips were crashing down over his.

Apparently, she was a ball of energy on this Saturday morning. Her quick kiss tasted of hot cocoa and cinnamon, leaving Killian with a need to keep her there just a little bit longer than necessary. Well, he would never complain about her creative ways of getting him up.

Sometimes he was left to wonder… how he'd gotten so lucky?

"Good morning, love." It was a deep murmur against her lips. Killian watched with piqued interest as she slipped her mouth away, the sleep almost completely vanished already. "To what do I owe the pleasure of such a wonderful wake-up call?"

Her thighs gripped at his hips just as the grin spread across her face.

"Breakfast is almost ready."

Killian brought his fingers up to the corner of his mouth, his tongue coming out to lick at his bottom lip. A hint of cocoa still lingered there.

"Mm… I can taste," he muttered softly. A smile broke over his face, an eyebrow arching up.

"Other than the cocoa," Emma said, rolling her eyes upward towards the ceiling, "we're just having bagels with cream cheese and fresh bagels are warming in the toaster." Her hands came down to clutch over each of his shoulders. "Strawberries and kiwi sound good? That's what you had in the fridge."

Early in the morning, and he was already mesmerized by the woman in his life. Already… he was transfixed by the role she played in his life.

"Sounds delicious," he assured her.

Emma's hands went on the move then, leaving his shoulders to run across his chest and over his stomach.

"It's time to get up then," she told him sweetly. There was just a slight cock of her head and she began running her fingers back up his chest. "I want to spend as much time with you this morning before we go on our separate ways." The fingers on his chest curved around his t-shirt, gripping tightly until she was pulling him up.

There was a twinkle in his eye and a grin on his face as he moved even closer to her. His hands went to frame her hips, loving the feel of her being over him.

"That's right," he murmured through the smile. "You're supposed to be setting off for an afternoon of baby shopping with Mary Margaret." In the less than two years since his return to Boston, there had been a fair amount of changes, a fair amount of growth, all around them. Not that there hadn't been growth between them as well...

Emma's own smile was wide, her eyes sparkling as the topic of today's events were brought up.

"It's the first time that we are doing any shopping for Ruby since we found out," she reminded him. Her thighs gripped him even tighter as she bounced happily atop him. "So, yes, I am really excited about it." She curved her body into his as her arms looped around his neck, her lips moving to cover his own. She left a quick kiss there before only slightly pulling back. "That isn't for hours and right now I just want to spend time with you. So… let's get up."

She'd said that she wanted to spend some time with him… Looking at her now, watching as she began to slip off of him and over to her side of the bed… God, he wanted her forever. He'd always want her forever.

"Come on, Killian." There was a hint of exasperation in her voice even as she smiled right at him. Her hands slipped down to his arms.

He stopped her there, his own hands twisting around until he was able to grasp each of her wrists. It was her hands that immediately held his attention, looking at them as they dangled from his hold.

"What?" Emma's question had a hint of suspicion and curiosity to it.

So she didn't see what he saw? Killian spared her a quick glance, finding a bit of skepticism in her features, before he looked back down.

Small and feminine hands. Graceful and slim fingers. Bare and free of… anything. That was his immediate thought. That fact spoke volumes to him.

It had been over a year. In fact, it had been well over a year since he'd came back to Boston, which had found him on the road to Emma, and without a need to ever look back.

"What are you doing?" Her question was full of curiosity and wonder now.

Killian looked up again just in time to see her mouth reaching for his. Her kisses were firm, quick peck after quick peck, before it turned into something that lingered. Something that had her pressing her chest into his. When she pulled her wrists away from his, she instead linked their fingers together. It was a mixture of flexing, curving, and tightening. It was a combination that could have had him dragging her back down on the mattress and showing her how much he loved her. It was the feel of the smoothness of her fingers, though, that kept that singular thought in the forefront of his mind.

"You should marry me." It wasn't as elegant as it should have been. Perhaps that's why Killian pressed another kiss to her lips instead of pulling back to find her reaction. Perhaps kissing her was safer. Perhaps…

Where he pressed against her, Emma pulled back, breaking their kiss. He was slow to open his eyes, finally coming in contact with the stunned face before him.

It wasn't the way he had thought he would ask her. Trust and believe, the thought had been there for such a long time. He was supposed to wait. The idea of asking on her birthday had been the most prevalent thought. It would have been appropriate. When she had turned thirty, they had only been in a relationship some four months. He'd only been in America for six months. It would have been fitting, when counting in their history, but unrealistic as well. Her thirty-first birthday though… was still months away. He didn't want to wait…. months before asking her.

Looking at her now, he knew her thoughts were running wild through her mind. The stunned face wasn't as stunned as she stared right at him.

"You should marry me." The repeated words were a little more than a murmur, strong and firm in his conviction. Killian tightened his fingers around hers as he watched her closely, waiting for anything to fall from her lips.

There was a smile first, followed by a succession of blinking eyes.

"Did you just propose to me, Killian?" Emma asked in a whisper. Her eyes twinkled, her fingers tightened around his.

Killian shrugged, striving to add the illusion of ease in that movement. "I thought that perhaps it was my turn, after all these years."

Emma's lips parted and she took in a small inhalation of breath. "I didn't-"

"Marry me, Emma." It came out in a rush, the need to hear her answer leaving his heart racing in his chest.

"Killian Jones." Her voice was soft as she slipped her hands from his and found her cheeks instead. Her eyes peered into his with a lightness that spoke of her answer. "I would happily marry you today if I could." Her smile was instant before she dropped another quick kiss on his lips. "Yes. Yes, I'll marry you." She kissed him again, tiny butterfly kisses that sprinkled across his lips.

There was a feeling of completion that washed over Killian as his arm wrapped around her back, pulling her even closer to him. There was a feeling of happiness and fulfillment coursing through his body in that moment. She'd said yes. Just that easily. Emma had said…

Killian could feel the raise of her bent knee. He felt the way her legs moved and wrapped around his back, hugging her body tight against his. She had said.

His hands slipped over her cheeks, pulling her back as he did the same.

"You'd marry me today?"

Emma's legs tightened their grip around his waist and she dragged herself closer.

"I'd marry you today," she breathed out, her eyes drifting wondrously across his face.

It was happening fast. Killian knew that it was happening all of a sudden. It was happening not at all as he'd thought it would. Emma had said she would marry him. He had proposed. even without a ring, which she deserved. None of that changed the fact that it was all he wanted. He wanted to marry Emma, to fulfill every shared wish that that they'd had together.

"Then marry me today," he breathed out, watching her closely. The tingle of excitement with a mixture of awe coursed through his body as he held her close. "Marry me today, Emma."

Her mouth fell open, her eyes widening all the more.

"You're… serious?" She peered into his eyes before a smile broke across. "You're not serious." Even closer now as her eyes grew again. "You _are _serious."__

"I'm serious." Even as the words fell from his mouth, his thoughts were already shifting and combining. "There'd be a hell of a lot of paperwork after the fact, but that would be the case if we waited a year."

_"Paperwork?"_

__

__

"Because I'm not a U.S. citizen," Killian explained, pulling her closer again, feeling the way her legs tightened even more around him. "There would be a lot of particulars, but-"

"You're ridiculous." It was as if she melted as she spoke. Emma's arms tightened around his neck, her eyes soft and full of love. "And I love you. And…" She took in a deep breath, her head shaking. "I don't care about all the particulars if… if it means that at the end of this day I can be your wife."

He felt her shiver just as a jolt of energy coursed through his own body.

"Bloody hell." A smile overtook his face just as he grasped her by the waist, holding her close as he rolled them over into the opposite position. "If we're going to do this today, that means I don't have time to ravish you right here in now." The murmur came on the heels of a quick press of his lips to hers. "Just know that I want to."

Emma's laugh filled the room as Killian slipped off of her. She followed his lead, sitting up and finding the edge of the bed.

"Can we… really do it?" Her voice held all the curiosity that he knew she must have been feeling. Her shoulders hunched over she raised an eyebrow his way. "Wouldn't there be… a waiting period for the license?"

Her question had him biting softly down on his lip and a dip of his own brows.

"It'll call for a bit of research," he answered slowly. "Which we'll begin on now. There's a few factors that we'll have to look into, but, hopefully, none that will stand in our way."

Emma's smile was tremulous. The love radiating from her was palpable, only spurning Killian on all the more to make their wish to come true within the next twelve hours.

"I'll start by cancelling with Mary Margaret," she told him softly. "Then I'll be right by your side with all this research stuff."

****

Thirty years old…

"Sounds good to me," Killian told her just as softly.

Who knew, way back then, that pacts could be just as life-altering as dreams and wishes?

The fact of the matter was that Emma Swan, in the space of a few minutes, would be forever known as Emma Jones. That fact made the circumstances something he would endure. Killian would take in stride that he had taken away her opportunity to see him get down on one knee with a ring box in his hand, asking her properly to be his wife. He would take in stride that they were dressed in their Sunday best instead of the wedding gown and suit that was more customary. It didn't take away her beauty, the simple slip of white silk hugging her body at all the right places before it pooled around her feet. He would take in stride the fact that all their hard work and pleading eyes at the district court had paid off, allowing them the opportunity to waive the three-day waiting period, which also meant that no one was there for them. Not even a witness or two, since the state didn't require them. So no one knew. No one was there to witness Emma's wedding day.

It was the fact that she stood there before him, eyes wondrous and smile shining right at him, that helped put him at ease. It was the fact that she had jumped at the chance just as he had, to make this day their day, even without all those pesky details that they could have taken care of if they'd waited even six months to get married. Like…

_"We'll live here?" Emma had asked._

__

__

_"We'll pack everything up in your apartment and bring whatever you'd like here," Killian had offered._

__

__

_"Or maybe we can just sublet the apartment, furnished?" she'd suggested._

__

__

_"Perhaps that will be a better option." Killian had smiled at her. "You should have moved in with me long before now anyway."_

__

__

_"Well, I liked the idea that we'll be married when we're sharing a home."_

__

__

Living arrangements weren't the only issue…

_"Is everyone going to want to kill us when they find out that we eloped?" Emma's voice had held a hint of skepticism to it._

__

__

_"I think… everyone will forgive us and will eventually… be happy," Killian had suggested slowly, the thoughts swirling even as he'd said it._

__

__

_"My parents?" Emma's eyes had gone wide. "Your parents? From across the Atlantic?""_

__

__

_"Liam." Killian had lifted his shoulder in a shrug. "Eventually, they'll be-"_

__

__

__"Eventually they'll be happy for us…."_ _

__

__

So, there were a lot of variable that had lead to the late in the afternoon wedding nuptials in front of a little wisp of a court judge, sitting above them at his bench as he pushed his wire-framed glasses over his nose.

"Dearly beloved. We are gathered here to join this man and this woman in holy matrimony…"

Those were details for after. For now...

Emma took his breath of way. How was it so easy to get lost in the eyes and warmth of the woman who stood in front of him, clasping his hands with her own and smiling that dazzling smile of hers? Killian was lost. The words filling the space around them by the judge sunk in, but there was something about the totality of the moment that had him clutching her right back.

"Killian Jones, do you take Emma Swan to be your lawfully wedded wife?"

_"Have you ever heard of those people who make those stupid pacts?" She shrugged as her face pinched._

__

__

Killian's eyes locked on his future bride, his future wife. "I do." The feeling of calmness settling over his body as those words fell from his lips was something that he should have expected.

"Repeat after me: 'I promise you, Emma.'"

_"Pacts? Like what?"_

__

__

His fingers held on to hers for dear life as he watched the tears sheen her eyes. "I promise you, Emma."

"'To love and cherish you.'"

_"Like when they promise to one another that… if things don't work out in their lives… then they'd just… you know, be together. They'd marry each other?" She looked up at him this time._

__

__

"'In sickness and in health.'"

_"Like…" His shoulders hunched over in a sort of shrug. "If we're both single at the age of thirty-"_

__

__

"In sickness and in health."

_"Oh, God! Thirty!"_

__

__

"'For richer, for poorer.'"

_"Thirty isn't… ancient, Ems."_

__

__

"For richer, for poorer." There was a need to dive into her soul in that moment...

_"It doesn't sound like it to you?"_

__

__

Killian's own smile couldn't be contained as the sudden intertwining of their most significant moments mixed amongst one another…

"'For better, for worst.'"

"For better, for worst."

_"If the world keeps treating us the way it has since we were kids…." Emma turned her eyes directly on his. "Then we'll say, 'Screw the world.'"_

__

__

_v"And turn back to the one person who has always been there for us?"_

__

__

"'And forsaking all others.'"

"And for forsaking all others."

_"'Remember when we were in high school and we swore that if we were still single at thirty we'd marry each other? Well, guess whose birthday it is!'"_

__

__

_"Something like that, huh?"_

__

__

"'Keeping myself only unto you.'"

"Keeping myself only unto you."

_"What do you think?"_

__

__

"'So long as we both shall live.'"

"So long as we both shall live." Because that was the kind of love that they shared with one another. Forever.

_"I think… that it's possible that you'd still be the only one who gets me at thirty."_

__

__

He hadn't known. Sharing his vows with the one woman who meant more to him than anything in this world, he hadn't known. But he knew now. And as Emma's hands tightened around his as she recited her vows to him, as she looked into his eyes with a perception that was rare to them, Killian knew he wouldn't have changed a goddamn thing.

This here? This moment in their lives? It was destiny. Pure and simple.

****

"I'm guessing… five minutes." Emma's stared down at the phone in her hand, her fingers (accentuated by the gold of her wedding band) ghosted right over the screen.

"I'd have to agree," Killian said, his head cocking at his own phone. "Are you sure you don't want to wait until morning to break the news? I have a feeling we won't get a moment of rest on our wedding night." His lips twitched into a smile. "And not at all for the right reasons."

They'd been married for nearly two hours. A whirlwind of odds and ends had lead them first to Emma's apartment to grab a few things, including a change of clothes. Attempting to persuade the court to waive the three-day waiting period and marry them before the courthouse closed. When they stood before the judge at a quarter to four, there had been forty-five minutes to spare.

Emma shook her head slowly. "No, I don't want to wait." Her eyes lifted towards his, and a smile lit her face. "I want the world to know."

"And how better than an update on Facebook, to let the world know?" Killian murmured, an eyebrow shooting up in her direction.

"Exactly." She tilted her head this time as she watched him. "So, are you ready?"

To announce to the world? "I'm ready."

Killian followed her lead, turning his phone on and sliding away the lock screen. It opened back up to where he'd left off; editing his profile, editing his relationship status (which put another sudden and quick smile on his face), then adding a family member, making Emma his wife, and waiting for her confirmation.

It was quicker than even the elopement itself. After only a minute or two, they had announced to the world that they were now man or wife.

Killian found himself staring at his wife's Facebook page, staring at the _Emma Jones _that was now proudly stood out at the top.__

"All done."

Killian looked up at towards the chipper voice to find Emma moving against him. Dropping her phone into her back pocket, she Grabbed at both of his arms and wrapped them around herself and stayed close.

His lips fell down to her forehead, pressing a firm kiss there.

"Bet you five bucks that it'll be Ruby." Emma's green gaze sparkled up at him. "She'll be the first to either comment or call."

Killian's arms tightened around his wife's back, a smile lingering on his lips. It was out there for the world to know. The world now knew of the most important fact of his life.

Emma's hands tightened their hold on his arms and she dipped her head just so.

"What?" There was a curiosity that lightened her voice and made her eyes twinkle as she watched him. "What are you thinking?"

What was he thinking? Killian's eyes darted across her face as he took her in, really and truly took her in.

"You're my wife." Even as the words fell out of his mouth, the imprint of her wedding ring pressing against his arm signified the concept even more. "You're my _wife _."__

The corners of her mouth lifted just slightly as her hands tightened their hold on him. There was a softening about her, her body curving into his and her eyes held a hint of wonder.

"Emma Jones, that's me," she breathed out softly.

_Emma Jones. _Yes, that was her.__

"So the little lost girl, who thought it was best to be tough and keep out everyone else before they had the chance to shun her first…"

"Married the awkward and shy lad who was sure he would never quite find his place in his own world," Killian added.

There was something different about the smile that crossed her face this time. There was something different about the way she moved her hands to glide up his arms until she linked them around his neck.

"Sounds like something like fate to me," she finally murmured, her gaze slipping across his face.

"Well, if I'd known all those years ago that this is what fate had in store for me…" Killian tightened his own hold on her, his arms closing around her waist.

Perhaps he _had _known though. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why even being continents, time zones, and fifteen years apart hadn't marred what they had always been to each other and for each other. Because none of that had ever mattered. Nothing had been able to stop the inevitable from happening. Nothing had stopped them from finally admitting not only what they were to each other, but who they truly were to one another.__

Emma's response came in the form a smile before lifting her mouth to his, pressing and holding a kiss there.

_Mr. and Mrs…._

__

__

It was Emma's phone that rang first…

She pulled away from him, slowly, and her eyes locked on his immediately.

"So, are you going to take my bet?" she asked teasingly, already reaching behind her towards her back pocket.

_Emma Jones…_

__

__

"How about…" Killian let his hand follow hers, letting it fall over her wrist as her hand hid inside her pocket. "You take my challenge, Mrs. Emma Jones?"

Her smile was sudden. "And what's that?"

The phone underneath both their hands became quiet.

Killian took in a small breath as he watched his dazzling wife. "The world knows, right?"

Next, it was his phone that vibrated to life from inside his other hand.

"Seems like it," Emma answered with a shrug, the teasing still there in her tone.

"Then my challenge, to you and me both, is… to leave it at that," Killian murmured.

The look of questioning covered Emma's features as she tilted her head.

"It's our wedding night," he continued, trying hard to ignore the second ring of Emma's phone going off. "We've been on the move all day trying to make this possible. So much so that we haven't even had a proper meal."

"You want to leave all of our family and our friends in limbo, wondering what the hell have we done?" Emma asked lightly, an eyebrow lifting in wonderment.

Killian lifted a shoulder in a shrug. "They know."

"They know." Emma nodded slowly, pulling her hand out of her pocket and gripping her phone as she brought in back to the front of her. "And the entire world knows."

"So…"

"So… let's enjoy the rest of our wedding day," she finally told him, that softening look taking over her completely.

Killian felt his own body sag in happiness.

"Are you sure though?"

Emma pulled the phone into view.

"I'm sure." In that same moment, she began pressing the buttons on her phone until it finally powered itself down, shutting communication off to everyone.

Pulling his arms from around her back, Killian smiled down at the phone still hanging from his hand. Following Emma's lead, he shut off his phone.

"Just so you know though…"

He looked back up at her, curiosity leaving him waiting for her to finish.

"The first call was from Ruby," she informed him lightly. "You owe me five dollars."

It came out so sweet and bubbly, with Emma's eyes blinking happily on him, that Killian reached for her again. Pulling her back into his arms, a silly smile met her own smiling lips as he kissed her again.

Emma's arms found their way around his neck again, pulling him closer to her.

>His bride. His wife.

__

__

_Emma Jones..._

__  
__  
_ _

_Mr. and Mrs…._

__

__

God! If there was ever a lucky man in the world, it was Killian Jones.

****

"Are we in trouble?" Digging himself from underneath the covers of their hotel bed, Killian threw the newly turned on phone down on the spot in the bed between them. He rolled over onto his stomach and raised up on his elbows, leaning over so that he could look at Emma's phone.

"It's all positive," she assured him, tilted the screen so that he could easily see the long list of messages written on her Facebook wall.

_They've gone off the grid._

__

__

_Has ANYONE heard from either one of them?_

__

__

_Their phones are off. I think they actually did it!_

__

__

_Congratulations to the newlyweds!_

__

__

_I went by both of their apartments. I saw Killian's car, but not Emma's._

__

__

_I don't believe it!_

__

__

_I believe it!_

__

__

_Were they ENGAGED?_

__

__

_Emma and Killian ELOPED!_

_  
_

"But maybe our first calls should be to our mothers," Emma added carefully.

Those words conjured up a thought of his mum, who….

Killian's phone sprung to life, the vibration a constant as notification after notification popped up.

"I agree," he murmured, finally grabbing for his own phone.

"Luckily, they all love us and will eventually…"

Killian let his fingers still on the list of thread text messages when Emma paused. He only took a second longer to stare at his father's name that was only under his mother's, Liam's, Elsa's, and Ruby's….

Emma's sudden gasp caused him to look up, locking onto her stunned profile.

"What?" he asked carefully.

"My mom wants to know if I'm pregnant." She was quick to turn her gaze on him, her eyes wide. "Can you believe that?"

"That she thinks that you'd only run off and marry me if you were forced to because you were carrying my child?" Killian teased softly. He raised his hand to his bearded chin and rubbed thoughtfully. "I can believe that." He kept his smile down to a minimum as he watched his wife closely. "Does she sound upset, Emma?"

She was quick to shake her head. "No." She smiled. "Maybe there's a bit of misplaced joy?"

_Misplaced joy?_

__

__

There was a moment, a quiet moment, when their eyes met across the tiny space between them.

"We've never…" It started out a bit gruff, as thoughts of Emma's flat stomach swelling because of their baby. Which immediately turned to thoughts of a newborn being held in arms.

"I'd say we're a couple years away from that, at least," Emma commented quietly.

"A couple of years, huh?" he murmured.

A brief smile graced her lips as she looked at him, her eyes barely widening.

"There was a time that I wouldn't have… thought…"

Her voice was soft and barely there. Killian understood. It was deeply embedded in their foundation, in the people they began as. Their own separate demons as young children had been conquered though. Emma wasn't the orphan girl anymore, and he wasn't the awkward lad who couldn't find his place in the world. So… he knew. He understood because…

"There was a time I wouldn't have thought… either." The words brought him back to… the phone in his hand.

He heard Emma's small intake of breath before she spoke. "What did he say, Killian?"

She slipped closer to him, her shoulder brushing just barely against his own. It was that smallest touch, a touch that was every bit of encouraging and supportive that made the task that much easier to complete.

Killian took in a deep breath, attempting to steady himself, as he opened his father's thread of messages. There shouldn't have been a need for apprehension. There shouldn't have been a need for worry about what he was about to encounter. There shouldn't have been a need to see the right thing instead of the wrong thing in the space of a second. None of those should have mattered, but…

_I hear that congratulations is in order. I also hear that you won't likely get this message any time soon. Killian, son, I want you to know that your mother and I are both very happy over this news of your recent nuptials. Emma has always been a wonderful woman. She has always been a bright spot in your life. She will continue to be that. For that reason, you are a very lucky young man._

__

__

_Kiss my daughter-in-law for me. Give her my love and congratulations. Let this tie you over until the time comes when you bring yourself out of that cocoon you've hidden yourself if. Then we can do this over the phone instead of messaging._

__

__

_I've spoken to Liam. The company is in good hands, even when you are not physically at the helm. That being said, know that I am expecting both of you and your wives to make the trip back to London within the next six weeks. Liam will inform you of the details._

__

__

"Are we… honeymooning in England?" She sounded optimistic.

"Perhaps…" Killian's gaze swung away from his phone to look at Emma.

"I'd love that," she whispered softly, a smile brightening her entire face. "Almost as much as your dad would love to have you back again."

He didn't let his mouth tense. Almost, but not quite.

"It seemed… sincere." Even as the words left his mouth, he began questioning the truth behind the thought.

"He is, Killian," Emma assured him softly. Her shoulder pressed against his again. "He is."

Perhaps…

"We'll see." It was the best he had in that moment.

Emma's smile radiated from next to him.

"There's something about having it all," she whispered, her eyes darting across his face.

It was… everything about her in that moment, that moment where his wife lay in the bed next to him, encouraging and solid as ever…

"Do you have it all, Emma?" There was a hint of teasing in his voice as he pressed his shoulder back against hers.

Her left hand came to cover his right, the band of gold looking simply beautiful against her skin.

"I have it all," she assured him in a quiet whisper.

Although the lightheartedness of the moment stayed, it seemed as if all the teasing went away. What was left was their truth and their reality. Emma had come into his life right when he'd needed her. And she had stayed. Nothing, at any point in their lives, had diminished what they were for each other and who they were for each other.

He wasn't perfect. He was…. far from perfect. But Emma loved him anyway. She loved him no matter what. What Emma did was make him feel as if he was perfect for her. And she was beyond any and all expectations he could have ever had for what love was and how empowering it could be.

"You're right, my love." Killian turned his hand over, flexing his fingers wide and intertwining them with hers. "There is something about having… it all."

He knew it from experience. From his experience with this girl-turned-woman, this best-friend-turned-lover-turned-wife.

When she came closer, when Emma's fingers tightened around his as she came to press a kiss on his lips, the feeling of completion washed over Killian.

"I had a thought," she muttered before kissing him again.

"What's that?" Already. Already, the indecision of what was to come when he went back to London was dissipating… because of her. "What?" he asked again through a smile.

"We've been 'off the grid,' as Ruby said, for a while now," Emma reminded him. "How about updating Facebook with a new post?"

Killian watched with only the tiniest of smiles as she slipped back to grab her phone. Her hand still held onto his firmly, never letting go. as she swiped and pushed her way to her camera.

"Shall we tell everyone when they should be expecting us home?" Killian raised an eyebrow her way in question.

Emma's own mouth twisted into a smile as she positioned the front-facing camera in view of their linked hands.

"Maybe a little later," she whispered, eyeing the position of the phone. "I have a feeling we'll be ambushed. But…" The shutter of the camera went off, signifying that the image had been taken. "Hopefully this will hold them for a while." Her fingers untangled from his so that she could lay her hand over his instead, their rings linking up in the new angle. Again, the shutter went off.

"You're enjoying this," Killian murmured, a smile breaking across his face again. He watched their linked hands, watched the pair of rings that lay next to each other. He watched the tie that bonded them.

"I'm enjoying this," Emma agreed.

Killian looked into her eyes just then, and found everything that he knew he would have.

"I love you, Emma Jones."

"I think you like that," she said, her eyes crinkling on him.

"I do."

"I do, too." She slipped close once again, bringing her mouth down over his and placing a kiss there. "And I love you, Killian Jones, with all of my heart."

Killian's eyes closed at her words, kissing her again and again. His hand slipped over her cheek, loving the softness and smoothness against his skin. But it was the feeling of her hand finding and covering his once again, that caused his heart to fill to capacity and then spill over.

It was so easy to go back to that first day when they'd met. It played in his mind so many times over the years. And all of those significant moments from that point to this. Sometimes… sometimes it had been vital to remember that they were friends, that they were always meant to be friends. It had become vital to add in the fact that there had always been a chance for more.

_Always meant to be…_

__

__

It felt good to leave it just like that.


	19. One-Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I received this prompt weeks ago, and have been trying my best to get it done!
> 
> I would really love to see killian's father show how proud he is of him and some affection towards him, as I think he would really need that. I'm a sucker for child/parent(s) stories too. I would also love to see more liam and elsa again, perhaps a double date or a pregnancy announcement. I would love to really see killian's family welcoming both elsa and emma to the family. Whatever you provide I'm sure it will be lovely!

Killian heard the familiar sounds of an airplane at the same time he felt a slip of skin crossing over his cheek. His eyes pried open just as he felt tension leaving the corners of his mouth.

The slip of cool and soft skin felt good across his hair-roughened cheek. His head automatically turned into it, finding Emma's gaze right on him.

His wife's green eyes held a hint of curiosity mixed with an undeniable bit of worry.

"Hey," she whispered softly, peering deeper into his own eyes as she slipped closer to him from her seat beside him.

"Hey." Killian's response was thick from sleep. It was then that he realized with a far greater knowledge of where he was.

He'd done his best to nod off to sleep within the first hour of being on the nearly six and a half hour flight from Boston to London. The time change has been a contributing factor to their decision to take the nine o'clock at night flight, realizing that an early bedtime would help with the adjustment of making it to London at four in the morning their time, which would be nine in the morning London time.

Perhaps sleep had overtaken him, but it didn't mean that it had done so peacefully.

"I think you were dreaming." Emma tilted her head to the side, her eyes now slipping across every one of his features. A small smile lifted her lips. "Or maybe having a nightmare, huh?"

Killian moaned, his eyes falling closed as his cheek searched for the caress of her hand against it. Had he been dreaming? Had it been a nightmare?

"Even in my sleep, I can't seem to get away from it," he murmured into her palm. He didn't have the strength or motivation to pull himself up from the slump his body had taken to while he was sleep, instead deciding to fall deeper into it.

"Then maybe you shouldn't go back to sleep just yet," Emma suggested lightly.

Killian pressed a kiss into her palm before turning his eyes up at her..

"I would rather you not be on edge by the time we make it to London," she continued, her lashing lowering as she watched him closely.

"You'd think that sleep would be the answer to that."

"Maybe not this time." Emma moved then, removing her warm hand from his cheek and leaving the spot cool. "Sit up. Killian." Next to go was the warmth of her closeness as she sat up straight herself.

He did as she asked, and not only because it meant that he could fill his empty hands with hers. Placing a firm foot into the floor, he pushed himself up in his seat, his shoulder slipping across the material of the seat until he was upright. His hands captured hers, his fingers criss-crossing with hers, and holding on firmly.

"This is going to be a good visit, Killian." Emma's words were soft, but reassuring. Her fingers tightened around his just as she laid her forehead against his cheek.

He inhaled the sweet scent of her hair, his head angling so that he could nuzzle the softness with his nose. He wondered if she was right, if she knew it to be fact.

Killian couldn't remember the thoughts that had plagued him in his sleep. He'd only felt the restlessness. He'd only known that it was his father that had caused it. And if he was restless in his sleep, what did that tell him about his subconscious?

He buried his nose just a little deeper into her hair.

"I'm trying to remember that."

Emma's fingers tightened around his, the strength of her hold infusing something within Killian.

"What is it, Killian?" Her question was soft, open, non-judgmental.

He loved her.

"Personal?" She looked up at him, her forehead slipping away and creating a barely there gap between them. It was those green eyes again, framed in long dark lashes, on him once more. "Or professional?" Emma blinked at him. "Which is worrying you? Or worrying you the most?"

Because, in all honesty, it could have been either or, couldn't it?

He hadn't meant to disturb her sleep with a fit of uncomfortableness in his own sleep. And now, in the middle of their night, she was asking for him to open up to her. She was asking to be the rock in his life that she'd always been and he had always needed.

"I'm sorry, love," Killian murmured, his fingers finding a lock of her hair and wrapping around it.

Emma's smile was small, her eyes a bit wider.

"Sorry for what, Killian?" she asked wondrously.

"For disturbing you," he answered quietly. "You need your rest and-"

"Killian." Emma's hand caressed his own. "Killian, which part of this is worrying you?"

She didn't want his apologies, nor did she need them. How in the hell had he been so lucky in life to have her as his best friend and his wife all at once and for an entire lifetime?

Killian let his gaze slip off into the aisle, taking in the sleeping passenger across from them. Then he looked back at Emma, finding her eyes just as warm and understanding as ever.

He took in a small breath and held it for just a second.

"The personal is fine," he finally shared quietly. "It was always the professional that bled through into the personal. If not for that… then… the personal would have always been fine." He shook his head once and then twice. "It's not the personal."

"Then…" Emma blinked, her head tilting and her fingers flexing in between his. "We need to focus on why we are on a plane to London, England." Her voice was soft and delicate. Did he need soft and delicate? "This has nothing to do with the business. This is… essentially our…" She lifted a shoulder in a light shrug and another small smile crossed her face. "Honeymoon. So," she added, shaking her head, "there's no need to focus on work. Not on this trip. This trip is personal. Not professional."

Even as she spoke, even as the words left her mouth, it was thoughts of the past two months that crossed Killian's mind. The conversations with his father had been less sporadic than they had been for the entire prior time that he'd been away from London. It had started on that end, all the way in England. It had been his father who had reached out first. It had been Donovan who'd made the phone calls, who'd made them personal, who'd asked the questions and was satisfied with the answers, who'd made the order that eventually turned into the request to come home. It was Donovan.

Killian remembered the hesitancy on his own part. He remembered how it was only supposed to have been six weeks prior to his sudden marriage to Emma. Donovan had wanted not only Killian and Emma to show up, but Liam and Elsa as well. The order hadn't been met. And Killian was grateful for the fact that he'd been able to put the trip off for a couple of weeks.

Donovan was sure that EMID could survive without either of his sons at the helm for a few weeks. No matter that it would take them out of America during Thanksgiving. That didn't seem to phase Donovan, a fact that Killian's new parents-in law, Will and Beth, would have taken a liking to very much. Luckily, his father's plans had nothing to do with Emma's job. And when she was unable to get away from work during the busy time of year, it had detained the trip by two entire weeks. Two extra weeks to prepare Killian for today. Because now it was upon them. They were only hours away from stepping onto English soil. They were only hours from being back.

Not under Donovan's thumb…

Not professional.

Personal.

"Killian?" Emma's hand came up to cradle his cheek, her head tilting as she looked him over.

It was that touch, the way she said his name, the care in her being, that made Killian relax even more. It was Emma that almost had him closing his eyes as he unburdened the struggle that was still inside of him.

"Even if I haven't been the business shark that he wanted for me to be, I'm not the complete failure that I've always believed him to take me as, am I, Emma?"

He should have already known the answer to that. Should have…

Emma shook her head slowly. "You are not a failure in the least little bit, Killian Jones," she whispered fiercely. "Not in anyone's eyes. And that certainly includes your father."

In all honesty, with his wife's hand at his cheek, with her eyes boring into his (or maybe into his soul), he Killian did already know that. He did…

He turned his head, his cheek slipping across Emma's palm until his lips were there in its place. He pressed a firm kiss there, his eyes closing for just a moment, and then another kiss before turning to look at her.

"I love you." With all of his heart, Killian loved her. "Do you know that?"

Emma's slipped her hand from his, each movement fluid as she found herself with her face buried into his neck and her arms wrapped around him.

"I know," she murmured. "I love you, too, Killian."

A smile crossed his face as he hugged her, his fingers slipping into the strands of hair at her back.

Amazing. It was amazing how he hadn't even realized the restlessness in himself. His wife had, His wife had seen it in his sleep.

It was gone. He thought it was gone. All because…

"I need to get some sleep," Killian muttered thickly.

Emma was slow to move, sharing a knowledgeable nod.

"Take two." She smiled that time, moving a leaning back in her own seat,

"Take two," Killian agreed quietly.

He settled back in his own seat. His eyes were quick to close shut. That left his hand to blindly search for…

His long fingers weren't the only one on the search, he found, coming in contact with the grasping slim fingers from next to him.

He hadn't known, but should've known, that his ease could have grown even more. Holding onto her hand, lying back in his seat for take two, he let sleep take him once more. This time, there wasn't supposed to be any demons chasing after him.

****

"Honestly?"

Luggage stowed away in the trunk, Killian turned towards his wife's voice as his hand fell over the car's door handle.

"Yes, love?" He gripped the handle, opening the door for her. She should have already been ushered into the vehicle. The notorious gray clouds of London were bringing with them a quiet drizzle. Emma looked lovely in the three-quarter peacoat, but that was no reason for getting drenched so early in the morning.

"Honestly," Emma started again, an eyebrow lifting, "I think I feel a little cheated by taking an Uber instead of a black cab." Her smile was small as she slipped inside the back seat of the car.

Killian felt his lips part, watching his wife. It quickly turned into a chuckle as he closed the door behind her.

His steps were slow around to the other side of the car. There was something about the London air. There was something about the atmosphere that he was now in.

It had been a while. He had left for Boston what now seemed like a lifetime ago. A lifetime. And in that lifetime, he had gained so much. Now? Now he was back. He was back, and on his way to face that past lifetime for the first time in a very long time.

Killian pulled the door open quickly, sliding into his own seat beside Emma. It took only a second before they were on their way, their driver already having the directions to his parents' home.

"We'll be sure to take a black cab back to the airport, since you're feeling a bit cheated by the experience." Killian's promise was a murmur as he moved closer to kiss Emma's lips. "Deal?"

"It's a deal," Emma agreed softly. She was the first to pull back, another smile plastered to her face.

Before either could say anything else. The sound of Emma's phone buzzing from her pocket began to ring in both their ears.

Killian watched as she pulled at the phone, his own curiosity piquing at the idea. He tampered down the nervousness, stopping himself from wondering if it was someone who was at their destination that wasn't so far from where they were. Although… it was currently four o'clock in the morning in Boston right now.

"It's a text from Elsa," Emma shared before Killian had the chance to inquire. She looked up at him even as her fingers began to swipe at the screen. "She just wanted to make sure that we made it okay since we declined the offer of them coming to meet us at the airport."

Killian gave a short and firm nod in affirmation.

"There was no point," he reminded her. "We'll be there soon enough."

He watched as her eyes fell back to the screen of the phone.

"I'll let her know."

As she did, Killian looked passed her and out her window.

The clouds weren't horrible. The mist was as commonplace as the fat snowflakes that were falling in Boston when they had boarded. Perhaps it wasn't terrible to replace the one degree weather with something closer to seven degrees. Celcius, of course.

Killian felt the twitch of the corners of his lips as he sat back in his seat.

"Everyone's up and about," Emma said brightly.

Killian looked back at her, finding her eyes still on the screen of her mo… her phone. Her phone…

Another twitch...

"What?" Emma looked up quickly, the question causing the tilt of her head.

"What?" he asked the question back.

She smiled, one that spread across her face easily, and watched him closely. The smile seemed to be the only answer she was willing to give in that moment, other than the shake of her head.

Killian shared the quiet moment with her, his eyes crossing over her face until he glanced down at her phone.

"Are they looking for us, is that it?" he asked quietly.

"Well…" Emma took in a small breath and lifted her shoulder in a shrug. "Elsa and your mom are." This time, it was a tilt of her chin that followed. "Liam… and your dad, just left for the office."

Killian nodded his head once, pressing his lips together before forcing them apart.

"Liam went to the office with Dad this morning." It was a mutter not directed towards anyone in particular. "I'm not surprised."

"Not surprised at all that in the two weeks that Liam's has been here that he's spent some of his free time back at the company," Emma added lightly.

"Well, his time away from the London office was a lot longer than my own," Killian murmured.

Was it that? Was it that he'd been away for so long that Liam had found the itch to spend his vacation at work? Or was it the drive of being close to their father once more. Liam was the one who took after Donovan more so than Killian ever would. That had always been easy to tell.

Emma glanced back down, the screen glowing back to life once more. Killian watched as she read the text that had come in from Elsa.

"They'll be looking for us," she said, her fingers sliding over the screen.

"It won't be long." Killian took in deep breath and held it for just a second. "We'll be at the house in no time."

"I'll let them know." And she did, her finger swiping away. "Killian?"

"Hm?" He stopped himself from leaning into her, but did take hold of her knee over the coat, his grasp firm.

"It's going to be okay," she whispered.

Killian glanced her way, and saw the sincerity in her eyes. He saw the determination. He saw the assuredness.

"I know," he whispered back.

"There was a reason he sent for us, you know that, too," Emma continued, that same determination and love coming from her side of the car.

Did he know that? He knew that.

"Every single one of his decisions, every single one of his moves, shouldn't have me second-guessing what his motives are." It was a statement, but it could have been a question.

His wife answered his unasked question.

"No, Killian," she whispered, shaking her head. "We know what his motives are." Her hand fell over his, her wedding ring glinting and catching his eye. "And that's why we're here."

Killian's tongue poked out of his mouth, licking at his bottom lip. He nodded his head. It was then that he noticed the calmness and steadiness of his heartbeat.

There was a reason why they were here in London. He wanted it to be true. He didn't want to second-guess every single bloody move.

Killian nodded his head again. He felt the purse of his lips. But it was the involuntary movement of his hand, the the twisting of his palm to hold her knee until it lay palm side-up and resting against her own, that left him completely at ease.

He was home again. For the first time since Donovan shipped him off to America. He was home. And he had a lot to show for all that time away. The number one thing he had to show was sitting right next to him.

"No more than fifteen minutes, love," Killian told her, a smile lifting just the corners of his lips.

She wasn't the only thing he had to show for his time, was it?

The thought of the company, the thought of how he'd changed- and all for the better- crossed his mind in the space of a second.

Emma was right though. That was the thought that followed instantly, the thought that had pushed profession and the drama that had tied itself to his personal life, out of his head,

She didn't have to ask. The question was written over her face in her wide green gaze and thinned lips.

"I'm ready," he assured her.

And perhaps it was because of her that that statement was true.

****

"I did not spend enough time at your parents during my visit to London all those years ago." Emma's murmur was soft as she turned her attention from the window and the sprawling property that was his parent's home, choosing to look at him. "It's really gorgeous, Killian."

Killian found himself looking out through her window once more. The house was quite beautiful. It had always been beautiful. Their family home had been only one token of the success that the Jones' had to show for all the hard work and dedication to EMID had given them. Perhaps it was what his father had expected for the company to give Liam and himself as well…

Killian's gaze slid back towards Emma then, taking in the smile and the eyes before her attention was back on the two thousand square-foot two-story home. The home that had been theirs only some two years after coming back to London from the States. In all that time, it had become everything that it should have been. Did Emma want that?

He found himself tilting his head just so, watching his wife. One of his favorite things about them was that it wasn't just on him. They were a partnership, two equals when it came to their marriage. But… it was impossible to forget the fact that he had every ability in the world to provide financially for them. He only had to… be everything that his father wanted him to be, everything that his father knew he could be.

"Killian, there's your mother!"

Emma's soft exclaim brought his attention back to the window.

"Mum." Even as he left his mouth, even as his eyes settled on the beautiful face that was his mother's as she stood in the doorway of the house, he instantly knew what was coming.

"Do I get to call her 'mum' as well, huh?" Emma teased. Her hand was already on the door handle, grasping it until the door fell open.

Good thing, because he could already feel the familiar heat rising up his neck and in his cheeks.

"I'm quite sure she'd love it, actually," he murmured, more so to himself since Emma was already out the car.

Nerves seemed to settle. He turned his attention to their driver, who had not been particularly chatty throughout the drive, but perhaps that was due to the conversations he'd shared with Emma throughout.

"Thanks, mate, for everything," he told him, grabbing onto his own handle.

"No worries, mate." The driver pushed the deep red lock of hair from his forehead as he twisted around towards Killian. "Need any help with the bags in the boot there?"

"Ah, no." The chill of the early morning hit him as the car door swung open. "We've got it." Killian flashed him a quick smile before stepping outside of the car.

"Alright then," his driver conceded.

With the payment already taken care of, and with the thought of making sure to leave a good review for the driver, Killian was quick to close the door and round the car until he was at the trunk.

His eyes caught the sight before him, a squealing Emma as she found herself in the arms of not only his mother, but also Elsa. It brought a smile to his face and a swell of his heart.

"Killian!"

He wasn't surprised when his mum tore herself away from the girls and used quick steps, alternating her stride with short and long steps. With the suitcases sitting on the ground in front of him, he gave a short nod to the Uber driver, letting him know that it was okay to pull away.

Anastasia Jones. She crossed the length of the driveway in a matter of seconds. Before Killian could fully turn around, her arms were around his neck and pulling her son into her.

"Mum." Killian's murmur was lost against her cheek as he hugged her back.

If there was anything that had made London feel like home, it was his mother. It hadn't been all bad, of course not. She had always been a bright spot in his life. But, perhaps, it hadn't been enough. It hadn't been enough to make the rest okay.

"We've missed you, Killian." His mother's arms hugged him even tighter. "I'm so happy you're here. I'm so happy to have all four of you here with us for the first time ever."

Killian was slow to pull back, allowing himself to look into the similar eyes that were across from him. Eyes that were perhaps just a bit kinder, or maybe just bit more innocent, than his.

There had been an influx of phone calls between the two since he'd tied the knot. But there was nothing better than seeing her in person.

"I've missed you, too," Killian told her, another smile covering his face.

His mum covered his cheek with her hand and her eyes roamed his face,

"You look well, Killian," she told him with a firm nod of her head. "You look happy, son. And…" Her pause came on the heels of a sigh. "I'm so happy that you're happy, Killian."

He avoided the need to look away, to search for the very important and integral part of his happiness.

"I'm well, Mum," he told her instead.

Her blue gaze brightened. "The flight was long. Are you tired?" Her hand slid away from his cheek. "No matter. You two need to come inside. It's not even five in the morning for you."

It was everything about her that had Killian smiling.

"We slept on the plane," he assured her. "We did everything possible to prepare ourselves for the change." He wasn't sure how much the words resonated with her and what she'd taken at face value since she reached for one of the bags on the ground.

He let her take one of the smaller bags into her hands and the roll-away suitcase in the other, helping him with the load. He followed where she lead, seeing both Emma and Elsa making their way back to help.

"Elsa," Killian called out, "you are looking lovely." And she did. "Is the London atmosphere agreeing with you?"

"I'm liking it a lot," she agreed with a small smirk on her face. "Killian, hi!" It was sweet and innocent, just as the slip of her arms around his neck in a hug. "I'm excited getting to know, in person, this side of my new family."

"It's been quite marvelous having Liam and Elsa here," his mum added lightly, sharing a look between the three of them. "It's going to be even more astounding to have you all under one roof for quite some time."

For quite some time… Two weeks, under his father's roof, was truly going to feel like quite some time.

Killian glanced over at Emma, and instantly knew that she knew where his thoughts were leading him.

"It was a trip that was overdue," she added, eyeing him.

"I think that we can all agree to that," his mum said lightly, a small crossing her face.

There was something growing in the pit of Killian's stomach. Perhaps it was borne out of fear. Perhaps it was distrust. Perhaps… even a fear of being too hopeful.

"Your brother and your father won't be home for hours, Killian," his mother continued. "Now, all I want to do is sit you down and catch up on everything, including all the details to you elopement, but I also must believe that sleeping on a plane has not constituted to helping you adjust to the time change."

Her concern put a smile on not only his face, but Emma and Elsa's as well.

"Mum," he sighed, already ready to protest. And he ignored the smile-turned-grin from Emma, as well as the heat rising over his neck.

"I want you to retire to your room, relax without interruption, unpack, and only come down when you're ready," she told them both firmly, and without any room for discussion. "I've already discussed it with your father. You are not to go down to his office at all today. And, hopefully, by the time they both make it home, you two will be well-rested enough to chat."

"Sounds like your mind is all made up." Emma said lightly, her eyes just a hint of teasing.

"We received the same treatment, just so you know," Elsa admitted quietly, her smile just as teasing. "It was wonderful though, I must admit. When the time change is an additional five hours, you don't feel it as much as first. But I definitely think it will do you some good."

Their steps had had them lingering about out front of the house, but coming upon the front door, Killian found himself staring into the home he had left so many years ago. Now, he was back. Not just in England. Not just in London. No, he was… back under this roof.

With Emma…

With his wife…

"Then I guess we must concede." Emma tilted her head towards him. "Anyway, I'm excited to see your old bedroom, Killian."

It was a tease, pure and simple. Which made him wonder if it was an attempt to see him turn a bright shade of red across his entire face instead of only on his neck, cheeks and tips of his ears.

She moved closer to him, until her body was flushed against his.

"I didn't get to see it the last time I was here," she reminded him, smile still firmly in place.

Killian felt his lips parts, his eyes moving from one woman to the next.

"I guess a tour of the house can wait, for a little while at least," he finally murmured. "I'm curious to see what you've done to the room anyway."

And, yes, he felt all of sixteen in that moment, the misplaced embarrassment something he was not easily removed from.

Hefting the suitcases he held in each hand, he pushed himself into the house, with a trail of giggles from all three ladies behind him.

****

"Perhaps me mum's idea was the better choice," Killian murmured, pushing his leg between Emma's as he tightened his arms around her middle.

"I love when your British is showing," Emma sighed back.

It put a smile on Killian's face as she twisted around in his arms, turning to face him.

Perhaps getting sleep on a nearly seven-hour plane ride wasn't as rewarding as he'd thought. Lying down in the Queen-sized bed that had replaced his old one, holding onto his wife in his arms, he knew that there was no place that he'd rather be. Even being at home, with his mother and sister-in-law were only a floor away from him, it was Emma that made him happy.

"I'm guessing that it will seep out a lot more over the next couple of weeks," she continued, a smile covering her face that matched his own.

"Well, only if you don't mind," Killian murmured back.

Emma's smile began a quiet laugh just as the fingers of one hand wrapped around his.

"We're here, Killian." This time, she tilted her head just a bit as she searched out his face. "We're in your parents' home." She took in a small breath as her chin came up. "We're in your old bedroom, which I didn't have a chance to visit on any of my trips here to see you." She smiled again, only to have it disappear. "How do you feel? How are you doing?"

Honestly?

They were such wide-open questions. In that moment, Killian didn't want to even let his mind travel down the many paths that those questions lead to. Instead, he focused on the here and now. And in the here and now…

"I'm doing fine," he finally answered her, his own gaze taking its time to look at his wife. "It's been nice being surrounded by the women in my life. It's nice to have all of you here and under one roof. I… can't complain."

Killian tightened his hold on her hand, letting the slip between the narrow space between their bodies.

"Good," Emma sighed.

He appreciated the fact that she didn't press on the other things that they both knew that he could have answered. They weren't far from being presented with that. It was mere hours before the work day would be over. And then…

Emma moved again, bringing her body even closer to his. This time, it was her foot that slipped between his, linking the two of them together. She rested her head on his shoulder, a sigh leaving her mouth and gently hitting his cheek.

She was… absolutely everything that he could ever wish in a wife, partner for life, best friend… This moment was only one more example as to how.

The events that were to happen later on that day tried to enter his mind, only to be pushed away by the moment he was having now. There was a reason for that. Right now, he was fine. Right now, it was just he and his wife.

Killian placed a kiss on her well-placed forehead, his lips lingering for a moment.

"This was a good idea of Donovan's, Killian," Emma told him quietly.

Her shared thought kept his lips planted to her forehead.

"I know it was," she continued. "And I can't wait until a little more of this is… behind you."

Killian blinked his eyes once, then twice. He didn't have a verbal response to her words. But Emma seemed to be okay with that.

They were both quiet, no more conversation needed. They stayed that way until they both drifted off to sleep.

****

"I remember the moment your father told me of his idea of having you head to Boston to be with your brother."

Killian's mother's voice was full of reminiscing from behind him. His hand stilled the fireplace poker, pausing his job at stoking the flames of the fire as he crouched down in front of it..

He sucked in his cheek, his teeth gnashing at it gently for just a moment.

"Was that before or after he shared that bit of news with me?" he asked, his lips quirking up in a unamused smile.

Donovan had dropped the news on him with very little warning. Although he hadn't been on the best terms with his dad at the time, the feeling of not exactly being good enough or ideal enough for Donovan Jones filling Killian to capacity, it had been a surprise to him that his father would make such a suggestion. A suggestion? Perhaps…

"He shared that decision with me only just prior of him sharing it with you," Anastasia admitted quietly, still in reverie of the topic.

Killian felt another twitch of his lips. His fingers tightened around the poker, finally stirring the oak logs, watching as the flames flickered and crackled to life.

"I never would have thought that it would have been the ideal situation that it turned out to be, Killian."

He rocked on his heals slowly, letting her words ruminate in his mind, before he looked back at her over his shoulder.

His mum's eyes settled on his as she stood just feet away. There was an ease in her stance, her fingers looped together easily, her chin pointing down, and her eyes wide.

Was she right?

Of course she was right. But was it for the right reasons?

"I took up his offer because it meant a chance to be away from him, to be free of him," Killian admitted quietly, feeling the pit that was growing in the deepest part of his belly.

His mum's eyes blinked on him this time, her chin raising all of three centimeters. He almost expected her to stay quiet, unable to come up with a response.

"Whereas his decisions were based solely on giving you exactly what you needed to flourish, Killian," she said lightly.

If he'd had more time to process that response, if he'd had more time to think on what those words meant, then perhaps he would have formulated a follow-up question as he stood up to full height, He hadn't had the chance at all…

"Liam and Donovan our home."

Elsa's excited announcement came with the sound of two pairs of shoes entering the living room.

The pit in Killian's belly was now ignored in favor of the thud of his chest. The day had been crawling away. The clock had been ticking away towards the moment for weeks now. And it was now upon him.

"They might need help with the bags." Elsa's optimistic smile brightened the room as she continued to cross the room.

Emma's steps seemed to slow down, letting Elsa continue on her path to find both her husband and father-in-law, and instead found herself heading towards her own husband.

"Killian?"

It was his mum who had called him to attention, her voice light but firm.

"While they are bringing in what I hope is only the catered dinner, why don't you and Emma join me in setting up the dining room for our meal?"

Emma's hand slipped around his arm, hugging her body close to his.

"I think she is offering you an extra moment, Killian," she told him quietly, looking up at him.

Killian looked from his wife to his mum, before giving a simple nod in answer.

"If that is what you wish, then certainly," he answered just as firmly.

And when his mum turned to walk away, he didn't question the pull to follow. Taking in a deep breath, he tried not to focus on the front door opening a room away. He tried not to focus on the fact that, for the first time in a very long time, he was in the same vicinity as his father.

No. Instead, with Emma firmly at his side and a smile on her face, he followed his mother towards the kitchen. It was true. Soon enough, he would be facing his father.

****

How many packages could possibly be in the car to where it took three people actual minutes to bring them all in? How much work had Liam and Donovan brought home? How much food was it going to take to feed the six of them?

Killian gripped the set of plates tight in his hands before he pressed them into Emma's hands.

"What… What are you doing?" She'd asked the question, but he knew that she already knew the answer. That was why she tilted her head, her eyes moving to glance off to the side. "Are you sure?" She hesitated when she looked back his way, probably as uncertain as he was about what they both knew he was about to do.

"I'll be right back," he assured her quietly, side-stepping her and heading away from the kitchen.

He'd put it off for long enough. He'd allowed… well, there were a combination of feelings that was constantly swirling around inside of him. But he was done with all of that. There had been plenty of times that he'd acted passively, ignoring his father and those issues that surrounded them. It was no longer time to act passive, waiting for the moment where Donovan Jones would walk up to him and begin this dance. Not this time.

Killian's firm steps had lead him straight to the front door. Elsa had left it ajar went she'd scurried off in hopes of reuniting with Liam. He fisted the doorknob, pulling the door wide open and stepping out all in a fluid movement.

It was the scene before him: It was the smile on Elsa's face as she stood between the two men, it was the way Liam carried the paper and plastic sack carefully with his right arm so that he could take Elsa's hand in his left, and it was the way that Donovan's facial expression and steps matched in intensity, just as always.

Never let it be said that Killian believed he wasn't loved. He knew that both his parents loved him. But there was something about being loved by a father who was business-minded first over anything else.

It showed in the way Donovan raised his sons. There wasn't a time where he hadn't expected them to follow in his footsteps. There wasn't a time where he hadn't expected them to be as successful as he. It was a bloody shipping company, for God's sake! It was a multi-pound shipping company, but why had it been so important to make sure that Liam and he did the same thing?

It wasn't as if Donovan had begun on top, Killian knew. It had been a work in progress, over many years before he had moved their family to America. It had been years before he was back in England, heading up his own branch. The work he had put in hadn't gone unnoticed by Killian. He knew. He also knew that Donovan had expected them to be the same. To put in the time, to love it as much as he, to have a secured and profitable future. And Donovan had given them that.

At least Liam loved it…

And Killian… had tried very hard to be as successful at it as possible…

It wasn't that he hated it. He'd found that he was an excellent charmer at some point, which worked well with clients. It had become second-nature, and very lucrative. He'd also always had a head for numbers, figures always coming easy for him. So he'd found his place at EMID, first beside his father, and now beside Liam. But was that enough for Donovan? It was enough for Killian, for now. It wasn't Killian in the position of absolute power as his father and brother, but his contribution was and position left him with just enough power to bide his father for time. And it was enough for him.

Killian had let himself get into his own head. Perhaps seeing Liam and their father standing together wasn't helping. It had always felt to him as if Liam had been everything Donovan had wanted in a son. Then there was him. The one that was always just a bit underwhelming. The one who was just a little bit off from what his expectations. Looking at them now, yes, it was Killian who favored him physically, but Liam who favored him in manner and perhaps mind.

It was Donovan who noticed their visitor first, his eyes finally lifting towards the door and his gaze settling on his younger son.

The strong stride lessened at least by a third of his prior steps. He lifted his chin, his eyes squinting in the corners until they returned to normal.

Perhaps personal wasn't as fine as he believed. Perhaps it was a bit difficult to separate the two.

"Killian." Donovan's voice was a deep grumble cutting across the distance between he and Killian.

There was an instant need to straighten, to appear as put together as possible.

"Father." It was all he'd gotten out, the need to clear his throat becoming an overwhelming feeling as they were still a distance apart. "Hello, Liam." He made himself look away from his father so that he could study his brother instead.

The trip seemed to do him well. Or was it the reunion between him and his wife after a day apart? No matter. The smile of Liam face and the shine of his eyes said that all was right with the world.

"Do you need anymore help?" Killian asked, moving then out of the door and offering his services.

Both men shook their head, leaving Killian to halt where he was.

It was only another second or so before they'd made their way to the door. It was only another second or so before the three Jones' men stood before each other in the doorway of their family home. It was only another second or so before it was only about Donovan Jones and his younger son, Killian.

They faced each other, silently. Or was it just that Killian had blocked out any and everything that wasn't about meeting his father's eye for the first time in a very long time.

"Son." Donovan was the first to break the silence, a not quite smile forming on his face as he lifted a hand towards him.

It reminded Killian that it had been his father, over the last couple of months, who had reached out first. Just as his hand stretched out to be taken by Killian, it had been Donovan who had sent the first message, the first call.

What he'd said to Emma, that it wasn't about the personal between he and his father, also came to mind. If it was professional, then while in the hell was it so bloody hard to not hesitate?

"Hello." Staring down at the hand in front of him, Killian took it in his own. It was a firm handshake. There was more than just a second where the two clasped their hands together. And then he pulled back.

Donovan's blue gaze squinted on him again, his chin pointing downward this time.

"It's good to have you home, Killian," he murmured, taking inventory of the man in front of him.

It wasn't as if Killian had left England as a little boy. So why then…

Whatever thought was forming in his head ceased as Donovan gripped him at the wrist, shackling and then pulling him in for an embrace. Killian hadn't expected to feel the arm that wrapped around his back, sealing the two of them together in a hug.

In his own body, he felt the stiffness of his back, resisting the embrace as being something unfamiliar.

"It's really good to have you home, Killian," Donovan whispered this time. It felt…

That first text message, the morning after his elopement, had sounded sincere. Killian hadn't known how to take that initially. Was he supposed to believe it, or was he supposed to dissect every single word until he found the underlying meaning of the whole?

In his father's embrace, in his father's words, he was having that moment again. But this time… This time it was harder to question. This time, it rang true throughout.

Killian hadn't noticed that his eyes had closed shut until he opened them. He looked at the pair who stood behind his father, saw the approval on his brother and his sister-in-law's face,

"It's…" His throat felt surprisingly dry in that moment. His arm braced against his father's, but cautiously. "It feels good to be home."

****

There was a part of him that wanted to take it back. There was a part of him that wanted to hold on to the skepticism, latching on and trusting what he'd always known.

He wasn't Liam, had never been Liam, would never be Liam. If Killian had been more like Liam, then…

It wasn't as if he wasn't used to peaceful dinners with his family. It had been a while since they were all together though, with Liam living out of the country. The addition of both their wives also didn't detract from the atmosphere, but actually enhanced it. Perhaps that is what it was. Perhaps it had been far too easy, far too normal, to leave Killian with the ease he supposed he should have. The ease that was right there on the surface, yet with a layer of skepticism just underneath.

"Now that you're here, you have to share with us the story of your elopement."

His mother's statement was full of amusement, directed at both he and Emma. 7

Killian found himself glancing at Emma before letting his gaze slip across the whole of the table. It was his father that drew him, he knew. It was the ability to look at him with a purpose, and not only watch with an intense need to understand himself and those feelings swirling through him.

"It really was a spur of the moment thing," Emma shared from beside him. "We… hadn't talked marriage at all at that point."

He turned his attention back to her, finding the smile that she shared with his mother from across the table. Her smile put a smile on his own face, the thought of that morning leaving a warmth to seep through his body.

"We… hadn't much spoke on it together, but…" The memory was wrapped in emotions, making Killian pause. It hadn't been that long ago, and it still hit him hard. "Proposing to Emma that morning seemed like the most right thing in the world to do."

Emma's smile was radiant, the shine highlighting her entire face. "And saying yes was the only answer."

"So how did you go from the decision to get engaged to the decision to run off and elope?"

Liam's question seemed to be on the mind of everyone else, because all pairs of eyes settled on both Killian and Emma. Liam's blue gaze held a twinkle of mirth, Elsa's hunched shoulders suggested her twinkle to be of delight, his mum's stare seemed hopeful, and his dad's was almost intense. All eyes on them, waiting for the story that had not been given as of yet.

Killian's gaze slipped back over at Emma, finding that she was already watching him. He opened his mouth, meaning to speak, but it was his hand that moved. Traveling across the short length that separated them, his fingers found those of his wife's and held on firmly.

"When I asked her to marry me, Emma had told me… that she would gladly marry me… that day," he finally shared with his family. His eyes darted across her face, the memory of that day one of his favorites. "So… of course… I had to ask her to… marry me that day. If," he continued, shaking his head, "I could make it possible for her to be my wife that day, then I wanted nothing more than to do that."

Her smile widened as her fingers tightened around his.

"That's all there was to it," she told them, shaking her own head. She turned away from Killian, looking back at the rest of the people who sat around the table with them. "He asked. I said yes. And then it became a mad dash to make it happen that day."

"Who knew that my son was the romantic type," Anastasia teased, splitting her gaze between them.

It wasn't something new, her ability at making the tips of his ears burn red. And right in front of the entire family.

"Mum…" He almost regretted the word slipping from tight lips, instantly feeling the creeping of the blush raising up his neck.

Instead of getting the usual teasing response from Emma, she squeezed at his hand, holding firmly.

It didn't help the need to glance across the table, taking in the wry grin of his brother and the forever sweet smile of his sister-in-law. Yet, it wasn't surprising to see the way his father furrowed his brow as he picked up the glass of wine that was paired with their meal.

"And what about the part where you went off the grid?" Liam asked lightly. "Just whose idea was that?"

Killian felt his mind begin to twist. He didn't like where it was going. He didn't like questioning the raised brow of his father at those questions that were brought up by Liam. He didn't want to think that he'd found one more thing for Donovan to be skeptical of.

Because that wasn't true. Deep down, he knew that wasn't true because all of their being together had been at Donovan's assistance. The correspondences over the last weeks had been through him. So… it wasn't skepticism in his features, was it? There wasn't any contention because he'd ran off with Emma and gotten married, only to disappear into a void for an entire day to follow, was there?

"Not necessarily, right, Killian?"

Was it Emma mentioning his name that brought him back to the group, or was it the light squeeze on her fingers around his? He'd zoned out for a while, losing himself in thoughts of trying to figure out his father. In that time, he'd missed part of the conversation. Which had been about…

"Sorry, love." Killian's eyes widened on her. "I… missed that."

The look that passed over Emma's face came and went in a flash, but he read it easily. It was easy to convey to one another his thoughts and what she'd gleaned of those thoughts.

"We just wanted to let everyone know that we were fine while still being able to enjoy the fact that we were married," she said to everyone, but more so to repeat the information for him. "It wasn't so much about sneaking away or teasing everyone."

Their going off the grid. Right...

"Well, the shock and surprise was imminent," Killian murmured, glancing once more around the table. "Emma wanted to share, but I was much more of the mind of celebrating between the two of us."

This time, there was a lift of one corner of Donovan's mouth before he raised his glass once more.

There wasn't something ominous about that look, was there? Or the look that the two men all of a sudden shared between them.

There was a part of Killian that wanted to believe everything that Emma had told him. There was a part of him that wanted to believe that the resentment he'd been holding on to could be resolved. There was also a part of him that believed that Donovan wanted that just as much as he did.

For the first time in a very long time… Killian felt… a nervousness that didn't come from the teasing of either his mum or his wife, or a nervousness that came from being the man his brother or father expected him to be. No, this was a different nervousness. It was a nervousness that stemmed from having to let go of a weight that had been a part of him for his entire adult life.

****

"Not so bad, huh?" Emma whispered the question, her arm coming in contact with his own as she brushed against him.

The crackling of the fire wasn't that loud, but Killian hadn't heard her come into the empty living room. Now, here she was beside him, already twisting his mind in a direction that he had been trying to keep from going...

How had things gone from tense to okay in the matter of a couple of hours? Bloody hell, how had tension that had been there in his shoulders for years been able to lessen even at a minimum in such a short time?

Killian hadn't expected the smiles. He hadn't expected the ease of conversation to take over the group as the night continued. He hadn't expected to be the only one who had to work at letting the years slip away and embrace the moment for what it was. And that's what it seemed like. It seemed, to him at the very least, that it was only he who remembered that he was virtually shipped off across the Atlantic when his father had had enough of him on a day to day basis.

The tension returned, building up in his lower back and making him stiffen up straight.

Emma stepped away from beside him, taking the spot in front of him instead. Her green eyes had gone a bit wide as she let her gaze slip over him.

Killian wanted to relax, before she read more than she should have (which would have been the truth) in his demeanor. He knew it as her arms came to cross loosely over her chest.

"Dinner went smoothly," she said quietly, her brows furrowing into a frown and head tilting. "Donovan was just as I would have expected him to be: not overly conversational, but appropriate." Her head tilted in the other direction this time. "He had nothing but good things to add to the conversation when he did speak."

He knew what was to come next, and it had Killian shifting from one foot to the other.

"So why are you still apprehensive, Killian?" Emma finally asked. Her arms fell away from one another and her fingertips came to run down the front of his shirt. "What is it?"

There was still a part of him that didn't know what it was.

"What did you expect, Killian?" This time, it was softer. Everything in her demeanor- the way her fingers spread across his chest, the green of her eyes, the tilt of her head, the tone of voice- was softer.

What had he expected?

He felt his mouth open. Even then, he eyes went to gaze over her shoulder before coming back.

"I don't know." It was thick from the truth and from confusion.

She didn't quite smile, but he could tell some of her worry had disappeared.

"Personal was always easier," Emma reminded him.

"And yet…"

His pause allowed for her to assess him and the situation.

"You need to talk to him, one-on-one." The words were firm, as was the nod of her head. "The family setting and having us all together is great and all, but this is about you and my father-in-law." She lifted her shoulder in a hard shrug. "Nothing will be settled in your head, or in your heart for that matter, until you sit and talk to him." His wife gripped his shirt tight in her hands pulling him closer to her. "No matter how much you want it to be."

It was easy to tell why he loved her so much...

Killian stood there, silently watching her. He could feel his heart in his chest. It was a strong, steady, and slow thump that felt close to bursting right through him.

"It doesn't have to be tonight," Emma whispered, her eyes settling on his.

Yes, it was very easy to tell why he loved her so much…

He also felt the thickness in his throat, causing his tongue to roll around in his mouth and then take a hard swallow. He dropped a quick kiss on her cheek, letting his lips linger there for a moment.

"Perhaps it's the only way," he murmured quietly. He didn't move away from her, his lips brushing against her cheek and his eyes staying closed for just a bit longer.

Emma's hands fell away from the front of his shirt, moving lower to grip him at his waist.

"I can see it, Killian," she sighed quietly. "I can see it in him. And I can feel it in you." She moved her cheek, pulling away.

At her request, Killian opened his eyes and looked at her, finding the solemn yet encouraging face of his wife.

"Before this is all over, you're going to be on your way to mending that tear in your relationship with Donovan." It was firm again, and said without a doubt. "Because, deep down, that's what you want, Killian." Her hold on him tightened again. "I know it."

She knew it?

He was used to it. There had been really nothing that neither he nor Donovan could have done in the past about their relationship. It was what it was. But then something had happened. His father had reached out for him. And no matter how begrudgingly Killian had accepted the branch, he'd… accepted.

The simple two-syllable response he gave was shaky at best. "Perhaps."

****

He wasn't surprised to find them together. The fact that it wasn't surprising didn't help his nerves. It was what he should have expected. Father and prodigal son.

Killian hadn't been away from the group that long before Emma had found him in the living room. When she dragged him back to the dining room, all that had been left were the two ladies. He hadn't felt as if he'd been gone all that long, but he guessed that it was long enough for both Donovan and Liam to depart.

"They're in the study, Killian," his mum had shared with him, offering up a smile. "Go find them." His hesitance didn't stop her from continuing, "I would love to have some alone time with my daughters-in-law anyway. I've had Elsa for two weeks, but now I have them both." She had actually lifted her hand in a wafty wave. "Go ahead, Killian."

It had been with that wave, an encouraging bite of lip from Elsa, and a green gaze filled with love from Emma that Killian had nodded his concession and left the room.

He knew Emma hadn't said anything to either Elsa or his mum, so perhaps it was a consensus from the three, all on their own, that his place was with Donovan,

Emma had said…

It wasn't only a simple act of stepping away and giving the women their privacy. It couldn't have been. Because, as Killian stood in the doorway of the study that was used mainly as Donovan's sanctuary, he found both father and son poring over the desk while in deep conversation, father sitting behind the grand desk in front of the laptop, and son right over his shoulder.

At eight o'clock in the evening, they looked completely in sync, deeply entrenched in work.

It took every fiber in Killian's being to not turn on his heel and walk out of the study in which he had barely stepped into.

"Killian, get in here."

He was almost surprised to see Liam's head pop up slowly and glance his way.

"Wallace left a message," Liam said, raising an eyebrow his way. "There was something that came up with one of the shipments."

"And you're just hearing about it this late in the day?" Killian asked slowly, taking a careful step into the study.

"It's three o'clock his time," Donovan reminded him gruffly, glancing up himself to look at his younger son.

Right…

It was only three o'clock in Boston.

Bloody hell.

"I wanted to have Dad look things over, since we're both here," Lism added, standing to full height this time.

"Then-"

"You seem to be reverting, little brother. Jumping to conclusions and all that." Liam's tone was playful, a grin lighting his face to match. "Killian, get your arse in here."

He hadn't even noticed the first step backward until he'd taken another. But his eyes locked on the sight before him. There was no doubt about it: Killian took after his father physically. Standing there was like looking into a mirror some thirty years in the future. But Liam took after him in other areas. His older brother may have had a kind streak that was missing in Donovan, but they were still so much alike.

"I just thought-"

"It's dealing with the possible consolidation efforts," Donovan cut in, not waiting for Killian to get his full thought out.

"Sounds a bit over my head at the moment," Killian murmured, offering his own quick yet mirthless smile. "At least at the moment."

When the room went silent, when both pairs of blue eyes turned on him in questioning, Killian found himself standing as straight as his brother.

"Mum is with the ladies," he finally got out, hoping it sounded as strong as it should have. "But if you're busy with all of this…" He took another step back, ignoring the tightening of his chest at the somber mood overtaking the room.

"In all the time that you've been in Boston with Liam, I wouldn't expect anything that is discussed here to be over your head, Killian," Donovan rambled out quickly. Hands firmly against the wood of the desk, he pushed himself back into his chair, leaning up to look at Killian. "This is dealing with something that could directly affect the conditions in which the Boston branch is ran." His eyebrows snapped together in a deep frown. "Does that not interest you at all?"

"Killian's been instrumental in figuring out the details of the cost effectiveness of taking on this project," Liam added. "You know, Dad, how impossibly perfect he is when it comes to that sort of thing."

Killian almost tensed in his stance, but did everything in his power to not let it happen.

"Of course I know." Donovan's seat snapped forward as he stacked his arms on the desk in front of him. "It's one of the things that I missed most from you when you had to leave, son."

Had to leave? Killian's lips twisted in bemusement. Well, that was one way to interpret things. He, himself, had liked to interpret it as being sent away when his father could no longer deal with the facade of Killian ever being the one to follow directly in his footsteps. But... that was only one perception...

"Do you want to stay, Killian, or… not?"

There was something… different about the way the question left Donovan's mouth. There was something different about the question itself.

Even with the direct question out there, Killian took a mental step backwards this time. It was his conversation with Emma that came to mind, her soft and wise words of encouragement and… knowing. Because she knew him, sometimes better than he knew himself. She had been right. Everything that she had said… had been right.

"I'm staying." The affirmation was about as firm as he could have possibly made it. The distance between Killian and his brother and father diminished by a foot before he paused right there, his feet not cemented there, but almost.

"Very well." The words were gruff. Donovan spared him another second to take in a good look before his eyes fell back down to the desk and screen in front of him.

Killian took that moment to eye Liam, finding the upturn lips a sign of… more than just pleasure, but perhaps even approval.

His hands slipped into his pants pockets as he mentally ordered first one foot and then the other to move farther into the room.

"Liam said that you were spearheading the configurations on this."

Donovan's voice and the way he raised his head back so that he could look at Killian almost gave Killian a mental block. He felt the way his hands clenched in his pockets, but continued to lifted the lead-like shoes across the floor.

Bloody hell… In his last year with his father, he'd created a wall around himself, impenetrable by the looks, the stares, the questions, the expectations. Standing there now, it was impossible to remember being college-age, freshly back in London, with similar looks on his father's face while he shared his expectations to both Liam and Killian.

"I gave a presentation the last day I was in the office, yes," he shared before taking a small swallow.

Donovan pushed himself back in his seat, his hand coming up to graze his bearded cheek as he watched Killian.

"There hasn't been a definitive answer as of yet," Liam spoke up. His own fingers came up to rub across his chin. "Which is why, Dad, your imput would be most helpful."

Donovan's brought his head down chin coming close to hitting chest.

"I have a moment," he murmured quietly. "If you boys want a little insight from this side of the pond, I'm willing." He looked up then, his eyes on Liam first before crossing over to Killian.

"Killian?"

The way Liam called to him in question…

"I already said: I'm here."

The unsettling feeling hadn't disappeared. There were a hundred questions and thoughts running through his own mind, including wondering what was going on in his father's. But…

"I'm here," he murmured again.

His feet weren't submerged in quicksand or cement anymore. He ate away at the distance between them in a matter of seconds until the computer screen was in front of him as well.

"Let's start with you then, Killian." Donovan cleared his throat quietly, straightening in his seat. "Take a look here. These are the documents that Wallace emailed."

Killian's eyes fell across the screen, taking a quick look. Then he nodded.

"I know exactly."

****

"Wait a minute, Killian."

He hadn't expected his father to call him back, hadn't expected to prolong whatever that was that the three Jones' men had shared in the study of their family home.

Killian looked ahead at Liam, watched the way he hung his head and continued to slip out of the room. His tongue poked out of his mouth, wetting his lips before he slowly turned back around in the direction of his father.

Donovan's eyes were not on him, but passed him. It was another few beats, his eyes watching something… someone- Liam. He was waiting… to be out of earshot.

Killian stared at him, his father.

"Do you want out?"

It was quiet. Beyond that, it was unreadable. Killian couldn't take away anything from the tone. He couldn't take away anything from the way his father stood there, straight and proud, as he looked at him after asking the question.

Killian felt himself swallow, his head turning one way and then the other.

"Do I want out?" he asked, his brows lifting and feeling himself lean forward.

"Out of the business," Donovan prompted, making his question clear.

Out of the business...

Why…

After dedicating his entire career to EMID, after grooming both of his sons to do as he did, Donovan Jones was now asking his younger son if… he wanted out.

"Why are you asking me that?" His own question slipped from his lips oddly. That's how he felt: odd.

A beat passed, the silence only stretching.

"I'm asking you that," Donovan said, shaking his head from one side to the next, "because I need to know if this is something that you don't want."

"After all this time?" Killian probably hadn't meant to ask that question, but it was out. "After all these years, you ask me that now?"

"I'm asking you that now." His face was a blank slate still, not giving anything away.

Killian's eyes darted across the older man's face, pinpointing on every vital piece of him.

They had spent nearly an hour together, the three of them. He'd been used to being under his father's thumb, being watched carefully. This had also been the first time that the three of them had worked on any kind of project as a group. Liam's gifts had almost exclusively been used in the American branch, not here. So the chances at moments like these…

It was rare.

"You're good at your job, Killian," Donovan began again, the gruffness of his voice finally giving something away. What it was, Killian still wasn't sure. The way he stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared straight at him should have said something to. "You're as good as I always knew you could be. But-"

"But?"

If he paid attention, he would be able to hear his steady heartbeat begin to pulse in his ears. He was good at his job, but what? He still didn't live up to the terms and conditions that Donovan had set out for him when he was still a teenager? Was that it?

"But you always ran away from it," Donovan finished slowly, his eyes narrowing.

Killian could see the way his hands moved in his pockets. He wondered if he was balling up his fist as well.

"You never loved it the way your brother did." Donovan lifted a single brow this time. "You never thought to give it your all in the way that I did. So… I'm asking you, Killian: do you want out? Do you want out of this business for good?"

His father had caught him off guard. He hadn't expected that question. But it was the look on Donovan Jones' face that said that this didn't come out of nowhere. This had been a topic of that should have been up for discussion for a while.

"Is that why you really wanted me here, father?" The question was quiet, leaving his mouth on not much more than a whisper. The pulse in his ears matched the beat in his chest, strong and slow.

Donovan lifted his chin first, followed by the lift of his foot that brought him minutely closer.

"You're home because it was time to put an end to the separation between us that has lasted for more than a year," he correctly firmly. "You're here because things in your personal life have changed greatly, and it was time to acknowledge that."

Killian lifted his head in a slight nod. "Personal… Right." The nod became a slight shake of his head, from left to right. "Then why bring up…" He stopped himself from letting his eyes grow wide in wonder. "Do you want me out? After all this time, do you want me out?"

He'd felt it, almost always. He'd never been as good as Liam. Donovan was right. Liam had made the business an integral part of his life. He'd stayed right on the track that their father had put them on.

Killian had stayed, but it had been… almost begrudgingly.

"I don't want you out." Still, the tone was hard to discern. "I want you happy."

This time, Killian almost smiled.

"Since when was my happiness over my job any concern of yours, father?" he asked, keeping the smirk in. "When you decided my future all those years ago, without a question from me in all that time?"

Donovan stepped back wordlessly, his eyes stilled trained on Killian. Finally, his mouth did open, just as his hands fell from his pockets.

"Why do you think I sent you to Boston, Killian?" The question wasn't more than a gruff whisper as his chin lifted in the air. "Tell me. Why did I send you to America?"

That was easy.

"You sent me there so that I was under Liam and no longer under you," he answered, taking a step forward and closing the gap that his father had left.

Donovan clasped his hands together in front on his, his eyes never leaving his son.

"You think the reason I sent you to Boston was to be Liam's problem and no longer my own?"

"Wasn't it?" Killian challenged. "Were you not hoping to have Liam succeed where you had failed in making me more like you?

Another moment of silence. The thump in Killian's chest, it shouldn't have began to turn into an ache. It was as simple as those words. His father had tired of the stunts, tired of not seeing the growth. He had sent him away to be with Liam, in America, away from him.

It shouldn't have made him as upset as he was. It shouldn't have mattered. Not when he was used to it. Not when it had been his life for so many years.

"That's not why you went to America," Donovan told him quietly, sounding almost in awe and leaving his lips slightly parted.

Killian offered up another small smile.

"If it wasn't that, if it was anything else, what was it then, Father?"

The smile fell quickly. Killian took to gnawing at his bottom lip.

There was a part of him that thought a repair of any sort of their relationship was useless. It had been this way for years. What was going to change just because of a move, a marriage, and a trip back?

There was a larger part of him that did want the repair. That part of him didn't want to continue to feel like the failure he'd believed himself of being in his father's eyes. He wasn't… a bad person. He wasn't… a bad son. He was just… different. Different than Donovan Jones. Different from Liam Jones. He was… different, but…

Was it too much? All the bottled up feelings and emotions. Was it too much in that moment? For him?

"What was it then, Father?" he asked again, hearing the slip of emotion coming through far too strongly.

Donovan's fingers flexed apart. He fell back a step, putting that separation between them once more.

"Killian." It was thick as well. He looked at his son, from head to toe, and then back again before settling on his eyes. "Are you happy in Boston?"

Killian swallowed again, taking a second, not to think it over, but to wonder where his father was going.

"I'm bloody fantastic in Boston," he bit out. Why? What was the point?

The step that Donovan took this time didn't widen the gap, but lessened it.

"In Boston, you have your brother. You rekindled your friendship with Emma. For the first time in all the years that you've known her, you moved away from only friendship. You married your best friend."

As each fact was ticked off calmly and matter-of-factly by Donovan, Killian stood stock still. A list of changes in his life?

"You're flourishing in your role at work." Donovan shook his head briefly. "And it's not at the chagrin of fulfilling what is expected of you." His head dipped then, peering straight into Killian's eyes. "Did you have that here?"

Killian knew the answer that he was supposed to give. No, he hadn't had those things when he was he.

"I didn't have my brother, but I had you," he reminded his father. "My friendship with Emma wasn't diminished while I was here, it was only better to be face-to-face." He felt the way his eyes cut shrewdly at the new thought in his mind. "I had a relationship here. I was with Elizabeth, and I broke that off when you told me your plans."

"So it is the same?" Donovan pressed his lips together, waiting insistently.

It wasn't the same…

"No, it wasn't."

"And you were happy here, and not only existing, is that what you're saying?" Donovan asked lightly. He shook his head again, his mouth falling apart again.

The silence began to grow once more. The ounce of ease that was once in the room seemed to dissipate, leaving behind a trail of uncertainty. At least from Killian's standpoint.

What was his father getting at? Was he supposed to believe…

"Why did you send me away, if not to be rid of me?" he asked through nearly clenched teeth.

Again, Donovan blinked his eyes at him. Once. Twice. Three times. His hand at his side began to clench and unclench. And then he took a step forward, another small inhalation of breath taken at the same time.

"Sending you to Boston… Killian." He paused again, his eyes covering the whole of his face.

Killian stuck out his tongue, licking at the corner of his lips. The frown was a permanent fixture as his mind tried to come to the answer while still waiting for his father.

"It was my way… of giving you…"

When had he gotten so close? When had he become on an arm's length away?

"A chance, Killian," Donovan finally got out. "It was my way… of pushing you… towards finding… happiness."

He sounded sincere. He sounded truthful. When had that happened? When had truthfulness, honesty, and openness become a thing between the two of them?

Did he believe him?

"You sent me away… for me?" If he seemed a bit perplexed, if he seemed doubtful…

Donovan's hand struck out, taking ahold of Killian's arm, and gripping tightly.

"I sent you away for you, not for me," Donovan repeated firmly, leaving no room for misinterpretation. "And seeing how far you've come, seeing what all you've gained? I would do it again."

Perhaps it was too many years, too much heartache…

"Sending me away wasn't a guarantee," he told his father, shaking his head. "You didn't know what was to happen-"

"All I knew for sure was that Liam would take care of you in ways that I couldn't." Donovan let his hand slip away from Killian's arm, letting it come back to hang loosely at his side. "I entrusted in Liam to give you a chance to figure out if EMID was going to be a good fit for you. If…" His brow shot up as a sigh left his lips. "If you didn't flourish there, then perhaps it wasn't only me, but the job itself. And as far as your change in relationships? Well," he continued, a smile taking over his face, "that was a bonanza. Perhaps an advantage your brother saw more so than I."

It seemed… as if…

If he was to believe any of this, if he was going to believe all of this…

Killian felt his head spinning. So much so that his hands raised, his fingers gripping at either side of his head, tangling into his hair.

"Killian?"

Donovan stepped back, a frown covering his features as he continued to look him over.

Killian felt his eyes blow wide open, staring back into the face that looked like his. He stared into the face of the man he'd thought he'd known, had figured out, and who he'd always had an uncanny way of disappointing.

He'd always been a bit too awkward, a bit too shy, a bit too quiet. And wasn't that the perfect combination to being at least a little bit disappointing?

"Were you happy here?" Donovan asked simply, his gaze almost blank, but something was trying to peek through.

Was he happy there? Had he been?

"I…" His mouth shut, and he felt the quiver before he opened it again. "I tried to be."

Donovan's own mouth tightened as he gave a quick nod.

"Are you happy in Boston?" It was a somber stare. Perhaps that's what it had always been.

There was only one answer to that question.

"I'm happy in Boston.": The words left his mouth quietly, but the sudden inhalation of breath had come as a surprise.

"Good." Donovan's eyes blinked rapidly before his head bent downward. "Good. Then my plan was a success. And that's what matters." He looked up again, he looked right at Killian.

He'd did it for Killian. Not to Killian, but for Killian.

How…

"Did Liam know?" he asked breathlessly. "Did Liam know what you were doing?"

Donovan stretched out the silent moment far too long, Killian's heart gripping in the meantime.

"Your brother wanted the best for you as well," Donovan answered simply.

It was Killian's turn to blink his eyes, more thoughts racing across his mind. Because when he thought about it, if he let himself think about it…

It made sense. It made sense.

It made sense…

"You seemed to believe that I didn't know you, Killian," Donovan told him, and perhaps he did seem a bit more perceptive than he'd been credited. "But I did. I do. You seemed to believe that our differences made you less valuable to me, less… vital."

It might have been a thought…

"That was never true," Donovan continued. "Liam may be more like me than you, but I wouldn't have pushed you if I didn't think you were worthy, valuable, vital. I've always believed in you, son."

Killian's heart began to race, just as his heart. It was everything that he needed to hear, and never knew that he did.

"So it's up to you. It's your decision. Do you want out?"

Donovan was good at hiding whatever emotion was flowing through him. He'd asked the question simply, as if so many things hadn't just happened in the space of a few minutes.

"Your personal life is exactly what you want it to be. You're happy in that aspect. But do you want out of the business?" He eyed him again, holding his gaze. "If you want out, Killian, if that would make you truly happy, then just say it."

His father was giving him an out. An out of the business. An out that had been a part of his life for nearly his entire life. A link to not only his father, but to his entire family.

"No." One syllable. One word. It was the truth.

"No?" Donovan breathed out.

He didn't want out. He didn't want to turn his back on his family.

"I'm good at my job," he reminded his father.

"Damn good," Donovan added. "But that doesn't mean-"

"You know what?" Killian moved that time, his limbs feeling shaky even as he made the movements. "I'm happy."

Happy more than just with the job. More than just his life in Boston. Those words meant something beyond that.

And Donovan got it. It was in his face that… he got it.

He extended his hand, holding it out, After that… it was Killian's move.

It was easy to let his mind continue on that fast track. It would have been easy to pause and come up with every scenario, to take his father's hand or not.

He didn't pause. He didn't stop himself.

Killian clasped his father's hand firmly in his own before pulling him against him. His arm was around his shoulders, hugging him close in that same second. The clap of hand to his own back, bringing the two of them in closer together, it what he felt almost instantly.

HIs eyes closed, he felt his face twist at the feeling of this hug compared to… all the others. It was different. And it wasn't only Donovan. It was… him. It was him as well.

"I'm glad you're happy, Killian."

The murmur rumbled in Killian's ear. And the words… were enough. They were a start. There was meaning behind those words.

He knew what that meaning was.

It was a start, right? A start in the right direction.

He almost hugged him tighter, but decided to just hug him longer.

"I'm happy, too."


End file.
